tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36590958978204696142024-03-12T17:23:54.375-08:00Sustainable AlaskaMy adventure with trying to reduce waste, buy locally, and live affordably in Fairbanks. This is not a manifesto on how others should live, simply a record of my journey toward a more sustainable life.SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.comBlogger436125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-69258275086747745822014-10-03T09:07:00.000-08:002014-10-03T09:07:28.114-08:00Food odds and ends, plus applesauceBecause we're planning to move next May, Shane and I decided that it was finally time to knuckle down and actually eat <i>everything</i> in our freezer. We've never done this before. We've said we wanted to, but then let other things and meals get in the way. Neither of us is terribly fond of fish and that is a majority of what's in the freezer. But now, neither of us wants to even think about moving frozen food. So it's either eat it, or give it away next May.<br />
This past spring, Northwest Edible Life did an <a href="http://www.nwedible.com/2014/03/eat-from-the-larder-challenge.html">"eat from your pantry" challenge</a>. I sort of followed it. At least, it got me thinking more about what we had which needed to get eaten up before summer's glut began. But there's no way we have enough in the house to not go grocery shopping at least occasionally, so I didn't feel really hardcore about this.<br />
This time, things are different. It's not just, "Oh, yeah, I'll make sure we eat that sometime this week." I am planning <i>every</i> meal based on what we've already got in the house. Breakfasts, lunches, dinners...everything has at least one pantry and/or freezer item in it. It's been rather incredible how quickly we've eaten our way through some things. Our chest freezer is already looking a little sparse, which is fabulous! I really think we can make it this time, as long as we keep our motivation up.<br />
I've made <a href="http://sisterx83.blogspot.com/2012/01/scones.html">cherry scones</a> for breakfasts (using up the last jar of cherries I canned <i>two years ago</i>) and will make <a href="http://www.melskitchencafe.com/healthy-oats-and-applesauce-muffins/">applesauce muffins</a> when they're all gone, using the applesauce which, again, has been sitting in our cupboard for several years. I burned it a little when I made it, and it tastes burnt, but not in muffins! I've also used it to make <a href="http://www.budgetbytes.com/2013/10/cranberry-apple-baked-oatmeal/">this apple-cranberry baked oatmeal</a>, which uses both the applesauce and some of the last of our cranberries.<br />
Lunches have been dinner leftovers (as usual) and dinners have been surprisingly well-rounded, tasty, and diverse. We're still buying vegetables from the store, which helps, but even the meat portion of the meal has been different every night, despite the fact that we've mostly just eaten fish and moose. But we made pesto salmon which was a <i>huge</i> hit with everyone, including the tiny human. (The recipe is: smear leftover pesto on a salmon fillet and bake until done.) We made curried halibut (it sucked, but only because the fillet was so old...leftovers went to the dog and we scrounged other leftovers and freezer items for lunch), moose roast, chili with moose, and a couple of vegetarian soups. Even those used pantry/freezer items, like tomatoes that I canned this year and celery from the freezer, my homegrown carrots and peas. Soon we'll be making <a href="http://sisterx83.blogspot.com/2012/03/nutrition-on-fly-alaskan-pie.html">Alaskan pie</a>, clam chowder (we have clams in the freezer), lasagna (with ground moose meat), and of course more salmon. (Tonight: <a href="http://www.insockmonkeyslippers.com/rosemary-and-garlic-roasted-salmon-revisited">rosemary garlic salmon</a>. Next time: <a href="http://damndelicious.net/2012/05/30/teriyaki-salmon-with-sriracha-cream-sauce/">teriyaki salmon with sriracha sauce</a>.)<br />
It's incredible to me how quickly we get through food now simply because we've added one very small person to our house. I swear, she eats half her body weight every single day! I love that she enjoys food, though. She's so far from being a picky eater that she actually loves strong flavors! Curry, chili, pesto...she even loved potato leek soup, so much so that she would ignore the banana pieces in front of her to lean over, mouth open, asking for more soup. She likes cabbage and turnips and carrots and she vastly prefers wild blueberries, which are far more flavorful and a bit tart. But she chews on rhubarb stalks from the garden, so I guess I don't have to worry about her disliking tart or sour things!<br />
Still, though, she is a baby, and she is human. She loves sweet things as much as anybody. She's gotten very small amounts of sugary items (like a bite or two) but for the most part her sweetness comes from fruit. One of the easiest things to make for her, when we're all out of other ideas or foods she can eat (she still doesn't have teeth, at 10 months, so we're stuck feeding her soft foods), is to give her "oatmeal". I bought steel cut oats in bulk and ground them up in the blender so that it's more like oat powder. Into this we mash fruit, or blend it up to mix in, and sometimes add a bit of spice. Her favorites have been blueberries (with nutmeg, if we feel like it), bananas (with cinnamon), plums. And, applesauce.<br />
As I said above, the last batch of applesauce I made for canning, I burned. No matter which pot I used, it always ended up burned. So now I only make applesauce in the CrockPot. I suppose it ends up being a little bit more like unspiced <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_butter">apple butter</a> that way. But, it's delicious. Applesauce is inherently less nutritious than eating whole apples, because a lot of the nutrition is in the skins. But, it's still fruit and until she grows some teeth, applesauce it is. To make applesauce, peel and core a bunch of apples. Put the flesh of the apples in the CrockPot and turn it on low for a few hours. That's it! Cook it down until it becomes the consistency of, you know, applesauce. If you've got a particularly hard bunch of apples you might add a tiny bit of water or cider. But I love using apples which have gone mealy, and they provide plenty of liquid.<br />
For extra frugal points, you can save the skins and cores and make a second batch of applesauce. Once the first batch is out, put the cores and skins into the pot and cook them until everything is breaking apart and mushy. The reason you don't want to do this with the regular flesh is because you'll have to strain out the seeds, stems, and whatever parts of the skins don't break down. It's so much easier when there's a bit less sauce to strain. Once it's cooked, push it through a fine mesh strainer with a wooden spoon, periodically emptying out the mashed up fruit which won't fit through. It's a bit of work, but not too much, and it's totally worth it. I cut all of my apples off the core anyway, so I just save them all in a bag in the freezer until I have enough to be worth saucing. Pear cores and peels can also be added, if you have any.<br />
Some people add sugar to applesauce, but why bother? It's plenty sweet, as long as you use some sweet varieties of apples. You can add cinnamon to the applesauce if you like, although I tend to do that when I'm using it instead. If you want to add other spices, cloves and nutmeg can make an interesting combination, but that also makes it more like spiced apple butter than a true applesauce.<br />
This year, I'm not going to bother canning the applesauce. My MIL gave me a silicone muffin pan which she hated, and which is perfect for freezing into 1/3 cup amounts, which Shane and I have taken to calling pucks. As in, "How many broth pucks should I add?" We've got peach pucks (that is so fun to say) from peaches which almost went bad, broth pucks, and now applesauce pucks. We'll eat through them, just as we're eating through the other stored and frozen foods. And with them, we'll get a little taste of summer or autumn during the long, harsh winter.<br /><br />
Overnight oatmeal with applesauce and cinnamon:<br /><br />
2/3 cup rolled oats*<br />
1 cup homemade applesauce**<br />
1/4 tsp cinnamon, or a little more to taste<br /><br />
Store in a small mason jar in the fridge overnight and pull out for breakfast. Do yourself a favor and warm it up in the microwave before eating. It is so delicious on a cold autumn morning.<br /><br />
*I originally tried this with steel cut oats. Don't. Even blasting in the microwave doesn't soften the oats at all. Stick to rolled oats for this.<br />
**I'm sure you could do this with store-bought applesauce as well, but I haven't tried that so no guarantees. If you do try it, just make sure that the applesauce is rather runny since it's the liquid part which softens and gets absorbed by the oats.SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-50341097897859935212014-09-18T10:15:00.000-08:002014-09-18T10:15:12.158-08:00It's been a whileIt's been a wild, crazy summer. I've had so much going on, both professionally and personally, that something had to give and, unfortunately, what gave was my blogging time. I have had so many ideas I wanted to write down, or started to write down, but never got to complete. There are so many things I want to get done and only so many hours in a day. Getting into all of the details would be far, far more than one (or even 8) blog posts could handle, so I won't even attempt it. I'll just highlight, and say that most of the changes have been really good. Also, I didn't stop writing entirely. I feel a little silly admitting this, but I wrote a book. It's a lighthearted piece of fluff, but one I think is good enough that I'm now working on getting it published. (Wish me luck!) So that's been sucking up any potential blogging time I might have had.<br />
So what are the big changes and highlights? First of all, there's work. I got a new job! This has been one of the best changes in my life since Miss B was born. I interviewed for this job mostly because it was away from my old supervisor (who was bad enough, and crazy enough, that I actually had to file a complaint against her with HR sometime in the last year--and the problems didn't stop, I just tried to keep my head down until I could find a way out) and because I would get a small pay raise. Well, the new job is better than I expected. I'm actually really enjoying it as a job. The tasks are fun, and my coworkers and supervisor are really supportive and friendly. I've worked with them before, so I did know that going into the job. But it's refreshing, after hating work and being so stressed out about it for so long, to have going to work suddenly be pretty good. And that small pay raise? It turns out that moving up a level the way I did entitled me to a 10% pay raise, rather than the $.50 or so that I thought it would be. Now, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdUD-jcr104">I keep thinking of this quote</a>, but my raise is nothing to sneeze at. It's enough that when Shane told me his campus job from the last two semesters is only taking on grad students this semester, we were able to be happy about it rather than stressed. We don't *need* the money from that job anymore, and now he gets to be home with Miss B more which makes finding babysitters for his class time much easier. He's still working his weekend job, and we're staying afloat. It's a good feeling.<br />
Miss B herself is thriving. She's 10 months old today! I can hardly believe it, although my thoughts keep turning to the upcoming 1st birthday party. I'm excited to plan it. We're going to ask the grandparents not to go crazy on gifts, and tell friends that gifts are unnecessary, because she's turning 1 and doesn't have any expectations and won't remember it anyway.<br />
We've finally got some of her sleeping problems settled. She's been in her own crib for several months now, and I miss the co-sleeping less than I thought I would. Don't get me wrong, sleepy baby snuggles are awesome. But she was pinching and scratching and kicking us toward the end there and we were being driven crazy. So the move into her own sleeping space has been a really great thing for all of us. She still doesn't want to go to sleep, and usually wakes herself up several times after we put her in bed, but once she's out we get only two wakeup calls during the night, to eat and be changed.<br />
She's thoroughly mobile now, on the cusp of walking. She has a baby walker which she can push around the living room and has quickly gotten really good at it. And she can stand for at least 30 seconds on her own. I've seen her eyeing distances between furniture like, "Hmm, could I walk there?" before she decides that the answer is "no" and drops to a crawl.<br />
She calls us by our slave names, "Mama" and "Dada". She even started calling one grandmother "Nana". Very exciting. It adds an extra level of pathos when I'm trying to make dinner and she crawls over to me, pulls herself up to stand clutching my leg, and says, "Ma! Mama!" because she wants to be held. Since she's so very curious I've been trying to get her involved in cooking as much as possible. She loves it. I'll pick her up once I've got all of the chopping and prep work done, and describe what I'm doing and why I'm doing it as I add ingredients to a dish. "See the onions? See how they're getting lighter and softer? They're almost ready." Yesterday she helped me make bread and was fascinated with the whole process. I let her eat a couple of small bites of dough and when I was kneading it she got some flour to play with. It's working really well for us to do things this way. She so wants to be like the big people that making her feel involved and important is going to be key as she grows up, I suspect.<br />
As always, the summer garden had highlights and low moments. My potatoes were <i>awful</i> because it was <a href="http://juneauempire.com/state/2014-09-01/wettest-summer-record-fairbanks">the rainiest, wettest summer on record</a> and they just didn't do well. Neither did any of my squashes. I got one--<i>one!</i>--zucchini. Thankfully, a friend got quite a few so she shared with me, and I grabbed some from the farmer's market. Others of my plants did really well, though. Carrots and lettuce went crazy. We had at least one big dinner salad each week this summer, with enough leftovers to be lunch the next day. So we worked with what we had, and I'm filling in now with farmer's market produce to shore up supplies for the winter. Because it's Fairbanks, and as cliche as it has become to say, winter <i>is</i> coming.<br />
Last day for the market is this Saturday. I'm sad, but excited too. I love autumn. All of the gorgeous colors, the different foods we're eating now. It's glorious. Here's a picture I took on a bike ride last weekend:
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkw6_Y-Y2JAK3M87FkmAHuCuINkkxVTm4LSZuGXFPuvG4hOIebYUUFh1zSCbTcfhJB7WDoYPR8Dk-iK8YIV9zlZfFZjvADHy0C59XCjsg31-hch3t5bRpp5YeKe-seL_p8mOICO-J38wpi/s1600/IMG_0309%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkw6_Y-Y2JAK3M87FkmAHuCuINkkxVTm4LSZuGXFPuvG4hOIebYUUFh1zSCbTcfhJB7WDoYPR8Dk-iK8YIV9zlZfFZjvADHy0C59XCjsg31-hch3t5bRpp5YeKe-seL_p8mOICO-J38wpi/s320/IMG_0309%5B1%5D.JPG" /></a></div>
Beautiful. I live in such a gorgeous place.<br />
That being said, we're working on eating up all of our stores of food by next May, because we're planning to move. Out of Alaska. There are so very many reasons why--Shane can get a better job in another state, I want to be closer to my parents, etc.--but it's still not an easy decision to make. I have a running "pros and cons" list in my head and it comes out about even for both moving and staying. Shane is more excited to move than I am, actually, and without his enthusiasm we would probably stay here. As it is, I'm trying to think only of the positives and not what I will miss <i>so much</i> about Fairbanks. Perhaps we'll come back to live here again someday. At the very least, we have friends here so it won't be a permanent goodbye.<br />
Right now it is definitely the busy season. I'm trying to preserve as much good, local food as possible, trying to get out for bike rides and walks as much as we can while the weather is nice (I love our bike trailer), and at the same time trying to focus on indoor pursuits. I haven't knitted, well, anything in the past two years, so I want to correct that. I've had a sweater which was half finished when I got pregnant and then realized that I wouldn't be able to wear it for about a year anyway so I never finished it. I'm doing so now. Then I want to make a couple of toddler hats (I found an adorable and warm pattern from a Norwegian woman whose last name was my maiden name--distant relative perhaps?), some baby mittens, and maybe some baby sweaters and baby boots (we'll see about the boots--she's got mukluks which would be much warmer, but will they fit during the early part of winter?), as well as some items for Christmas presents.<br />
I also interlibrary loaned a whole pile of books which I've been frantically trying to read before their assigned due dates. Most of them, I've had to request a renewal.<br />
As if all of this wasn't enough, I started a workout program on Monday. T25, so it's supposedly only 25 minutes a day. But then I have to factor in procrastination (I pick up all the toys in the living room so that I can actually workout without stepping on something potentially dangerous) and shower time. The workout is kicking my butt and just what I need to really get back into shape. Walking and biking have been great, but I need more core work and the only work my arms have gotten is lifting and carrying the babe. It's not nothing, but I'd rather not get hurt because I was neglecting to work my arms and shoulders.<br />
So that's what I've been doing the last few months. What about you? How was your summer?SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-40092719165056424782014-05-01T12:00:00.000-08:002014-05-01T12:00:56.818-08:00Meal planning when you just don't have timeI'm all about doing things the easy way these days. At least, I still want to do so much stuff, but I just don't have time. For some crazy reason, my baby actually wants me to pay attention to her and play with her. I love that ...most of the time. When we have 2 weeks of laundry piled up, crazy amounts of dishes we haven't gotten around to cleaning, a cat box that needs cleaning, a dog who's pawing at my leg to get my attention, a husband I feel like I haven't had any truly good time with lately, and a need once in a while for a little "me time" (it's important), I kinda wish I had a baby who would play by herself once in a while. It's a joke that's not really a joke in our house that Miss B won't let Mom get anything done. We've tested this. When I'm home, she has tolerance for about one chore each night. Some days, only half a chore. Ask me how many times I've finished making dinner while juggling her. Go on, ask. The answer is, pretty much any time I've made dinner since the day she was born.<br />
The other night I made dinner and, later, committed the cardinal sin of cleaning the cat box after she'd gone to bed. She woke up and immediately began screaming because, as Shane put it, "Mom wasn't within arm's reach." She's getting a little better now because she actually likes tummy time--she's somewhat mobile (enough to grab a toy that's over <i>there</i> but not yet to actually crawl or move more than a foot or two) so that's helping. God help us when she does start crawling because she's never going to be still and I know already she's going to want me to watch her wherever she goes.<br />
You're wondering why I don't do all of this when she naps. Ha! Hahahahaha!!! At the Easter potluck we went to there was another family with an 11 week old. The mom complained that their little girl had "only" taken a 2 hour nap that afternoon. I told her, if my child sleeps for more than 45 minutes I end up checking every 10 to make sure she's still breathing. It happens so rarely that she sleeps longer than half an hour. Last night, ten minutes. She took a freaking ten minute nap. >( So when I'm home and she does nap, believe me I am running around like a madwoman trying to get everything accomplished. Somehow, it's never done. I've started calling my family when I'm walking Dog and Baby (still in the carrier on my chest) because that's the only time I tend to have peace and quiet. I tried talking to one of my brothers when she was awake and about 5 minutes into the conversation he told me, "You have a very <i>loud</i> daughter." Yes, yes I do.<br />
I don't feel that all of this is an excuse to fall behind in certain areas of life, however. Like meal planning and cooking. Not even Baby + finals week (next week) is an excuse to fall behind on that. We're relying <i>slightly</i> more on convenience items (as in, I bought rather than making the graham crackers for Shane's birthday pie crust) but for the most part we're keeping on keeping on in terms of cooking whatever we can. So how do I streamline the process? That part, it turns out, is easy.<br /><br />
1. I was once told that to be a home cook you should either have a lot of recipes in your repertoire or just a few. Why? Because that makes it so much easier to meal plan without having much food waste. If you have only a few meals, you'll use the same ingredients over and over again so that they don't go bad. If you have lots of meals, you'll have plenty of recipes with which to use up the foods you buy. I am a "lots of meals" kind of person. The meals we love and make "often" don't usually get made more than once in a month. In fact, if we do plan for a meal to be repeated in less than four weeks it feels like we're having it a lot.<br />
This system gives me lots and lots of meals to choose from, and lots of ingredients to play with. So I know if I want to make one of <a href="http://www.bakedbyrachel.com/slow-cooker-chicken-tortilla-soup/">these</a> <a href="http://www2.gooseberrypatch.com/gooseberry/recipe.nsf/55e548eeef8c89b9852568d4004c5ffe/0B892409C3C3728D85257930004D9898">three</a> <a href="http://www.kevinandamanda.com/recipes/dinner/spicy-sausage-pasta.html#_a5y_p=983880">dishes</a>, I should choose one of the others as well so that I can use up the monterey jack cheese. (Usually the sausage & pasta meal with one of the soups so that we don't have too much soup in one week.) If I have leftover ham, as we recently did, oh look! Super easy to make this <a href="http://glorioussouprecipes.com/soup/ham-and-bean-soup-recipe.html">ham and white bean soup</a>. And, easy enough that the baby let me do everything but cut up the ham before I had to recruit Shane's help. (Rare. Very rare.)<br />
The other night we had no time to go to the store, but not much food that seemed to go together. Chicken? Grapes? Mayonaise? Almond slices? However, because I had so many recipes in my head it was easy to pull one out and make a delicious dinner that didn't feel hurried or scraped together. (It was <a href="http://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/curried-chicken-and-grape-salad/abc23b3a-ff10-45a0-bb0d-3e259aaeff91">curried chicken salad</a>--I added some dried cranberries too, to good effect.) And because I utilized things that were about to go bad (chicken we'd thawed for another meal the night before, grapes that would have been thrown out otherwise) we both reduced our food waste and helped keep our food budget in line.<br />
2. Use that freezer! Shane and I are really, really bad about freezer cooking. Some people are awesome at it, but we aren't. However, while we don't necessarily freeze extra meals all the time, we do freeze parts of meals. For instance, tonight we'll be pulling out some <a href="http://moneysavingmom.com/2013/02/homemade-freezer-biscuits-recipe.html#_a5y_p=904948">homemade freezer biscuits</a>. When we want some and I have time, I make a fresh batch and just rotate those into the bottom of my big bag of biscuits in the freezer. That way when I don't have time to make more (like tonight) we always have them on hand. They're super easy to pull out of the freezer to bulk up a meal. Tonight we're having bratwursts (in the freezer since our big Costco trip last summer), <a href="http://www.teeniecakes.com/roasted-parmesan-sweet-potatoes/">sweet potatoes</a>, green beans, and biscuits. It'll be a ridiculously simple meal to throw together, but hearty, filling, and yummy.<br />
We did manage to put one lifesaver into the freezer. I accidentally made way, way more filling for <a href="http://www.melskitchencafe.com/crispy-southwest-chicken-wraps/">burritos</a> than I intended to (mostly, it was the beans and rice I made too much of) so Shane and I spent a hurried half hour assembly lining them, wrapping them in foil, and tossing them into a bag in the freezer. This has been super helpful a few times when the question came up, "What are we going to do for lunch then?" Grab a burrito, as it turns out.<br />
3. Crockpot. I can't say enough good things about our Crockpot. We use it so often, and it always comes in handy. When I know we're going to have a big, crazy week I plan meals that can go into the Crockpot really fast. Not ones that are fussy (they're out there) and require putting in different ingredients at different times. No, I love the ones where you dump everything in and turn it on. I usually do all the prep the night before so that in the morning I can just pull the crock out of the fridge, put it in the heater, and turn it on. So simple.<br />
This is also how we utilize dried beans so much. I soak them overnight in the crock of the crockpot (in the fridge) and in the morning I refresh the water, put the crock in the pot and set it to low. By the time I come home in the evening the beans are soft and ready to go into whatever dish I've planned. I've never had luck just letting a soup with beans in it simmer for hours on end. They always end up somewhat crunchy and unsatisfying. <br />
4. Have the ingredients for a few quick meals on hand at all times. These are mine: chili, pasta primavera, chicken soup, lo mein, chicken fried rice. If it turns out that we didn't plan enough meals and leftovers for a particular week, or if we don't have time or even inclination to go to the store, I can pull out a meal that's easy to make. When we all came down with some awful cold earlier in the year, it was so nice to have the ingredients for chicken soup on hand. I use my mother's recipe, which I could make blindfolded in an unfamiliar kitchen, so it was a cinch to make it even when I didn't feel well. <a href="http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/10/12/the-science-of-chicken-soup/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=0">And it really does make you feel better</a>.<br />
5. Plan the easy meals. Seriously. Shane is swamped this week getting ready for finals next week, Miss B has been needier than usual (perhaps another growth spurt? a tooth getting ready to pop out?) and I've been a little anemic yet again (grr!) so I've been drained and tired. Neither of us really wants to cook. So our meal plan has been: salmon (from the freezer) and veggies (also from the freezer) one night; brats, veggies, and biscuits as stated above; BLTs; fajitas; pasta primavera. Super easy and quick meals so that we can feel slightly less overwhelmed. :)<br />
6. Make extra. Sometimes, lots of extra. For lunches, routinely, we do leftovers. It's not really much extra work (maybe a bit of extra vegetable cutting?) to make enough to have leftovers the next day, and when we're putting the meal away we just pack lunch portions for ourselves.<br />
If we know we'll have one or two nights that are super busy, we'll cook one giant meal (red beans and rice, a big soup + bread, or two-three main dishes such as chicken fried rice, egg drop soup, and stir fry) and coast on the leftovers for several days. This has seen us through finals weeks, through Hell Week when I'm doing a FLOT musical, and through the first few weeks after our parents went home after we had Miss B.<br /><br />
By the way, all of this works just as well for breakfasts. Between biking to work and breastfeeding, I need a filling breakfast every morning. But, it also has to be fast. I already put up my <a href="http://sisterx83.blogspot.com/2014/03/blueberry-oatmeal-banana-bread.html">blueberry oatmeal banana bread recipe</a>, but I mix it in with other things. When I lack time, oatmeal is always a good choice. But I measure it out and get my toppings ready the night before so that in the morning I can just add water and pop it in the microwave to cook while I feed the pets and change a diaper. When it's not my night to cook dinner and we're out of breakfast food, I'll run around making something easy and quick, like the banana bread. If I have a little more time (like, say, weekends) I'll make something more involved, such as pancakes (which can be refrigerated or frozen for quick weekday breakfasts) or muffins (can also be frozen). This has removed most of the stress from weekday mornings, and I always know that I've got a healthy breakfast waiting for me, a lunch packed up and ready in the fridge.<br />
You'd think that planning this would take time, but it doesn't. In my spare moments--walking to the bathroom at work, during my bike ride home--I'll figure out what I want to and what we should eat in the coming week. Later, I'll ask Shane's input. (It usually goes, "What do you want to cook and eat this week?" "I dunno, you pick.") What do we still have in the fridge that needs to get used and eaten? What do we have in the freezer that we should eat? Ideally, the meals I come up with utilize at least one of those components. When I actually sit down to write out the grocery list, it takes less than 10 minutes. All of this has helped to keep our grocery budget in line and to keep our sanity, even though we've added a tiny human to our household. It means we don't waste time every night trying to figure out what to eat, or getting takeout because "there's no food in the house".SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-18117591423896495912014-04-25T12:35:00.000-08:002014-04-25T12:35:15.096-08:00CyclingFinally, <i>finally!</i> I was able to start biking to work again. After being pregnant, then recovering from the c-section, and finally breaking my wrist, this feels long overdue. But I'm recovered from it all, the wrist brace came off, and the snow is mostly melted now. I hopped on my bike Monday morning, elated, and by the time I got halfway to work my legs were burning and my lungs were working overtime. What the heck? This was before the hill I had to conquer, too. I had thought I was in pretty decent shape once again. Sure, I've been avoiding push-ups while my wrist was healing, but I've been running on weekends and doing what I think of as my "baby weight exercises" on weeknights. That is, on weeknights I've been doing any and all exercises I can do while holding or at least involving my daughter: squats (60, with the 14-15ish pound weight of my baby), lunges (30-50, each side, again with the baby), leg lifts that I could do while smiling at and talking to my girl. She's enjoyed these times more than I have, since she wasn't pushing herself to do more. :)<br />
So I was <i>very</i> surprised when I found myself so out of biking shape on Monday. As soon as I started up the hill, I was gasping for air. I downshifted, I pushed through even though my thighs were burning. And I did make it to the top, but my legs felt like jelly. Over the course of the day, my rear end got saddle-sore as well, but that was expected. I kept telling myself not to feel bad, that I'll get back into biking shape again soon. I mentioned on Facebook that I'd started biking again and a friend reminded me that that hill gets easier pretty fast.<br />
It wasn't until the end of the day, during my ride home (I get to go "Wheeeeee!" down that hill) when I was trying to take my mind off of how sore my butt was that I realized: the first summer I got this job, when I first started biking up that hill, I couldn't make it. I had to stop halfway up and walk the rest of the way. I got better quick enough, but still. The fact is, I couldn't make it all the way up for nearly the first month of biking that hill. I further realized that, though my legs had felt rubbery that morning, that went away quickly. By the time I rode home, other than my sore backside, I was feeling great. Even after everything I listed in that second sentence (having a kid, recovering from an emergency c-section, breaking my wrist) I'm in better shape than I was five years ago. This is something that most people can't say, even without throwing in major abdominal surgery.<br />
I felt like crap riding in that day, but I rode home smiling and feeling proud of myself. And my friend was right, by the next day I already had an easier time getting up that hill.<br />SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-15544067900734372192014-04-15T12:14:00.000-08:002014-04-15T12:14:40.896-08:00Life, the Universe, and EverythingOk, I'm not really going to talk about the Universe. I lied. But I do have a bunch of other cool, and some not-so-cool, things to talk about on varying subjects.<br />
As you may have noticed, I really haven't written much lately. Turns out, becoming a mom has taken away much of my free time. I would have more if my child napped with any consistency or for any length, but she doesn't so I don't. *shrug* What time I do have is usually spent catching up on chores, or just reading. You never realize how much mental energy it takes to keep up with a child and work full-time until you have to do it. Add in tax season and craziness at work (annual evaluations with a completely crazy supervisor, woo) and I've been feeling a little overwhelmed. But in some ways, it's brought me to a good place. It's all forced me to take a good look at my wants and needs, to figure out what is unnecessary stress in my life. Take my garden, for instance. What will be the most satisfying for me? Well, obviously I want to still garden. But, fighting with the weeds and grass in the actual dirt area we have isn't working for me any more. I don't have the time, and I don't have the money to make it right. So this year I'm focusing solely on my garden boxes. However, I am willing to put more time and money into those than I have been. Since they're also the most productive part of my garden, the ROI should be pretty good. And I don't have to stress about what I haven't been doing.<br />
The other benefit of the garden boxes is that they're portable. It sounds like we'll have to move out of our place sometime soon. We were really hoping to stay here until we move out of Alaska (sometime next summer-Shane just found out that he'll finish his degree next Spring!) but there's been a change of regime. Our old landlord sold the duplex, and the new landlady wants to move in downstairs. For now, they've moved in upstairs. Apparently the plan is to fix up the upstairs (to try to rent it out for an exorbitant and crazy amount - $2500!!!) and then move downstairs, where we currently are. She hasn't given us a good timeline, so we're just trying to find something before we're forced to take something at the last minute. Bleh. Again, though, it's making us look around at our Stuff. What's necessary, what isn't? We might have to rent a smaller place, so what can/should we take with us and what should be gotten rid of? I'm paring down the baby stuff a bit (clothes which we were given but won't re-use for a second child, some of the baby blankets which we don't need) and I'm even going through a formerly untouchable category: my books. The idea is to pare down before we actually have to pack it all up.<br />
We have also gained some things recently, however. One of Shane's relatives bought a couch (on clearance) which she didn't like when she got it home. So she bought another couch, and needed to get rid of this one. She gave it to us. Yay! We actually have a decent couch now! We got rid of the second half of our horrible, ugly, broken Cat Pee Couch (seriously, we discovered when we moved it that the cat had been peeing in one corner--thankfully, it was so uncomfortable that we never sat on it!) and put this lovely new couch in its place.<br />
Our upstairs neighbors have moved out, since the new landlady is moving up there. Someone rang our doorbell by accident asking about a piece of furniture that they were selling, and that gave me an idea. The next time I saw them I asked if they had an old T.V. stand that they'd be willing to sell to me. The answer was, "Please, just take it! We don't want money for it, we just don't want to haul it away." So I got a free T.V. stand, in decent shape, to replace the rickety little bookshelf that our T.V. had been sitting on. Thus, we got rid of my biggest babyproofing worry: that she would pull the T.V. over on herself when she starts crawling and pulling herself up to stand. We'll attach the T.V. to the stand so that she can't pull just it over, but now we don't have to worry about the bookshelf and the T.V. falling over. The stand is nice and low and sturdy, just what we wanted. And, just like the couch it was at the right price: free.<br />
In addition to the T.V. stand, one of the neighbors is a liquor distributor and didn't want to move a bunch of half empty tasting bottles he had around. So, he gave them to us. Yep, you read that right. Free booze. And not even a small amount, either. We're not talking bottom shelf liquor, but good stuff, and not all of it has been opened. At my household's normal rate of consumption this is more than 6 months worth of liquor, even assuming we throw a party or two (or bring some along to other parties). I used some of the vodka straight away to make vanilla extract, since I'd been meaning to buy vodka for that purpose for the last month but always forgot. Now, I don't have to worry about it for quite a while.<br />
We went to <a href="http://www.arcticman.com/">Arctic Man</a> over the weekend. For me, it really wasn't that interesting. It can be summed up by "A tribute to the decadence of the first world." Or "fat men on snowmachines who think they're <i>so sporty</i>...because they can ride a machine real fast." Ugh. Not my scene at all. the wastefulness of it all, the amount of oil that was burned just in this one weekend. Not to mention everything else. Because people were camped out, a lot of them scoured Craigslist for free couches that they didn't mind having around a campfire. And on the last night, all those couches got burned so that people didn't have to haul them out. !!!! Yeah, you can probably imagine what I felt about that. Then there were all of the motorhomes, and I'm sure lots of food waste and packaging and whatnot. I went for a walk with the baby at one point and a girl on a 4-wheeler stopped and asked me if I wanted a ride. She looked at me as if I was crazy. After all, who would want to <i>walk</i>, right? I said no, of course, and she said, "Oooo-kaaaay," as if she totally didn't get it. Wow. Just wow.<br />
Anyway, we went because my in-laws were going with some friends, and my FIL hasn't seen the baby since New Year's. Unfortunately, she was mildly ill most of the weekend and, especially with the new circumstances, just wanted to be with me the whole weekend. Oh well. But the in-laws were also about to take a trip to Hawaii so they'd brought up a bunch of food for us. A lasagna, a ham (part of which was eaten there), some milk, and a bunch of fruit. Banana bread. So our food bill should be almost non-existent this week, which is nice, especially since we came home to a sick cat.<br />
I took Monday off anyway to watch the ill baby (just a precaution) and myself (I was feeling under the weather too, I just didn't realize it until we got home), so making a vet appointment when I discovered that our cat was peeing blood (I know! poor guy!) wasn't as hectic as it could have been. Still, forcing the cat into the kennel (with gloves on) and taking him to the vet, yowling the whole way, and with the baby, wasn't the most pleasant of activities. I think I need to talk to my child about being kind to animals, though, because she thought his cries of distress were pretty hilarious.<br />
Thankfully, it is *just* a bladder infection. His kidneys seem fine, and the peeing blood should stop within 48 hours. I wish I could tell him that. He might be more willing to take his medicine that way.<br />
So, life goes on. You win some, you lose some. For the most part, things have been going really well for us. Finding out that Shane only has one more year of school was a huge, huge plus. We're nervous and excited because we're not sure where life will take us after that, but it will be good. I'm certain of it.SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-33571429901574494602014-03-20T15:30:00.001-08:002014-10-02T11:08:09.677-08:00Blueberry Oatmeal Banana BreadThis has become my new favorite breakfast. I really don't like bananas. In fact, they're one of the few foods I'll say that I pretty much hate, with the caveat <i>unless they're in something</i>. Then, the other flavors tend to mask at least most of the banana flavor and I can stand them.<br />
You can imagine Shane's surprise, last time we were at the store together, when I put two big bunches of bananas into our cart. "Miss I-Hate-Bananas, <i>you're</i> picking up bananas?" Yep. Because this is seriously the best breakfast.<br /><br />
Blueberry Oatmeal Banana Bread<br /><br />
(<a href="http://www.ambitiouskitchen.com/2012/02/low-fat-oatmeal-blueberry-banana-bread/">adapted from this recipe</a>)<br /><br />
3 very ripe bananas, mashed to oblivion<br />
1 large egg<br />
1/2 cup dark brown sugar, or honey (both work well)<br />
1 tsp vanilla extract<br />
1 cup whole wheat flour<br />
1 generous cup oats<br />
1/2 tsp baking soda<br />
1/4 tsp baking powder<br />
1/2 tsp cinnamon<br />
1/4-1/2 tsp nutmeg (optional, but delicious)<br />
Frozen blueberries, preferably wild, until you think "that's blue enough", about 1 cup<br /><br />
Preheat oven to 350.
Mash the bananas, then mix in the wet ingredients, then the dry ingredients into the wet, then finally the blueberries (gently) into everything else. Bake in a greased loaf pan for 1 hour.<br /><br />
In the mornings I cut generous slices, slather them with butter, and microwave them for 30-45 seconds to make the butter melt. It's heavenly, and actually not too bad for you.<br /><br /><br />
Update: Since originally writing this post, I've messed around a little more and made a lactation-friendly version to help support breastfeeding moms like me. Or just, you know, to add a bit more healthful stuff in if you like. So for this, you'll want to add 1 Tbsp nutritional yeast and 1 Tbsp flax, plus either an extra 1/2 a banana or 1/4 cup milk.<br />
I have also reduced the amount of sugar or honey to 1/4 cup and didn't notice a difference in sweetness.SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-70143974262510583192014-03-20T15:18:00.000-08:002014-03-20T15:18:06.043-08:00So, how's it going?Every day is a whirlwind for us. Especially the evenings. We've fallen into a routine, but that doesn't mean the routine is particularly easy. For at least 1 1/2-2 hours in the evening, it seems like <i>everything</i> needs to get done. Dinner needs to be made, breakfast (if I'm making something baked) needs to be made, pets need to be fed, baby always needs to be fed and have a diaper change, it seems, which leads to realizing that we're totally out of diapers and so a load of laundry needs to be started, the overflowing dishes need to be done because the cook needs <i>that item right there</i> and all the space the dishes are taking up, the cat box needs to be cleaned out, some spill (or spitup) needs to be cleaned up and, oh crap, is it a bath night? Hurry hurry hurry! When we were in the midst of this the other night Shane paused and asked, "Do you remember when we used to relax in the evenings?"<br />
Which is not to say that we don't relax. It might seem crazy for a short amount of time, but the before and after are quite nice. It's been warm enough in the afternoons to go for a decent walk when I get home from work. I strap baby into the Ergo, leash up the dog, make sure I'm wearing my ice cleats, and off we go for about half an hour. It's lovely. Miss B(aby) tends to suck her pacifier and keep her serious face on during the walks. I was a little worried that she wasn't enjoying them until Shane pointed out that not once in her life has she ever hesitated to tell us, quite loudly and vocally, when she wasn't enjoying something. Too, she tends to put on her serious face whenever she's trying to take in a lot. She's the same way at the grocery store, but she's also very quiet and well behaved so she must enjoy it at least a bit.<br />
The reason I mentioned my ice cleats is because, well, I broke my wrist a couple of weeks ago. I know I mentioned before that it was already hurting and I was starting to suspect a stress fracture. Well, I fell on it one day when I took the dog for a short walk (for which the dog is totally to blame), and then slipped and fell on it again later in the same week. It hurt bad enough that a couple days after that I decided to go to the urgent care clinic. I have, according to the doctor, a buckle fracture in my left wrist. So I need to wear a hard brace for 6 weeks (I talked the doctor out of making me see an orthopedist to get it casted) and I'm already sick of it. This is all exactly what we needed, more medical bills and for me to not be at 100% again. I'm somewhat annoyed with my dog (I had the baby in the Ergo when I was tripped, and she nearly fell out), but then I have to remind myself that she's an old lady and she tripped me not on purpose, but just because she was so damn happy and excited to be out for a walk. She's going blind, and we think she's starting to go deaf as well. Poor dear, she didn't know what she was doing. Her life has changed, she's not getting all of the walks and runs and attention from me that she's used to. Sometimes that's hard to remember.<br />
After the crazy part of the evening, though I need to be with her (still) for her to sleep, Miss B is usually asleep sometime between 8:30-9:15. After she's asleep I read, with her snuggled up against my side, until I get sleepy and then curl up with her and go almost instantly to sleep. It's hard to complain about that.<br />
As crazy as life at home has been, life at work has been even worse, filled with uncertainty and, frankly, having to deal with crazy people and crazy ideas. I won't go into it, because this isn't the right time or place, but it's been stressful, annoying, and just plain hard to deal with at times. It makes leaving my baby every day that much harder.<br />
As if everything else wasn't quite enough, our duplex was purchased and, though we'd been told by the realtor that the new owner wanted to keep renting to us, I met the new owner this past week and she said that she'd like to move into our unit, not the upstairs as we'd been originally told. When I asked for a timeline she said "one to six months, I'm not sure." Oh goodie. Apparently she's going to fix up the upstairs unit a bit first, while living there, and then move downstairs. So, Shane and I were hoping that we could stay in this place until we moved out of Alaska and it doesn't look like that's going to happen. *sigh* We're trying to figure out what our options are.<br />
You'd think that life would have slowed down a little bit this week, because it's spring break here, but not really. Shane gets to be home with Miss B during the days, but that just means that he needs some time to himself in the evenings. I do get tomorrow off, though, so I'm trying to hang onto my 3 day weekend. I'm sure it will go by far too fast, to be in proportion with how long this relatively short work week has felt.<br />
The very big "however" to all of this is that I'm still managing to take care of myself pretty well. In fact, now that I'm pretty much totally recovered from the c-section, I'm doing my best to put myself first once in a while. I've started running regularly again! Just on weekends, but it's still progress, and last weekend I was actually able to extend one of my runs, so I'm getting back into shape. I carve this time out for myself when I get the baby back to sleep on weekend mornings. I lay her down with Shane (who's either sleeping in or very happy to have an excuse to nap himself) and then I lace up, grab the dog, and go. If I'm really, really lucky, she'll sleep long enough to let me do a few other exercises (like core exercises), stretch, and take a shower. Ok, that really only happened once so by lucky I mean, in my fantasies.<br />
When Breakup really starts and the snow has melted a bit more, when Baby Girl is big enough to go in the jogger, I'll start adding weeknight runs into the rotation. For now, we'll stick with our walks on weeknights. That's about my pace in the evenings, after work. Just enough time and distance to get the benefits of exercise, without it feeling like exercise.<br />
I'm losing the weight I wanted to lose, and though it seems slow to me, it really isn't. I'm losing about the pound/week that's recommended as a healthy pace. And the best part is that I'm not depriving myself at all. Our birthdays are at the beginning of March and this year I made a <a href="http://cookiesandcups.com/skillet-chocolate-chip-cookie/">giant skillet cookie</a> for my birthday, and a <a href="http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/emeril-lagasse/key-lime-pie-recipe.html">key lime pie</a> for Shane's. (See in the pie recipe how it's supposed to be two layers? Yeah, I need to learn to read directions when I'm trying a new recipe. I mixed it all up together and then realized what I'd done. So I tossed in an extra egg and hoped for the best. It still turned out great!) I've since made the skillet cookie again, and I probably will make it again this weekend. It's so much sugar but damn, it's tasty. Even Shane, not normally a fan of cookies, loves it.<br />
I've gotta say, drinking a big glass of whole milk most days is helping me with my weight loss. I'll feel a bit hungry after dinner, drink my milk, and still usually be a bit hungry but not so much that I feel the need to eat. Just as good, I've noticed that it helps with <i>my</i> milk production. And, with a broken wrist, the extra calcium is doing me some good.<br />
So life is crazy, but for the most part I am enjoying it. Baby Girl has learned to laugh, so Shane and I spend a good portion of our time trying to get her to laugh some more. Just as there are no diminishing returns on the humor of baby farts, baby giggles solve all problems and make life infinitely better.SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-70247945919421733122014-03-04T17:01:00.000-09:002014-03-04T17:01:00.608-09:00Things I want my daughter to knowI've been thinking a lot over the last year about what I'd want my child to know. Some of these things are specifically because she is a girl, and will have to deal with a world which can be much harsher to the "fairer sex". Some of it is just what I hope any child will grow up knowing.<br />
Shane and I talked about this briefly a while ago. When I said that my number one hope for our girl is that she grows up to be a good person, he pshawed. But, I pointed out, I have no doubt that she will be intelligent and pretty and all of that. So what do I most want to teach her? To be a good person. I think the following things might help with that. Here's my list of life lessons I want her to know, and approximate ages that I hope she'll at least have a grasp on the concept.<br /><br />
<b>From the beginning</b>: I want her to know that she's loved. Not just in the "oh, they're my parents so they have to love me" sort of way. I mean deep down in her bones, in the depths of her soul, as her first and last thought every day. Not every child is lucky enough to receive such love, and it breaks my heart. I am so in awe of this tiny, wonderful person I made and birthed. I hope she grows up secure in how much her family loves her. This is the start of self-confidence, which she will need in this big crazy world. I have stated before that one part of having a high needs baby is that she's already strong willed, and no one's pushover. I hope she keeps that all her life, and that our love for her will give her the confidence she needs to not back down when she's knows she's right, and to reach out to help others when they need it.<br /><br />
<b>By elementary school</b>: Damn those post-pregnancy hormones! My emotions are more raw now than when I was pregnant. I was listening to the Pandora "Lullabies" station the other day and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCgDgJsTR_w">the song from "Dumbo" came on</a>. You might not remember it, but I always thought it was such a sad lullabye. In fact, I never liked that movie much because I knew I'd cry at that scene. So here I am, nursing my daughter and listening to this song. It hit me, powerfully, that one day in the not-too-distant future, someone will make fun of my perfect, wonderful little girl. It will hurt her and there's nothing I can do about it. More than that, though, I felt a sense of companionship with every other mother, ever. No child escapes being ridiculed by <i>somebody</i>, and every mother feels it just as keenly as their child does*. I thought back to elementary school, and what jerks we were. Of course, there was one kid everyone picked on. Brian. He peed his pants in first grade and that was an unforgivable offense, especially since he was kind of shy and weird anyway. Now that I'm older, I wonder what his home life was like. I actually wonder a lot about him. Whatever happened to him? I have no memories of him after middle school. But I do know that he was picked on and shunned and bullied for all of his school days that I saw. Even worse, I participated. I wasn't the worst, not even what you'd call a bully. But I took part in the shunning and laughed at the mockery. Now I can't get out of my head how many evenings his mom must have spent comforting him, telling him that things would get better. At least, I hope she did. For all the hell his schooldays put him through, I hope he had (has) awesome parents to make up for it. And wherever he is, I sincerely wish Brian well. I hope that life got better for him, and the people around him more understanding.<br />
Just as much as I can't stop other kids from making fun of my girl, I can't stop her from at least occasionally being a jerk to other kids. That hurts too. Because every mom feels just the way I do right now, that their child is the best and most perfect being ever. We should feel that way! Certainly our babies deserve it, because they are beautiful and wonderful and perfect. My girl might not understand this lesson until she's older, but I'm going to try to carry it with me. To be more forgiving and understanding and just plain nicer to everyone I encounter. If nothing else, I can lead by example.<br />
Going along with that, I hope she has empathy for others. There are plenty of ways to <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=how+to+teach+your+child+empathy&oq=how+to+teach+your+child+empathy&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l2.4431j0j7&sourceid=chrome&espv=210&es_sm=93&ie=UTF-8">help your child learn empathy</a> and I'm already starting some of them. I think that one of the benefits for kids who grow up with pets is that they learn early lessons about other creatures having feelings of their own. So when I help her pet the cat or the dog I talk to her about not only how soft they are, but also how they feel about being petted. (And I praise them hugely for letting the baby touch them.) If the cat backs away from us I talk about how he's not in the mood to be petted right now. Baby Girl might not yet be vocal, but I want to get myself into the habit of showing her the thoughts and perspectives of other creatures.<br />
I want her to have a basic grasp on manners. Not just please and thank you, but actual respect for others which manners are meant to show.<br /><br />
<b>By middle school</b>: This is such a tough age. Puberty and hormones, oh my! Through it all, I want her to know that she's beautiful. There are so many distorted ideas about women's and girls' bodies in the media, including people who think that beauty doesn't matter. It does. I want my girl to know that she's beautiful. Not that she's super hot, or glamorous, but it is important for her to know that she's pretty. And I mean <i>her</i>. I want her to know that makeup can be fun but isn't necessary (and that too much is awful). I want her to understand that there's much more to life than being fashionable, and that clothes which suit her matter the most. This all goes back to self-confidence. I want her to know these things because, for so many of us, puberty is an awful time and most kids look painfully awkward during this time. Even if that's the case with her (as it was for me--glasses and braces on a late bloomer with too-long, unkempt hair? yeah...) she deserves to know that it's just a phase and that she is, and will be, beautiful.<br />
Along with her beauty, however, I want her to know that she is strong. Exercise was never really emphasized in my house growing up, but I think it would have helped my self esteem a lot more if it had been. I became used to thinking that I couldn't do things, when in fact I could have if I'd just tried. It's taken me many years to get over that attitude so I hope that Baby Girl never has it to begin with.<br />
This is also the stage when I think we'll start mandating that she cook, or help cook, dinner every once in a while. I think it's important for every adult to know the basics of how to feed themselves without resorting to a box. She will grow up cooking and baking with me (in fact, we baked <a href="http://cookiesandcups.com/skillet-chocolate-chip-cookie/">our first cookie</a> together this past weekend!) but this is when I'll feel comfortable letting her have more, er, solo flights in the kitchen. I started baking bread by myself when I was 12. Yep, there were plenty of failures. Like the time I killed the yeast? Or the one I put in way, way too much salt. Or the time I did both of those things. Ha! I look forward to seeing what kitchen disasters my little girl comes up with.<br />
Going along with this, I want her to have a basic understanding of building and fixing things. I mentally thank my dad a lot for teaching me how to swing a hammer and use a screwdriver. It gives me confidence to attempt new projects, and to figure out how something works so that I can fix it myself. And, as a woman, it's fucking beautiful to not have to depend on a man to do these things for me. I want her to be just as capable.<br /><br />
<b>By high school</b>: Most parents dread teenage rebellion. You know what? I welcome it. I want her to test boundaries (safely), and to get into some trouble, and learn life lessons. More than any other time of life, this is when kids start figuring out who they want to be. Good! I want her to try many things, and fail at plenty of them. She'll find what works best for her, and what her deepest interests are, that way.<br />
I also want her to have a basic grasp on finances. I don't mean of the "how to balance a checkbook" variety. (Does anyone under 40 actually still do that?) Monitoring finances is important, but it's one small part of a much larger picture. I want her to understand that expenses trump income any time when it comes to building wealth (that is, keep your expenses low and save the rest) and the best ways to utilize her money.<br />
I don't want or expect riches from her. Wealth yes, but not Scrooge McDuck status. I just want her to have the independence which comes from not needing to work for a terrible boss, or to make hard choices because of money. I also want her to know the joys of being generous with others, which is a lot easier when you have a firm grasp on your finances.<br />
I want her to think critically. I don't want her to take things at face value, including what she learns in school. So much of it is actually wrong, or interpreted in such a way that it changes your understanding of a situation. It's up to her to look at the actual facts, or dig deeper into a text, and figure out how she thinks/feels about it all.<br />
I want her to invest in her health. We will, of course, try to instill healthy eating habits in her, and get her into sports, and lead by example in these things. However, by high school I hope that she'll be doing these things not because we want her to, but for herself. It's really, truly hard for most high schoolers to recognize just how young they are, but the things we all do at that age have lifelong consequences. I hope we can show her enough of the long view so that she doesn't take youthful health for granted and instead cherishes it and takes care of herself.<br /><br />
<b>By college</b>: Ok, so maybe she won't go to college. I hope she will, not because I think it's so necessary for a good job or a good life, but because I want her to have a lifelong enjoyment of learning. I also think that there are life lessons which college teaches that you don't necessarily get (or get in a harsher way) in "the real world". My family has a long tradition of going to college (even my grandmother went to college, which not many women did in the '40s) and I would like her to continue this for truly intangible reasons. There is a benefit in education for the sake of education, and I think that we've lost sight of that in our society and especially in current conversations about whether college is worthwhile or not.<br />
One of the opportunities you don't really get outside of college is to study abroad. Shane and I are disappointed in ourselves for not pursuing it when we had the opportunity. We cited how expensive it is, and worried about trying to go somewhere together, or what it would do to our relationship if we had gone separate places. We should have just done it. There are things about other countries that you simply can't learn by visiting. To go, to immerse yourself in another culture and truly live there, is a special thing. I will very much encourage her to do so.<br />
Whether she goes to college or not, I really want to show her that a car is not a necessity. In fact, it's a fitness destroying, lazy-making money pit. I find it a pity that so many people are so dependent upon their cars. I used to have a roommate who would drive <i>two blocks</i> to go get cigarettes from the gas station. I'm still in awe of that. I hope my daughter is more dependent upon herself and her own strength to get around than she ever will depend upon a car.<br /><br />
<b>Eventually</b>: I want her to know true love. I'm sure most people want this for their kids. But what I want for her is not some fairytale, storybook romance. I mean true love; the kind where you have fights that can last a couple of days without thinking that it's all over, where you see something funny and your first thought is of how much your partner would laugh, where spending an evening in with them is just as fun and exciting as all the nights you ever went clubbing and bar-hopping. I don't care if it's with a man or a woman. (I might find it a little hard if it's with a space alien, but for different reasons.) Even if the relationship ends, I want her to know what that's like at least once in her life. Of course, I do hope she ends up happily married. And yes, I do hope she opts for marriage because I think there are many benefits to marriage, and a different sort of commitment than just "living together". (Not to mention all the legal and tax ramifications, oy.)<br />
I also hope that she chooses to become a mother one day. Why? For one very simple reason: because I feel like I understand the world so much better now. I mentioned above when I felt a kinship with every other mother on the planet. How many other life experiences help you to feel that way? I also understand my own mother so much better than I did before I was one. The intense love, unlike any other. I don't want to diminish my love for Shane, who is and always will be the love of my life, but I never knew I could be in love with another creature the way I am with my baby.<br />
The highs in life are higher now that she's here. When I hear her laugh...words cannot describe it. When she cries, part of me cries too. And things which wouldn't have touched me so deeply before now do. I read an article the other day about all the new gadgets which are being marketed to parents which play on fears of SIDS, and in it they discussed a device which needed to be recalled after a couple of babies got tangled in the cords during their sleep and strangled to death. That sentence was hard even to write. When I read about these deaths, I actually gasped aloud. I just can't even imagine what that would be like. Before having a child, I understood the pain in the same way I imagined it to be painful if one of my siblings died, without having to experience it myself. This...is so much more. With the intense love comes the intense pain. But, I wouldn't want her to shy away from romance because of the possibility of a broken heart. Neither do I think she should avoid motherhood for the same reason. Being a mom is worth it.<br /><br />
There are many, many other lessons that I want her to learn, and skills I want her to have. How to read (and I mean truly <i>read</i>, the way I was taught as an English major to pull everything possible out of a text) and write well, how to speak, optimism, etc. But this short list will do for a silly blog post.<br /><br /><br />
*I feel the need to clarify: yes, I do understand that there are shitty moms out there. I'm not referring to them, as that's a whole different topic.SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-63713175391459563352014-02-18T16:45:00.000-09:002014-02-19T09:19:18.164-09:00High needs babyHaving a <a href="http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/fussy-baby/high-need-baby/12-features-high-need-baby">high needs baby</a> means that there will be lots of nights with everyone crying, usually because of over-exhaustion on everyone's part. Having a high needs baby means that breastfeeding is more like an Olympic sport. Sometimes that sport is gymnastics, sometimes hockey. Having a high needs baby means that the pitiful cries of other children are easily tuned out, with the shrill demands of your own offspring echoing in your head. Having a high needs baby means that, most days, no one but Mom will do and woe to everyone if Mom has to work. Having a high needs baby means that, most days, more will be asked of you than you think you can handle. It means that you can never satisfy baby's needs fast enough to suit her, and you will hear about it. Having a high needs baby means that you don't get lovely long naps in a crib, or even time to yourself to pee. Having a high needs baby means that you will live in perpetual fear of someone (or something) startling the baby awake. It means that you will learn to do everything one-handed, because you have to hold the baby in the other arm, and it will not be uncommon to have your child in your arms for 23 out of 24 hours. They will protest that other hour. Having a high needs baby means that, once they do something once, they expect to do it again and get frustrated easily. You will hear about this frustration.<br />
Having a high needs baby can make you feel like you are no longer yourself.<br />
Having a high needs baby means that you are everything to them, and you will cherish those cuddles, even when they seem never-ending. Having a high needs baby means that everyone comments on how bright-eyed and alert your baby is, as she drinks in the world around her. Having a high needs baby means that she will always demand what is due to her; she's nobody's pushover, this girl. Having a high needs baby means that she is intelligent, quick, and learns to do things earlier than other children. It means having a child who is <i>so excited</i> about life that she doesn't want to miss another minute of it by sleeping. Having a high needs baby means that her smiles, which come easily, are just as big as her cries, and twice as memorable. Having a high needs baby keeps you on your toes, and life will never be dull. Having a high needs baby makes you fully understand what you are capable of, what reserves of strength are available to you, and when you need to get some help. Having a high needs baby breaks you down and builds you up better.<br />
Having a high needs baby isn't easy. Some days I just feel like I'm going batty. I've had weekends where, from the time I got home from work on Friday until I left for work Monday morning, she hasn't been out of my arms for more than about 5 hours total, including nights. Try getting <i>anything</i> done that way, I dare you. I suspect that I have stress fractures in both of my wrists from holding her. (I haven't confirmed with the doctor because it would be a very expensive appointment to hear what I know already: wear a brace and rest your wrists.) And my first statement was particularly true: there have been plenty of nights that end with both of us in tears as we wail at each other. (I seem to be the only one who feels guilty afterwards for my display of temper.) But, being Mom to a high needs baby is also really rewarding, and I wanted to remind myself of that since this has been a particularly rough week. I mentioned before that she fit 8 out of 12 things on the Dr. Sears list I linked to above, but now that she's 3 months old she's fitting ALL of those categories. That's my baby, classic overachiever. But, her desire to get the most out of life also led her to learn to roll over last weekend, a bit shy of 3 months. She really does smile a lot, and though she doesn't <i>quite</i> laugh yet, I know that when she does it will be with the abandon of true joy. Her smiles and almost-giggles make up for the hours of frustration.SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-83299291675728473542014-02-14T12:30:00.000-09:002014-02-14T12:30:06.228-09:00PumpingThis is actually a post I told myself I wasn't going to write. There are so. many. freaking. mommyblogs that talk about pumping, and breastfeeding in general. And it's great! I love that so much of this information is available now.<br />
BUT, even with the prevalence of blogs talking about pumping, some of the information which helped me the most <i>still</i> took me a while to find. I've made no secret of the fact that Baby and I had a rough start to breastfeeding, and it made me very nervous to only be pumping during the weekdays, since that can decrease supply. But things are going really well so far, especially after I did some research, not only online but also asking people I know and love for their advice. One of my cousins pumped so much extra milk that she literally donated <i>gallons</i> of breastmilk to her local breastmilk bank (seriously, she posted pics to Facebook that made me envious), not just once but several times.<br />
So, after all of my research and asking, here's what's helped me the most and a few facts which might be hard to find.<br />
First, there's the amount you pump at a given time. So many of the blogs with posts about pumping show pictures with two VERY full bottles. Like, 5 ounces in each. Or more. This can make the rest of us feel a little inadequate in our pumping. However, most of these women are pumping <i>full time</i>. If you start off with only pumping (and there are a variety of reasons why women need to do this) then your body will begin to respond to the pump as if it's your child and you'll get a lot more from the pump at any given time. For the rest of us, our bodies don't like the pump as much because they know what it's like to have a baby suckling, and the pump is just second best. It is perfectly normal to only get a few ounces each time you pump. On a really good day, and if I've had to push off pumping for a little while so that my boobs feel like they're going to burst, I can get a bit over four ounces. (I would show a picture here, but my iPod died so I don't have a camera handy.) I think the most I ever pumped at one time was about 5 ounces, total. And this is fine! Don't expect to fill up both bottles each time. I aim for eight ounces each workday, and just cheer for myself if I happen to get more.<br />
It is perfectly normal to get more milk from one boob than from the other. Again, you'll see all kinds of pictures online of perfectly even bottles completely full of breastmilk. Again, these tend to be from full-time pumping moms. For the rest of us, baby drank from one boob after the other, and and boob #2 might not have filled up as much in the intervening time. Or one side just plain doesn't respond to the pump as well. One of my boobs literally squirts milk for the pump, and the other tends to have more of a slow dripping leak for the pump. THIS IS NORMAL.<br />
You might not leak at all. I saw so many things about how you NEED to get breastpads so that leaking doesn't seep through your shirt. This has never really come true for me. I've had noticeable leakage a grand total of four times, and each of those times I was at home, feeding my baby on the other side. Even for women who start off leaking, this sometimes stops after baby and body adjust to each other. Leaking doesn't necessarily mean you're a super breastmilk making machine, and not leaking doesn't necessarily mean that you're not making enough milk. Don't worry.<br />
If you're breastfeeding the rest of the time, you might produce less at the end of the week than you did at the beginning. That's ok, if you breastfeed all weekend (even better if you can fit in a pumping session or two) then it'll be sky-high again on Monday. I tend to get 9 1/2 ounces on Monday, and by Friday I'm a bit under 8 ounces total. Sometimes even down around 6 ounces. It all works out, though, and if I can pump a bit over the weekend I can leave 8 fresh ounces in the fridge for Monday.<br />
Big boobs do not necessarily mean big nipples, and small boobs don't necessarily mean small nipples, and the flanges that come with the pump usually fit a little less than half of all women. If you have an improperly fitted flange, you'll regret it. I ended up buying new flanges after Christmas because I'd end up sore after using the pump. Turns out, I'm in the small group of women who actually needed smaller flanges. Since my boobs are normally an overly-large D, and I don't even know what monstrous size they are now (I've been using sizeless bras), that was a bit of a surprise. But pumping is no longer in the least painful and I get a lot more than I was, so I've clearly found the right size for me.<br />
Move the flanges around while you're pumping. My cousin mentioned that no one had told her this the first time around, but having the flanges always in the same places, putting pressure on the same spots, can set you up for mastitis. Ew.<br />
While pumping, many people say to massage the breasts. In my mind, this implies lots of movement, which doesn't work for me. What I do is, after milk stops freely running out, run my thumbs down from the direction of my armpits and wait until I see milk coming out again. (It usually doesn't take long the first time.) I stop there and just hold pressure on that spot until the milk stops flowing. I keep doing this from various directions (working down the sides of my boobs, back up toward my armpits, a little bit on the insides and undersides of my boobs, then back up to my armpits again, etc.) and it's made a noticeable difference. Once I get all the milk I can this way, I move on to....<br />
Hand expression. You'll probably need to do some hand-expression after pumping. I thought it was just me who still felt pretty full after pumping, but I'm not alone. Most women can get quite a bit more from hand expression. (I generally get at least half an ounce, and could get more if not for the time involved.) And if you're feeling like it's painfully slow to hand express milk, don't worry. You get much faster. (If you don't know how to hand express, there are lots of videos on Youtube.) I've found that the best way to do it is actually to switch off between breasts. I do two, er, squeezes on one side, then two on the other, etc. For some reason, having a bit of a rest in between makes everything so much easier.<br />
Getting enough sleep is also crucial. If you're tired, your body is going to prioritize taking care of you. So get enough sleep. With Baby Girl, now that I'm working she wakes me up a bit more often to eat because she doesn't eat as much during the day as she would if I was home. On weekends, when she has free access to me all day, I get woken up once. During the week, it's usually two times, but sometimes even four wake-up calls. So we start getting ready for bed by about 9:30 so that I can get enough sleep, and so that she's not a tired mess when I hand her off to Shane the next morning.<br />
A lot has been written about what you should eat and avoid while breastfeeding and/or pumping. Oats are great, yes. I realize there's no scientific proof that it works, but it does seem to help me. I mean, I ate oatmeal the day my milk finally came in (a few hours later), and this isn't proof but...yeah, I'm a believer.<br />
But the one thing that I didn't really see mentioned in all those lists of what to eat is just an incredibly simple rule: eat a high protein diet. Milk is made of three basic components: water, fat, and protein. Of course it's got all the other good minerals and vitamins and whatnot that your baby needs in it, but the bulk of it is composed of those three things. Everyone emphasizes drinking lots of water, and unless you're under-weight your body has plenty of fat to provide, but I was puzzled for a long time as to why I still wasn't producing much milk even while drinking what felt like gallons. We tend more toward a plant-based diet in our household, with not much meat. So I finally found the advice to eat a bit more protein and HOLY BREASTMILK, BATMAN! Since upping my protein (a little bit more meat and cheese, some cow's milk for me at least most days, and lots of nuts and beans) I haven't had a single day where my supply was inadequate for Baby Girl. Damn, that feels good. I just wish I'd been told about this earlier; it would have made life so much easier.<br />
I said above that I aim for 8 ounces each day, but if I don't get it all I don't stress and here's why: Baby Girl prefers mom over bottle. I wouldn't say that she's "rejected" the bottle, as some people say is a possibility, but she's not a huge fan of it. I freaked out the first week I was gone because on Wednesday I got a call from my mom around noon saying, "She's eaten everything you left in the fridge. Now what?" That was TWELVE OUNCES! That week she ended up drinking everything I produced plus three of the packs from my precious freezer supply. Turns out, she was starting a growth spurt. (I don't have a giant baby, but by the next week she'd grown out of several outfits which had fit her perfectly just a few days before.) For about a week and a half most of my thoughts centered around how to increase my supply (which is where most of my research came from) and what I would do if I just couldn't produce enough for her. Well, my worry was a bit needless because after the growth spurt she's settled into a routine of drinking about 1 1/2 bottles (about 6 ounces) while I'm gone during the day. Since I feed her right before I leave and as soon as I get home, this is working well for us. By the end of the week there's a surplus of milk in the fridge and some of it gets frozen for future growth spurts. Baby Girl spends a good portion of the evening eating and eating and eating, so I know she's getting enough food, and now I don't have to worry about producing enough.<br />
I hope this helps other moms like me, who might have a rough start and who can get discouraged about breastfeeding, especially after returning to work. You're not a failure and you <i>can</i> produce enough food for your baby. It just takes a bit of research to find what works best for you.SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-9484780806416243232014-02-12T11:45:00.000-09:002014-02-12T11:45:53.441-09:00Book Review: Diaper Free Before ThreeI've heard a bit about the book "Diaper Free Before Three" but, of course, didn't really have a reason to read it until now. It was shocking how late people in this country keep their kids in diapers. Are there really normal, functioning children who need to wear diapers until they're ready for kindergarten?! I thought about it and realized that one of my neighbors has a son with autism and he's still in diapers, even though he's at least four. (And from what I've seen and heard, he's fairly high functioning.) It's staggering. Even worse, the cost to people and the environment. All those diapers.<br />
So, I'm behind the general concept of the book. Yes, it's perfectly reasonable to expect most kids to have very few accidents by the time they're 2. And I liked that the author constantly recommended a gentle style of training. Don't scold your kid for accidents, they happen and that will only make them feel ashamed. And I will, indeed, implement a lot (if not all) of the suggestions, including starting Baby Girl on the potty when she's about six months old. I seem to have an amazing knowledge of when she's going to pee, since I regularly open up her diaper only to have her start peeing before I get the next one on her.<br />
I thought that this book was really well researched, involving the history of how we got to this point of potty training so late, the problems <i>caused</i> by diapering so long (especially the emotional ones for both parent and child, and the physical ones), and the emphasis on health throughout. (The author is a pediatrician.)<br />
However, there were plenty of things about this book I didn't like and I'll talk about those more in-depth than the positives because they get less attention. The pluses you can get from any review on Amazon.<br />
First, there's the author's insistence that cloth diapers are such a hassle. "My friend tried to do cloth diapers but gave it up after about a week because it was such a pain to deal with." I've heard this from so many people who basically expect you to fail at using cloth diapers because they're somehow inconvenient. SO ARE DISPOSABLES! Especially considering how much they cost. (Shane has estimated that we're saving, at a minimum, $1.25 per diaper, including the cost to wash the cloth ones. And that's not calculating the savings from using the cloth wipes I made, either.) How many times have people bemoaned the midnight trip to the store because they ran out of disposable diapers? And yet, somehow, they never think that perhaps that makes them inconvenient. But washing diapers? Ooh boy, that's a lot of work! ?? I don't get it. Even when I don't have family staying with us and helping, the cloth diapers have never been a pain to wash.<br />
The author also gets into the environmental factor of diapers for a second. Rightly, she points out that the only truly good option is to get kids out of diapers as fast as possible, since either cloth or disposable use a lot of resources. However, she cites a very old report about the environmental cost of diapers which uses absolutely the WORST kind of cloth diaper use and says that it could go either way, in terms of which is better for the environment. Yes, cloth diapers take a lot to manufacture. So do disposables. However, cloth can be used for multiple children, especially if you wait until an older sibling is out of diapers to have another, or if you have graduated sizes so no two children need to be in the same diapers at the same time. Our diapers have all been used for AT LEAST one other child besides ours, and will go through at least one more before I sell them or pass them along to someone else. In fact, we'll most likely have friends having babies before we're ready for a second, so I'll let them borrow the newborn size until they can collect more diapers or find a style they really like. That makes at least four children for those diapers, cutting down the environmental toll considerably. And, none of us is using a diaper service, the emissions from which (driving to and from picking up diapers, etc.) were counted in the cited report.<br />
Cloth diapers for the environmental win, yo.<br />
My other complaint about the book is about one of the asides. There was a special section talking about girl-specific issues that can come up, and one about boys. This might seem like such a small thing to get upset about, but it's part of a much larger issue. The section for girls mentioned that, at this age, many little girls like to touch their private areas and said that "modesty" should be emphasized for them. There was no such corresponding platitude about modesty among boys who, to be frank, touch their genitals just as much as that age, if not more. It's a thing kids do. A lot. They're exploring themselves. I can understand not wanting them to do that in public, but telling little girls to be "modest" without the same message to boys just makes me see red. All of this message was delivered within a section talking about the fact that little girls are more prone to urinary tract infections. A little girl with dirty hands, touching herself, could easily create the circumstances for a UTI to occur. However, modesty has nothing to do with it! Emphasizing bodily cleanliness is fine, but "modesty" has moral and sexual implications that really, really don't need to be there.<br />
For the record, what I intend to tell Baby Girl (and any future children we might have) is that private parts are for private time. I think this sets the right tone, letting a child know that it's ok to explore their body but that it's not ok to do so in public. I don't want Baby Girl to ever, ever feel ashamed of her own body. I know she will at times, because there's no way I can insulate her against the messages of the rest of the world, but if I can get her off to a good start with regard to body image then I can at least mitigate some of the negativity she will inevitably hear.<br />
I'm done rambling. In conclusion, I would recommend this book, but with a heavy grain of salt. The reasons for starting diapering earlier than most people in the US even think of doing so are excellent and well-researched. The timeline seems reasonable and while starting a kid on the potty before they can walk and talk will mean a bit more work on my (and Shane's) part, I think it will be worth it. At the very least, I won't have a toddler with a profound sense of "bait and switch" as far as expectations regarding peeing and pooping to contend with, and hopefully potty training will be a much more pleasant, uplifting experience overall.SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-3228791998079354832014-01-30T15:18:00.000-09:002014-01-30T15:18:31.431-09:00Stress and reliefI am back at work. Dammit. As of Monday, I'm now a working mother. Well, I guess I was always a working mother, since I didn't give up my job, but now I'm actually doing the working part. And it sucks. My job is predictably boring, and I would much rather be at home with my baby. It's hard, sometimes, not to be resentful about the stupid lack of maternity (and paternity) leave we have in this country. Yes, I could have taken 18 weeks. But how many people can really afford to take 18 unpaid weeks? Add in the fact that I'm the family breadwinner and 10 weeks was all I could manage. (I was paid for almost all of that time, thanks to the combination of sick leave, annual leave, and holidays.) Yes, Shane's working but one very part-time student job (I think about 10 hours each week?) and one even more part-time weekend job (4-6 hours) do not bring in much money. In fact, all of that should just about cover what we pay for his student loans each month. (Which is, admittedly, more than the minimum.)<br />
I did, in the last few weeks, ask if I could come back part-time at first. This was partly because I realized how hard it was going to be to leave her for 9 hours each day (including my 1ish hour walking commute) and partly because we found out that the person we intended to ask about babysitting three days a week was out of the country for 6 weeks. Eek!<br /> Unfortunately, the powers that be at work denied my request for part-time. And they gave me half a week of notice to get my shit together and find a babysitter. !!!! So we did the only logical thing and called for grandparent help. Shane's mom, who would be the more logical choice since she's usually closer, is in Hawaii visiting her aunt right now. So we called my mom (who recently discovered that she has a ton of airline miles from her days traveling for work) and made arrangements for her to come up. That left Monday as the only day we needed to find a sitter for, but luckily a friend of ours has recently found a job but hadn't yet started work, so she was available. Phew! It's been a mad scramble and changing of all kinds of plans, but at least I know that Baby Girl is in good hands for my first week of work. My mom keeps saying that Baby Girl reminds her so much of my oldest brother, who was also a high needs baby. (<a href="http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/fussy-baby/high-need-baby/12-features-high-need-baby">She fits 8 of 12 features on this list</a>, and a couple of them I don't think she fits *yet*, like "hyperactive"--she still loves being held <i>all</i> of the time if possible, but when we do lay her down for play time she's rarely still. People remarked at one month old how well she could already hold her head up and now at two months she already loves to stand, with the person holding her mostly acting as a support so that she doesn't tip sideways. However, the very first thing on the list? Intense? Yes, that is exactly the word I would use to describe my child.) My mom said that, when she's older, she'll be so easy because she'll be a self-motivator and will easily entertain herself. Also, "any other kids you have will seem ridiculously easy after her." When I joked, "Unless the next one is the same way!" my mom pointed out that, even then, we'll have experience with a high needs baby and know exactly what to do.<br />
Thankfully, she's regulating herself into a bit of a routine, so life is easier now than it was in the first month. Naptime is basically non-existent--she catnaps unless she's being held. Even then, she doesn't usually sleep all that long. My mom got her to sleep for an hour and a half in her cradle yesterday but "it took some doing, and some tears". She was relieved to know that it wasn't just her having trouble getting a nap out of Baby Girl. I confessed that Baby Girl sleeps with us most nights (a little nervous, since my mom had a younger brother who died of SIDS and I worried she'd freak out about the slightly increased risk--which apparently is only risky if the parents are smokers and/or abuse alcohol and drugs, none of which we do, obviously). My mom nodded, saying, "Yeah, that's what we had to do with your brother, too." But nights are easy that way. She tends to sleep a ten hour night and, unless she's going through a growth spurt (like right now) she only wakes up once in that time to eat. I actually have to poke her awake sometimes because my boobs are full and I really need to feed something.<br />
Breastfeeding also finally turned from something that was wonderful but still a bit fragile into an easy thing. Thanks, in part, to the pump I not only produced enough for her but also a bit extra to store in the freezer for my return to work. I had 8 bags of 3-5 ounces stashed in the freezer, two fresh in the fridge for my first day of work, and 2 bags of 1 ounce (in case she needs more after a meal, or to tide her over until I get home at the end of a work day). Considering how long it took to get my milk supply up, I'm incredibly proud of that. It was a little overshadowed when my friend said that she had over 20 bags in her freezer, despite how much her son eats (he's gained 8 pounds in 3 months!), but this is also her second baby and she said it was so, so much easier for her this time around.<br />
My new work routine is this: wake up at 6:30 and get ready for work. Sometimes Baby Girl wakes up then, and sometimes not. Regardless, I make sure she wakes up so that I can feed her. Most mornings she goes right back to sleep and I have her snuggle up with Shane, who will hand her off to my mom when he needs to leave. At work, I pump twice during the day, on my breaks. That's been enough so far, with feeding her before I leave and then again as soon as I get home. I haven't been able to pump in the evenings so far (not only is she growing, but I think she's missed me during the day and wants to be close to me) but on weekends I'll continue to fit in a pumping session or two and continue adding to my stockpile. Since breastmilk loses a little of its nutrients in the freezer, what I've pumped on Fridays will stay fresh in the fridge for Monday's workday feedings.<br />
My pumping area at work is a space that's mostly used as a supply closet. I brought in a sheet to cover the doorway and made a sign, brought one of the extra chairs in, and voila! There is a dedicated lactation room on campus, but I'd have to go to another building and it would be a pain in the ass. So I talked to my coworkers and everyone agreed that this will work well. Since I'm just pumping on my breaks, this is close enough that I'm not going too far over my 15 minutes (and I think I'm the only one in the office who watches the clock anyway). It's a bit dim, but I can relax back there, oddly, and I generally end up standing, which I find more relaxing than sitting. The only awkward part is having to carry the milk through the public part of the library back to my office (and the fridge) but I'm as discreet as possible so I don't think anyone else notices. My coworkers are all cool about the breastmilk in the fridge too. I may be biased, but I think it helps that it's an office of exclusively women.<br />
Finally, I'm trying to lose some weight and get back in shape. I was worried at first that it would affect my milk supply if I cut calories, but things are going so well that it should be fine. Especially since I'm not doing anything extreme. Three days a week I'm going for a short run (20-30 minutes) with the dog (who has calmed down a lot, but still gets jealous of the baby and I want my old lady dog to know I still love her!). Another 2 days per week I'm trying to do some yoga or other exercises in the house. It's helpful that Baby Girl enjoys sitting in her bouncy seat watching us exercise. She kicks and smiles and I coo at her as I'm getting into downward dog or whatever. It's great, and relaxing which is exactly what I need.<br />
I'm very conflicted about my postpartum figure. On the one hand, <a href="http://weseekjoy.blogspot.com/2013/12/babies-ruin-bodies.html">I am awesome</a>! I made a human being! If I have a few stretch marks, a shiny new scar, and some loose skin around my tummy, that is a small price to pay for the amazing little person I birthed. On the other hand, I do want to be healthy so exercise and a good weight are important. Not only that, but my husband is important as well, and what he thinks of me. I sent him a link about <a href="http://nashvillemarriagestudio.com/nashville-marriage-counseling/babyproof-your-marriage-10-things-new-dads-need-to-know-about-new-moms/">what new dads should know about new moms</a>, and the appearance aspects of it really resonate with me. He didn't seem to get it. I was getting dressed for my run last night and he poked my belly, laughing a bit. I said, "Thanks, because I really don't feel ugly enough." He answered, "Well, you're doing something about it." I don't think he realized quite how hurtful his words were. This wasn't exactly the "you're still beautiful" I was hoping for. But, I know he meant it as, "you're unhappy now but you're doing something about it and that's awesome and I want to support you no matter what!" But it didn't sound that way. This is one of the problems of an English major marrying a non-English major. I can pick out all of the nuances in language, which Shane doesn't think are that important. So where I hear "yeah, you're pretty unattractive after having our kid and I'm looking forward to you getting into better shape again", he doesn't mean it that way. And I know it, but the phrasing still hurts because, in my head, what I hear isn't his intent.<br />
When I mentioned last week that I was going to get serious about losing some weight now (and I don't just mean the few pounds leftover from being pregnant and from my enforced inactivity during the cold weather, but back down to the weight I was at just after high school, so another 8-ish pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight) Shane asked, "So, how can I support you in this without sounding like a dick?" I told him honestly that I didn't know, I just thought it was important to tell someone else so that I was held accountable. But he's back into an exercise routine as well, now that the holidays are over and my brothers (who visited for a little over a week) are gone. We've been making sure to stock the house with healthy snacks. My "treat" the past few days has been <a href="http://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/2012/02/08/german-chocolate-fudge-bites/">these "German chocolate energy bites"</a>, which taste decadent but are really good for you. I've been eating a lot of oats, making <a href="http://www.theyummylife.com/recipes/220/Blueberry+Maple+Refrigerator+Oatmeal">overnight oatmeal as a snack</a> (oats are a <a href="http://www.examiner.com/article/galactogogues-foods-herbs-and-more-to-help-you-increase-your-breast-milk-supply">galactogogue</a>, so they support breastfeeding--important as I start pumping more, since that can decrease supply--AND they're high in iron, which will help me get out of the anemic range quickly) and I made baked oatmeal (with wild cranberries that I picked last summer) for breakfast for the week. I've also been <a href="http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2013/11/21/246549388/nuts-for-longevity-daily-handful-is-linked-to-longer-life">making sure that I get some nuts</a> (usually walnuts but sometimes almonds) every day, and I'm trying to drink <a href="http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2013/12/09/249794467/fresh-research-finds-organic-milk-packs-in-omega-3s">one glass of organic whole milk every day</a>. This weekend I'll probably try to make some boiled eggs to have as another snack, since I've noticed that my milk supply is higher when I've been eating a lot of protein. Plus, eggs are delicious, help with building muscle (important as I start exercising regularly again) and they're overall a really healthy food.<br />
As far as how I'm planning to lose weight, I do terribly with diets. Just really awful. For one thing, most of them advocate cutting out at least some of the foods that I love and I can't do that. And I hate counting calories or weighing my food to make sure my portions are all correct, etc. We eat a really healthful diet, but most of the time I eat in such a way that it maintains my weight. So to lose weight, I'm simply going to bed a teensy bit hungry. Not starving, not really truly <i>hungry</i>, but just a bit peckish. Feeling like I could have another small snack and just not having it. I don't feel deprived this way and I'm still getting enough calories to (hopefully) keep my breastmilk supply up. (I'll reassess as time goes on and I've been at work for more than a week.)<br />
I really didn't intend to make most of this post about baby-related stuff, but it's hard not to when most of my thoughts each day revolve around Baby Girl and what's best for her. So, <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://assets0.ordienetworks.com/images/GifGuide/DealWithIt/30wphfo.jpg.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://assets0.ordienetworks.com/images/GifGuide/DealWithIt/30wphfo.jpg.gif" /></a></div>SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-53428291710070504882014-01-09T11:24:00.000-09:002014-01-09T11:24:20.721-09:002014 isThe holidays are over, finally. I say it that way, but I love the holidays. Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year, and ringing in the New Year does, of course, lend itself to thoughts of what I want in the upcoming year. 2013 was pretty damn fabulous, and 2014 is going to have to work hard to beat it.<br />
Unfortunately, we started with more of a bang than anyone wants. On January 2nd, my dad had a heart attack. A big one, according to my mom (and his doctors). He's alive and recovering, but it's been scary for us all. Every time I talk to my mom she still sounds shaken by how close she came to losing him. My dad sounds a bit sheepish, like he's ashamed of scaring us all so much. He's young, still in his early 60s, and he apparently had a treadmill test in September that looked good so no one's quite sure where the blockages came from.<br />
They told me not to come home, but it's frustrating to be so far away. The first time I got to talk to my mom (the initial contact was with my brother) I asked how my dad was doing and she said, "Oh, well, we can talk about that later." NO, WE FUCKING CAN'T. (I did not say it that way to her.) But she put my dad on the phone, and that was a bit reassuring. They both keep trying to ask me how <i>I'm</i> doing, as if that matters right now. So when they do I've been cheering them up with stories of their granddaughter.<br />
So, that's what's going on with me right now. Pardon me if I don't write much. Between the baby, the concerns with home, and an upcoming visit from two of my brothers, my life is a bit chaotic right now. I don't even know what to write about. In comparison to all of the family stuff, being excited about my consignment shop sales (so I only had to pay $4 for a pair of jeans there, jeans that actually fit my post-pregnancy, post C-section self) seems pretty lame.<br />
Baby Girl grew out of the newborn size of clothing over the holidays so I washed them all and put away the ones we want to keep and took the ones we didn't like (<i>pink freaking cheetah print</i>) to a children's consignment shop. While I was there I bought a (used) bouncy seat so that we can get small breaks. It worked. She took a long nap in the seat after I got it home, and I was able to use two hands when making my breakfast today. Of course, I then had to nurse her as soon as breakfast was actually made, so I ate cold oatmeal a while later. :)<br />
In other positive news, breastfeeding is going much better. I used the pump a lot over the holidays, both to try to build up my supply and to have some milk on hand so that Shane and I could have some baby-free time. We actually got to go on a date to see "The Hobbit"! It was lovely. We dressed up a little bit, went out to dinner, then went back to the house for a short while since the deli we wanted to eat at (Jersey Subs--go there, it's amazing) closed early and the movie didn't start until almost 10:00. So when we left for the movie Shane said, "Um, I'm pretty sure my shirt has a pee spot on it." (We discovered just before we left that she was leaking out of her diaper--the cloth insert got moved around a bit and she, apparently, peed a ton in the 45 minutes since we'd last changed her.) I said, "That's ok. She spat up on my shoulder after I fed her and I forgot to change my shirt too." Ah, parenthood.<br />
I've been driving Shane crazy by doing exactly what I said I didn't want to, which is second-guessing him when he's with the baby. I finally had to explain the other night that when she's not in my arms it's like I have phantom limb pain. Part of my brain is constantly freaking out and it doesn't feel right until I'm holding her again. Even when I'm happy that I've put her down, because now I can <i>get shit done</i>, I check on her every minute or two because having her so far away from me (even if it's just a couple of feet, or if she's with someone else) doesn't feel right. I have to work very hard to restrain that instinct. But I'm working on it. I took the dog out for a jog the other night, my first one since just before I found out I was pregnant last March. It sucked. My legs are so out of shape, and I was getting over a (24 hour) cold so my lungs weren't in the best shape. It was cold, and I didn't wear anything over my face, which was just stupid. But, it was glorious too. My iPod died at Thanksgiving so I didn't have any music, just the crunch of my feet in the ice and snow reminding me that every step is one that I couldn't have made just 7 weeks ago. I'm going for another run tonight.<br /><br />
So, what am I looking forward to about 2014? I'm not even sure, other than a general excitement about seeing Baby's development, and getting closer to my husband, spending time with family and friends.<br />
Because the darkest part of the year is finished, I'm once again looking forward to gardening. I won't be pregnant this year, so I have no excuses to neglect my garden and while I'm certain I won't fulfill all of my grand plans, it will still be a garden. I will grow food for my family and it will be glorious.SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-68122563911952768392013-12-13T16:20:00.000-09:002013-12-13T16:20:26.505-09:00The good, the bad, the ugly side of being a new momI feel like I've unintentionally become an attachment parent. I don't subscribe to any parenting philosophy or style, because each family and each baby is different. What works for one kid might not work for the next, or won't work for your friend and her baby. I grew up hearing my parents talk about how different my siblings and I are, and how they had to do everything (like disciplining us) differently for each kid. Sending one of my brothers to his room as punishment worked; sending another brother did nothing because he'd just quietly play with his toys, no sense of punishment. As an observer of human nature, it seems obvious to me that I should become a different parent based on my child's needs, not on what some book says, no matter how well researched. So when people get so up in arms about their parenting style being "the best", I find it more than a little ridiculous. Just yesterday I was hanging out with a friend, who currently has a 2-year-old and an infant just a few weeks older than mine. I was bemoaning the fact that I can't ever seem to put Baby down because she either wakes up and starts screaming or, if awake when I put her down, starts crying within five minutes. Oh, there have been exceptions. We've gotten her to sleep in her cradle about four times for a couple of hours each, but only if she was really, <i>really</i> deeply asleep when placed in there. Usually I know I have just a couple of minutes to go to the bathroom and pee. If I'm really lucky, I can do something like put in/take out my contacts or brush my teeth before the screaming starts. I haven't written anything in almost a month because the few minutes I have free are inevitably spent doing laundry (diapers need to be done every couple of days), or doing the dishes, or taking a freaking shower in the ten minutes before she wakes up and needs to be fed yet again. I'm currently typing this courtesy of the Moby, so Baby can sleep and I have hands free. (Laundry is going to be started as soon as I'm done writing.)<br />
So I was telling all of this to my friend and she nodded in sympathy. Her son, the infant, is the same way. Apparently their daughter slept in the crib like a champ right from the start, but their son needs to be held to sleep. So currently, we're both bed-sharing with our infants. I'm torn. Part of me panics about the (slightly) increased SIDS risk. I check and double-check that she's got enough space to breathe, that none of the blankets can fall or get kicked onto her face, and Shane does the same. (I've woken up a few times to find him bending over us in the eerie glow of the nightlight as he checks on us.) I wake up every time the dog shifts, although she's been very good about the baby. Better than expected, actually. She's anxious, of course, but very gentle with Baby. I've had to worry more about her stepping on my incision as she climbs across the bed to snuggle with Shane. Usually, that's how we sleep. Shane and the dog cuddled together, me with the baby. And really, if this is what we have to do to ensure that we all get to sleep, then so be it. I have to say, I'm sleeping much better now than I was for the first few nights, when I tried to get her to sleep in the cradle. Not that it worked. I'd put her down, start sliding into bed, and she'd wake up. I slept more in a chair in the living room than I did in my own bed for most of the first week. When I did manage to get her to sleep in the cradle I still panicked about SIDS, only I'd have to actually get out of bed to check on her. I woke up every time she shifted, and at every little noise she made. Now it's easy enough to put a hand on her little tummy and determine that, yes, she's still breathing, or that she's just fussing in her sleep and will go back to sleep, or that she's waking up to be fed. When she needs to be fed, I grab an extra pillow I keep by the bed, prop myself up a bit, and feed her right there. It's not exactly restful, but it's much better than getting out of bed every time I need to nurse her.<br />
And that's another thing I didn't expect to have problems with: breastfeeding. I remind myself all the time that of course it has taken a while for my milk production to ramp up. After everything I went through with labor and delivery, of course my body has needed time to heal itself before providing for another as well. I'm finally feeling like my milk supply is almost adequate for our needs, though. Almost. We're still supplementing a little bit of formula, but not nearly as much as we were. And a little bit of it is because Shane's leery of using the small amount of breast milk I've managed to pump. Baby hasn't gotten the hang of using a bottle yet, which flows too fast and she ends up choking a bit or spitting out whatever's in her mouth. So for the supplementation the public health nurses gave us a feeding tube. I can snake it into the side of her mouth when she's breastfeeding, and get the stimulation that my body needs to signal "hey, produce more milk!" Shane uses it with the pacifier, snaking it through a hole in the side and into her mouth. (No, there've been no problems with "nipple confusion".) But, you have to prime it by sucking a bit into the tube before getting it into her mouth. Generally whoever is doing this gets a drop or two of formula in their mouth (tastes horrible, by the way) and the idea of doing the same thing with breastmilk just grosses Shane out. He's even laughed at me when I pump, because it does look a little weird. "I'm sorry, it's just odd to see my wife...milking herself."<br />
This doesn't really make me sound like an attachment parent, does it? I had an epidural, rather than suffering through the pain after about 20 hours of labor, a C-section, and worst of all I <i>supplement with formula</i>. Go ahead and gasp, judge me even. Do it. The attachment parenting that I referred to is the fact that I hold my baby for roughly 80% of the day. The rest of the time, Shane's holding her. We're working on putting her down more often, but she's not a fan. I got her to lie on the floor next to me for a few minutes while I tried to do some quick exercises to help my abdomen.<br />
I really, really didn't expect breastfeeding to be so hard. I'd read up on it and so much of what you read follows the "it's natural, therefore it's easy!" line of reasoning. And I'm sure that for a lot of mothers and babies, it is. If baby starts with a good latch and Mom's milk supply comes in on time, piece of cake! My milk took almost a week to come in, and even then it was a slow start. I thought I knew what to look for in a good latch, but apparently I didn't so we had to deal with that. Once I got help for it it took Baby less than a day to learn how to properly latch, but until then it was incredibly painful to feed her. I had big sores on each nipple where they were bruised and even, at times, bloody. It cleared up within a couple of days of getting a good latch, but it was not fun to deal with.<br />
The fact that my milk is just barely or not quite keeping up with Baby's needs is frustrating to me. A little bit of the supplementation at this point is simply because Shane wants to give me time to sleep. I go to bed early and he takes over baby duty, then when he's ready for bed he wakes me up and hands her off. The rest of the night is spent nursing and co-sleeping. However, I did get a pump a couple of days ago so we should be tapering off the need for formula soon and I can still get the sleep I need. We just need to teach her to eat from a bottle as well now, too. Currently, she's a bit too greedy and almost chokes herself unless we pull it away every couple of sucks.<br />
It has been incredibly helpful to read online about <a href="http://www.mamasaywhat.com/breastfeeding-in-the-beginning/">other women's less-than-perfect breastfeeding experiences</a>. I'm not alone! I'm not the only one who broke down into tears doing what's supposedly "natural and easy"! It also shows me how lucky I am in how supportive the people around me are. When I was feeling the lowest, that first week, when I'd cry nearly every time I had to feed her, my mom was here to hug me and tell me that I'm not a failure. I don't know what I would have done without her. I also have the amazing public health lactation nurses, who were amazingly helpful and understanding and who visited my house so that I didn't have to take Baby out in the cold. I might have given up without them showing us the right way to latch and what's normal. Last, I have another breastfeeding mom to hang out with, commiserate with, and laugh with. Every new mom should be that lucky.<br />
What's not helpful? The breastfeeding propaganda, and the number of people who get so high and mighty about breastfeeding. I came across one story (I won't bother linking to it because I'm still pissed) in which a woman basically said that supplementing is a sham and that no mom truly needs to do it. She fought the system, everyone else should too! Good for you lady, and screw you. I couldn't watch my baby lose any more weight, and supplementing was the least bad option. I still hate formula, but it's better than starving my child.<br />
This time of year has never been so tough on me, but without my routine I have more time to focus on how dark it is. When I wake up, I have no idea what time it is, except that if it's starting to get light then it's sometime after 9:00. With my crazy sleep schedule, and with the complete lack of any routine at this point, I sometimes feel a bit disassociated with reality. Not in a dangerous PPD type of way, I just feel a little odd sometimes because I don't know what day it is or what time it is. I'm still taking one medication (an iron supplement to help regenerate all of the blood I lost) and I have a hard time remembering each day if I took it three times, or only twice? Was that today or yesterday that I last took one? I should write it down, but finding the time and energy to do so hasn't been high on my list of things to do. Hell, I'm lucky if I get a chance to heat up leftovers to eat while breastfeeding Baby. I think that my most impressive feat as a new mom was to make dinner while breastfeeding the other night. I'd laid her down and, amazingly, got enough time to chop all the veggies before she started screaming for food. So it was more a matter of putting it all together, but still. Wandering around my kitchen with Baby in one arm, latched onto my boob, and dumping veggies into the pan with the other and then stirring, adding spices, etc. Yeah. I felt like a badass.<br />
So that's the bad and the ugly. The good part of being a new mom? Do I even need to say? Sometimes I get irritated that I have to spend basically my entire day holding Baby, but at the same time I know that this stage is very fleeting. Babies develop so much in the first year that she'll be almost a different creature by this time next year. So I'm trying to enjoy it, and it's really not that hard. She's wonderful, and beautiful, and I am such a lucky mom.SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-49872609835309050382013-11-26T02:48:00.001-09:002013-11-26T02:48:40.234-09:00The birth storyAh, the best laid plans. Where to start with this all? I mentioned before that I was scheduled for an induction last Saturday. Unfortunately after I called the hospital that day, but before we got there, one woman needed an emergency C-section and they had someone else walk in in active labor. So I shot to the bottom of the priority list. We were admitted for all of five minutes before they sent us home, saying that they'd call us later. On the way home, frustrated, I told Shane that I couldn't even be mad because "an emergency C-section must suck so much." So we waited. And waited, and waited, and waited. I called them several times and was always told that it would be just a little bit longer. Finally, around 8:00 that night, Shane got fed up and took over the phone call. He demanded to talk to someone else, and it turned out that they'd pretty much cancelled us for the day as soon as they couldn't fit us in by noon. That would have been nice to know, right? I guess the receptionists and the nurses didn't think it was worth talking about to each other.<br />
So we spent an anxious night, determined to wake up much earlier the next day and get to the hospital as early as possible. Neither of us slept very much, although I think I'm the winner with about 5 hours. Shane thinks he only got about 3. But we woke up, called the hospital, and rushed over there as quickly as possible. Good thing, too, since right after we showed up, so did another woman who was actually in labor. ("3rd baby, though, so she's already at 7 centimeters and we should be able to start your induction very soon.") They might have pushed us off again if we'd waited.<br />
By about 10 a.m., we had started the medicine to "ripen" my cervix. That worked, getting my labor started all by itself, and by around 11:30 I was feeling labor pains. I never thought I'd be so happy to be in pain, or that I'd ever welcome it so much, but I did.<br />
I was hoping that the interventions could stop there, but while I was having labor pains, it was slow going. Late in the afternoon, after consulting with the doctor, she inserted a bulb catheter to get my cervix to dilate more. That worked really well and really fast, too, getting me to a little over 5 centimeters in under 2 hours, whereas I'd gone in being a little over 2 centimeters dilated, and it had taken me most of the day to get to 3 centimeters. So, progress! At that point, although I'd been laboring all day, I was <i>officially</i> in labor.<br />
The night wore on and my labor got a lot slower again. My water broke--or rather, my first water. I guess some women can have more than one bag of amniotic fluid and I was one of them. Who knew? The first one broke all on its own, and unlike the movies where there's just one quick gush of fluid, after that point I felt like I was just leaking over and over. Seriously, I kept checking to see if I'd accidentally peed myself. I also didn't expect all of the blood. I knew about the "bloody show" (pregnancy has the most disturbing names for things), but everything I'd read made it seem like a one and done sort of thing, rather than, "You'll probably be bleeding for most of your labor." And, leaking amniotic fluid.<br />
The nurses had told me to expect my labor pains to get worse after my water broke, but I didn't expect the sudden onset of severe back labor. Baby was still positioned just a bit wrong, so instead of the painful but bearable normal contractions, they were shooting up and down my back horribly. I'd read up on all of this, of course, hoping to avoid an epidural if at all possible. None of the positions I tried helped, though, and I asked to get in the tub they have, which I'd been told would help. It did, some. But not enough. This was also around 5 in the morning. I was exhausted, sobbing with each contraction and dozing in between. Shane was so tired that he fell asleep on the floor next to the tub, holding my hand. We'd been awake for about 24 hours, I'd been in labor for most of that, and we were worn out.<br />
Around 7, I threw in the towel. I'd been counting the minutes, telling myself that the passage of time meant that I was closer to actually having my baby. Progress, right? No. I was so tense and tired that I still wasn't progressing much, even though they'd begun giving me pitocin. I figured that the best thing I could do for all of us was to have the epidural and let us all relax some. It was a good decision, although it took forever. I sent Shane to ask about an epidural pretty much right at 7 but the anesthesiologists didn't come to see me until 8:30. I don't blame them, I think someone mentioned that they'd been in a surgery. (In my haze of pain and exhaustion, I'm not entirely sure what anyone said then.)<br />
Say what you will, but it seems that getting the epidural was a good decision. Shane and I both got to fall asleep. I could still vaguely feel my contractions, enough to know that things were happening, but I wasn't in the excruciating pain I had been before. And I did relax, enough to let my body do what it needed to. By the time the doctor came to check me again at 11:00 I'd gone from just barely 6 centimeters to a little over 8, almost there! (You're supposed to be at 10 cm before pushing.) She broke my second bag of water, too, and told me that it was going well. I honestly think that just being able to relax and rest made all the difference, since that was the fastest part of labor for me. Shane was still napping, but I was too excited to rest anymore. As I said, I could feel the contractions vaguely so I kept track of them and was daydreaming about getting to finally hold my baby.<br />
At 11:30, I looked at the baby's heartbeat monitor and saw that it was incredibly low. Normally a baby's heartbeat is over 130, and according to the monitor hers was around 75. Then it dropped lower still. I know I saw it drop into the 40s at one point, before heading back up. But still not enough. I watched for maybe, <i>maybe</i>, 30 seconds, telling myself that the monitor was hooked up to their computers and that the nurses were watching. However, just about the time I thought that I should call someone just to check, 3 nurses burst into the room. One of them was shouting over her shoulder to call my doctor. They got me to roll over on my hands and knees, put oxygen over my mouth, and did I don't even know what. Poor Shane had still been sleeping when all of this started, and I didn't get a chance to explain anything because of the oxygen mask. Since the nurses were tossing around terms like "emergency", he didn't want to stop any of them to ask what was going on. He rushed over and grabbed my hand but I didn't know until later that he was clueless as to what the problem was.<br />
The doctor came in and said she was going to try a couple of things real quick. I was so focused inward, whispering to Baby to hang on in there, trying not to freak out. According to Shane, the doctor did about one thing, then stripped off her gloves and said, "Prep the OR, we need to go <i>now</i>."<br />
It was the scariest moment in our lives, and Shane couldn't follow me. He held my hand as they wheeled me into the hallway, but passing through one set of doors I heard them explaining that he couldn't go there unless he was scrubbed in and there just wasn't time. I wish I could erase from my mind the look on his face. "Devastation" doesn't really seem to cover it. He said later that he was watching his entire world be wheeled into emergency surgery, and he still didn't even know why.<br />
It was maybe 10-15 minutes, total, from the time Baby was first in distress until I was knocked out by general anesthesia for the C-section. That is an eternity in which to wonder if you will, instead of experiencing one of the best moments of your life, be going home baby-less instead. Poor Shane was pacing around for about 20 minutes before a nurse brought Baby out. He got to be there as they cleaned her up, weighed her, all that good stuff. As soon as they'd brought her out the nurse told him that he had a healthy baby girl. Shane asked, "And the mother?" The guy shrugged and said, "Her heart's beating." He was a pediatric nurse, not a labor and delivery nurse, so he might not have known any more than that since he was just there for Baby. But poor Shane was left an anxious mess, wondering if something was wrong and the nurse didn't want to tell him, or if I was just fine. So not only did he have the initial fear of going home without a baby, but once that fear was taken care of it was replaced by the fear that he might be wifeless.<br />
After getting knocked out for surgery, the next thing I knew I was being woken up with Shane at my bedside, holding our baby girl. He handed her to me and told me her stats as I got to look her over for the first time. I know everyone says this, or thinks it, but I really do have the most beautiful baby in the world. She's got a full head of dark hair the same color as her daddy's, dark blue/gray eyes (as Buttercup says in 'The Princess Bride', "Eyes like the sea after a storm"), and chubby cheeks. Perfection. Looking down at her little face as I cradle her has become my new favorite sight in the entire world. A close second is seeing her snuggled in her dad's arms. We're so enraptured by this tiny person we made.<br />
I wish my saga of birth ended there, that everything was fine. But I had apparently lost a lot of blood during the surgery. They didn't tell me this the first night, which is fine since I was still so out of it that I probably wouldn't have understood anyway. They did make me get up and out of bed, just for as long as I could, and that is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. It hurt so bad that I almost started crying, thinking that it would take me months to recover from this surgery. I got dizzy and light-headed from being upright, so I just stood there for a few seconds before they made me lie back down.<br />
They tested my blood and basically I had, based on some points scale that I didn't inquire about too much, about half as many points as I should have. (A healthy, non-pregnant person should be up around 13, I was at 5.something.) So I got two pints of blood, I'm taking an iron supplement, and I'll still be low on blood for the next 3-6 months. They warned me that I would tire more easily, and I can actually tell that I do. Oh, I'm sure some of it is new parent sleep deprivation. But so far, between my mom and my husband they've been helping me to get at least 6-7 hours each day, generally more toward the 7 end of things. It helps, too, that Baby B is such an easy-going little girl. She doesn't fuss much, and usually when she does it's for a good reason: her diaper seriously needs changing or she's hungry.<br />
And speaking of hunger, adding to my first week of motherhood's woes, we've had some lactation issues. I thought I knew what a deep latch should look like, but it turns out that I didn't and not only was Baby not being fed effectively, but I got sores on my nipples. Yes, ouch. Then, most likely due to all the physical trauma I'd been through, my milk didn't come in until nearly a full week after she was born. I felt like such a failure. Unable to give birth properly, unable to feed my child, I spent a couple of attempted feedings sobbing my heart out. Thank God for my mom, who was there to tell me that I'm not a failure, that I'm a good mom, and to hug me. I'm also grateful for the public health system we have here, where they have lactation nurses to help new moms. Even better, they'll actually come out to your house rather than making you drive a baby out into the cold to see them. (I just knew we'd be bringing Baby home on the coldest day of the year so far--I think it was about -30.) I did go there once, after our first pediatric appointment. Baby had lost a bit more weight than they want to see, so the doctor gave me some supplemental formula and the nurse showed me how to use it. It's pretty cool, she gave us a small bottle and a feeding tube. So when Baby latches on I can snake the tube into the side of her mouth and she's both nursing and getting the formula. It's not ideal--ideal would be if my milk had come in after a day or two like it should have. But keeping my baby healthy and happy is the most important thing, and this helped. Now that my milk has actually come in, I'm weaning both of us off the formula. In the last day she's gotten only about half an ounce, just to be sure. The measure of "is my baby getting enough to eat?" is through their diapers, and she's still not peeing as much as she should so thus the small amount of supplementation. I think it will take a bit more time before my milk supply is fully up to the task of feeding her. However, I'm doing what I should by both eating and drinking lots. In fact, I feel like a hobbit, eating at least three meals and three large "snacks" each day. (When your snack is the same size as your other meals, can it still be called a snack?)<br />
As annoying, harrowing, and disappointing as much of this has been, I'm so happy. I have the most beautiful baby, a sweet little girl who makes me deliriously joyful. Just as good, seeing my husband as a devoted new father makes me melt. So the process of becoming a mother wasn't what I planned or expected. So what? The outcome is what's important.<br />
I am ridiculously in love with my baby.SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-234997514149413652013-11-12T12:02:00.000-09:002013-11-12T12:02:32.908-09:00Due dateI finished work on Friday, which was both a wonderful and a very odd feeling. Wrapping up some of my projects before going, and making sure that everyone else in the office knew about things I was doing so that I didn't end up being the only one knowing what was supposed to happen or what was going on, felt strange. I know I'll be back, but I'm not even allowed to check my work email so I'm essentially cut off until I get back. (It's not technically allowed, but my coworker and I will text and communicate so that I don't come back totally not knowing what's going on.) The thing that I'm most proud of myself for, though? The fact that I walked to and from work the whole nine months. It didn't even feel all that impressive to me, but everyone else seems to be blown away by it. Even Shane said he was proud of me for keeping up with the walking. He knew that I wouldn't drive, but walking halfway and then taking a shuttle bus up the rest of the hill was an option, just not one I ever really considered. The 'trick', as I see it, is that I never told myself I couldn't do this. So it didn't seem like an unusual feat, or anything extraordinary, but just what I do. After all, we're not too far removed from the days when a pregnant woman would have had to move with her tribe and keep up. I am no delicate flower, I'm a capable woman who just happens to be pregnant.<br />
Despite the fact that yesterday was only an <i>estimated</i> due date, everyone around me was on high alert. I got several "happy due date!" messages, and every time I've called someone for the past week or so I've started with something along the lines of, "Don't get excited, I'm not in labor." I even sent a text to one of my brothers just to say there was no news. (He thanked me, since his wife had apparently been scouring Facebook to see if I'd posted something about being in labor.) I even got one, "When is she going to pop out?? She sure does like staying in there!" And when I went to the doctor's yesterday morning the nurse said, "So, you're overdue? ...Oh, no, it's your due date, that's right." Um, wow people. Just wow. Since when did making it to your due date become "overdue"? (The doctor herself said, "Don't worry about going past today, that's perfectly normal.")<br />
It honestly sort of feels like I'm the person who's put the least amount of awkward pressure on my due date. I know that it's an estimation, and only around 5% of babies are actually born on their due dates, which leaves the rest to scatter before and after. It would be so, so nice if they could, in fact, pinpoint one date and say, "Yes, your baby will be born on X date." But it doesn't work like that, and I know it.<br />
What I half expected, and dreaded, was that I would end up like my mother and not actually go into labor. So far, that appears to be what's happening. Baby hasn't dropped, I haven't really effaced, and I'm not really dilated. 1 cm, which is basically nothing, especially since I haven't effaced, and I've been this way for about three weeks. It was so <i>frustrating</i> to go to the doctor's yesterday and hear that there'd been no change. Until then I could tell myself that at least all the achiness and pain and cramping I've been experiencing was doing something, it was getting my body ready for labor. Nope. I'm all kinds of hurting for <i>no progress</i>. Wouldn't you be just a bit insulted by that?<br />
Technically speaking, this lack of progress doesn't mean very much as I could still go into labor at any minute, but my body just doesn't show signs of doing what it's supposed to. So, I've scheduled an induction for this weekend. And I'm really of two minds about it. On the one hand, yay! There's a definite end point, a time when I really will get to hold my baby! On the other hand, I was really, really hoping that I would just go into labor naturally. But it's seeming less and less likely that that will happen. So, an induction. It's the least invasive thing they can do, first a medicine to "ripen" my cervix, which could start labor all by itself, and then pitocin if I need it.<br />
If nothing happens before Saturday, that is. I still have a little hope. I've been talking to Baby Girl and telling her that she'd really be doing her parents a solid favor if she could make an appearance soon. And yes, I've been walking a lot. And cleaning, and doing yoga, and just generally moving around. It hasn't helped.<br />
I could have put off the induction until sometime next week. But I talked it over with Shane, and honestly it interrupts his schoolwork less to do it over a weekend, especially since the doctor warned that even starting it on Saturday could mean that it spills over into Sunday. Yes, we're those silly people who are trying to fit in a baby's birth to our schedule. But if we have to schedule it anyway, it might as well work for us. And his schoolwork will need to get done at some point, so why not interrupt it as little as possible from the start?<br />
I'm sure there are natural birth advocates out there who would shake their heads and fists at what I'm doing. They'd tell me to go as late as possible before letting the doctors do any sort of intervention. (Or, even better, they'd tell me that it's not possible for a woman to not go into labor on her own. Uh, yeah. Tell that to my mom, whose oldest baby was over a month late, and who ended up having four C-sections. Just try it, see how well that goes over.) I do realize that being induced puts me at a slightly increased risk of needing a cesarean. However, the earlier they induce the less risk there is. So by doing the induction this weekend, rather than waiting one more, I was making a bet that this induction will lead to less needed intervention overall. We'll see how that works out.<br /><br />
I had to order more prenatal vitamins, since I'm planning to breastfeed and according to my doc it's actually arguably more important to take a vitamin while breastfeeding than while pregnant. (Except, of course, for the all-important folic acid in the very start of pregnancy.) I took a survey for someone's research at the U and got a $10 Amazon gift card, which I knew I'd be using for more vitamins. I love the logic of shipping to Alaska. When I went through most of the checkout process for just the vitamins, my order total was over $23, even with the gift card. They were going to charge me, at minimum, $10.55 for shipping. (Unless I tried Amazon Prime, but I don't feel that I order enough from them to justify that.) So, I looked around for something I wanted to get for one of my brothers for Christmas. When all was said and done, adding a nearly $20 item to my total actually only added about $6 ($29 rather than $23) because I was able to then get free shipping. The logic of shipping to Alaska.<br />
At least I didn't get all the way through ordering only to then get the message, "We're sorry, we can't ship this item outside of the continental U.S." That's a fun one, and I love that they leave it for the very end of the process.<br /><br />
It is my second day as a hausfrau and I'm already worried that I'll run out of things to do. I mean, I don't do "sitting around waiting" very well. So even with my appointment yesterday I managed to go grocery shopping, take the dog for a walk to deliver Shane's thermos to him on campus, I re-potted a plant, thoroughly cleaned the kitchen, made bread, called my mom, cleaned the toilet, did four loads of laundry, and that was all just before Shane got home at 7. After he got home, the one thing we did (other than making dinner and, you know, relaxing) was move the baby's cradle into the closet finally. It fits even better than we thought it would! We can close the curtains and Shane joked, "It'll be like we don't even have a baby at all! We can totally ignore her." I laughed. It might sound like a terrible joke but, well, we're quite certain that any baby of ours won't let herself be ignored, ever. Besides, she's already being stubborn just about being born! When I put it that way Shane said, "That's my girl!"<br />
On today's to-do list: tackle all floors (sweeping, mopping, and vacuuming), clean the bathroom, organize some of the baby stuff a bit more, dust, clean some of the window screens, clean off/out the stove, finish the laundry, take the dog for another walk, do yoga, finish sewing that nightgown I was making. And if I manage to get all of this done today, I'll be going crazy tomorrow because I'll have nothing left to do. Except maybe to clean off my desk....SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-62182915708972517102013-10-26T13:33:00.000-08:002013-10-26T13:33:22.958-08:00Shopping in my house and more sewing projectsAll of the activities before which I thought were "nesting"? Yeah, that's been nothing compared to the overwhelming <i>need</i> to get things done and cleaned and ready which seized me at the end of this week. In part, I think, it's because I finally finished the book series I was reading. I wanted to get that done before Baby's arrival because, while I love the books, they wouldn't have been fun to read out loud. And I plan to do a lot of reading aloud to her. Such a list of good books to read aloud that I've got in my head! It starts with "Pride and Prejudice". (I figure we'll get into board books a little later on, when she's more active than a potato.)<br />
It is, of course, starting to get dark around here. The piss-poor way this house was set up, with the biggest windows on the North side, doesn't help. Even during the weekends, in the daylight, I would find myself wanting a bit more light to read by. But I didn't want to turn on the power-sucking, huge overhead lights. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK9WRzDpww9BNR56JXb0X1f5PUNc0FIzJJbcAz6DkUVrYBSLN1fbUL3WCvunveocjoQzY8scFKndPD-DVlDZNbDbmUcwlrCCTzNVQd8RDtfcvjsKzy9hkmJ-O-gW-z0K4jWfF3ajAeVA4d/s1600/Picture+1025.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK9WRzDpww9BNR56JXb0X1f5PUNc0FIzJJbcAz6DkUVrYBSLN1fbUL3WCvunveocjoQzY8scFKndPD-DVlDZNbDbmUcwlrCCTzNVQd8RDtfcvjsKzy9hkmJ-O-gW-z0K4jWfF3ajAeVA4d/s200/Picture+1025.jpg" /></a></div>
(I hate these lights.) I've been thinking for a few weeks that we really should get a lamp for the living room so that we don't have to depend on those horrible overhead lights. I thought that I'd look at Value Village the next time we went (which we'll need to do for our Halloween costumes) and then realized that there was a perfectly good lamp in our bedroom which we almost never use. It's small, and it's one of those ones with a clamp to hold it onto something. It's been clamped to Shane's desk everywhere he's lived since before I met him. I pulled it off, then looked in it and realized that most of the reason it gets used so rarely is because it's got a blacklight in it. So I went searching in one of the hall closets for our CFL lightbulbs and what did I find? A different clampy lamp. One that looks a bit nicer and is a little larger, far more suited to the living room and my needs out there. I didn't even know we had this lamp, and how bad is that? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii2zBy5QaZ9126KrcrMgFLGwpnsACNBaTO0g0kJIpUpNPXCFm58a4ih8NPH945kS82i7re9EdXQ74u74kpGL82dDrtua7aN_8r3YHIl9cZrtyVrCZZrMIlzASdApiqm8Ka6iG2NTEvciSg/s1600/Picture+1026.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii2zBy5QaZ9126KrcrMgFLGwpnsACNBaTO0g0kJIpUpNPXCFm58a4ih8NPH945kS82i7re9EdXQ74u74kpGL82dDrtua7aN_8r3YHIl9cZrtyVrCZZrMIlzASdApiqm8Ka6iG2NTEvciSg/s200/Picture+1026.jpg" /></a></div> Needless to say, I put the other lamp back and used the one I'd found in the hall closet instead. Now I have a decent-looking and comfortable place to read. If I need to put my feet up, I use the exercise ball. Frequently, the cat jumps into my lap and enjoys the quiet reading time with me.<br />
My horror at not even realizing we had this lamp lead me to clean out that closet a bit more. I realized that in the past I've looked through the upper cabinets but there are lower cabinets which I've mostly left alone, thinking that I knew what was in them. Clearly I do not. And it turned out to be a bit of a gold mine, mostly in terms of things that we can get rid of. Some holiday decorations which were given to us, and which we've never actually used, filled up half a bag.<br />
What really surprised me, though, was a thing whose origins I don't know, and I can't even guess at what it once was. It was a big white sheet of waterproof material, torn in several places, and with definite corners and a long zipper. ???? It's about the size of a full-size sheet, but I don't know what it is. I suspect it's something from our old roommate, and I'm probably the one who kept it thinking that it would be useful "someday". That day has come. :) I've been needing some waterproof material for some of the baby projects I wanted to get done, and this saves me from buying it. What a fortuitous find! Sometimes, my packrat tendencies <i>do</i> pay off.<br />
Through one thing and another, I ended up having an entire free Friday because I didn't have to work. Shane has class on Thursday nights until 9:00, so I had an entire evening to myself, with nothing planned. I spent half an hour trying to read but my mind kept wandering to the projects I wanted to get done. I'd planned to do them the next day, on my day off, then realized that it was silly to push them off for no good reason. On went "Ghostbusters", out came the serger and all of my materials: two old sheets, the waterproof material, two pillowcases, and a cloth drawstring bag which I found in the closet with all of the sheets and realized was perfect for re-use. It used to hold a set of sheets, but no more.<br />
If you're wondering where I got all of these old sheets and useless pillowcases and such (perfectly reasonable), wonder no longer. Some were left by our old roommate, and some were given to us by my in-laws, and due to their age the fitted sheet has since died. (By that I mean, Shane managed to put giant holes in them.) The top sheets were still just fine, though, because Shane hates them so they end up getting pushed to the foot of the bed, crumpled rather than torn. The pillowcases...well, some of those were given to us, and some we found in the couch after we got it. I have no idea what they were doing in there, but whatever. They've come in handy. Since the fabric for all of these thigns was still good, and I always have grand plans for projects I want to do, I saved them. It wasn't until I got the serger last Thanksgiving, however, that I really had the means with which to do anything. So now, out they all came to finally become useful rather than simply taking up space.<br />
The first thing I wanted to do was to make some wetbags for holding dirty diapers. Because of the dog, we need to keep these off the floor, in some sort of container that will both cut down on smell and be hard for the dog to get into if she does get ahold of it. The pillowcases and the waterproof material were what I used. Cutting the material was by far the hardest part, both because the only space I have to use is the floor, and because my little "helper" kept swiping at my hands when I tried to cut the waterproof material. (His fort.) <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPI-lQQ9CwqnGmNBKIeetqUKiDoOG98-8T2RSZunEIA5mQpAzsZXdBCLC6fe7KN1dMthPZDVjIRJHfW_xl_ot61szhc7-ZNWclpnGZFV1RrQuN11WUvJ1wGZSV1Kkj-vnKucw3TjuSXJMO/s1600/Picture+1032.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPI-lQQ9CwqnGmNBKIeetqUKiDoOG98-8T2RSZunEIA5mQpAzsZXdBCLC6fe7KN1dMthPZDVjIRJHfW_xl_ot61szhc7-ZNWclpnGZFV1RrQuN11WUvJ1wGZSV1Kkj-vnKucw3TjuSXJMO/s320/Picture+1032.jpg" /></a></div> So be kind when you see the finished projects. I'm still a very novice sewer, and I didn't have the best working conditions. Also, I used black thread on everything, no matter the color, because the serger is such a pain in the ass to change thread that I didn't even bother. I don't think any of it looks bad, though, so if you do you can keep your mouth shut. Overall, what matters the most to me is simply that I got these things <i>done</i>.<br /><br />
For the wetbags, I cut out waterproof material in the size and shape of the pillowcases, then sewed three edges so that they became, essentially, waterproof pillowcases. Then came the hard part, sewing the waterproof material into the pillowcases. The first one I did looks worse by far, but really only from the inside.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB3gPCXHsiAyZLhFYPhvT-p_RZdk7y6bFBmbuEryxPG3X3mj4eHkFQbzqTHEEAIZWSmzr-8vcrjo_Sh-Ibsz689y9Dkc8Qv2Myn7mJVv_HTHP6uUGHIEaLZShex45hHXZ26FY67SEL3kRZ/s1600/Picture+1018.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB3gPCXHsiAyZLhFYPhvT-p_RZdk7y6bFBmbuEryxPG3X3mj4eHkFQbzqTHEEAIZWSmzr-8vcrjo_Sh-Ibsz689y9Dkc8Qv2Myn7mJVv_HTHP6uUGHIEaLZShex45hHXZ26FY67SEL3kRZ/s200/Picture+1018.jpg" /></a></div> There's a bit of puckering because the waterproof material wasn't quite as wide as the pillowcase. (Thanks cat.) But since this is to hold dirty diapers, who cares? When I was out and about on Friday, I stopped at the craft store to buy a couple of zippers and sewed those into the tops of the wetbags. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9-1fI_5ea3dsj4azVhqlw2N77oBlNXmlktVKCQbF1OXt2OeEjKPG_0_VV6MDZI9cTyunuqwU9lcnFj4GBwgoew-D9xnruSzO41owEm6dIGkt-4a61ISXSRpMPQxBuw3gGo155aM6ZhaFM/s1600/Picture+1024.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9-1fI_5ea3dsj4azVhqlw2N77oBlNXmlktVKCQbF1OXt2OeEjKPG_0_VV6MDZI9cTyunuqwU9lcnFj4GBwgoew-D9xnruSzO41owEm6dIGkt-4a61ISXSRpMPQxBuw3gGo155aM6ZhaFM/s200/Picture+1024.jpg" /></a></div> I now have two wetbags which can be thrown into the washing machine along with the dirty diapers. Woo! The only thing I have left to do is to figure out how I want to keep them off the floor. I'm thinking I should do something to hang them in the closet, but I'm not certain what the best way to accomplish that is yet. I'll figure something out, and most likely I'll find whatever I need for that project around the house. :)<br />
Remember the small drawstring bag I mentioned? That got made into a small wetbag as well, for in the diaper bag whenever we go out and about. By the time I did it, I was getting much better about sewing in the round. So it actually turned out quite well. From the outside you can't even tell that it's anything other than a small-ish drawstring jersey bag. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5H2pQLtyWDq1SCW7vhZvHwISeKKMPevf-ZnfaIrXoNZaEUqJEL7VRh-V2aXqJwFfCYtcRuwaDGiAWpDmJ7TWb5asQI3ZsqT4IFxJaWF7BBpZMtpTAZXic5IarEeLfbFoV6fZegcspyGP9/s1600/Picture+1019.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5H2pQLtyWDq1SCW7vhZvHwISeKKMPevf-ZnfaIrXoNZaEUqJEL7VRh-V2aXqJwFfCYtcRuwaDGiAWpDmJ7TWb5asQI3ZsqT4IFxJaWF7BBpZMtpTAZXic5IarEeLfbFoV6fZegcspyGP9/s200/Picture+1019.jpg" /></a></div><br />
I've been wanting to make some curtains for our closet, since that will be Baby's "room" for the first few months. Just something light so that we don't have to worry as much about turning a light on in the bedroom when she's sleeping, but which also won't really be much of a barrier so that sound and air will travel freely. I knew exactly what sheet I wanted to use for this project, too. An old white topsheet was perfect. Basically all I had to do was cut it up the middle, serge the sides and bottom (both sides so that they would match, and the bottom because it was way too long) and then flipped the top down to make a tube through which to slide the curtain rod. (Also bought at the craft store--I spent a grand total of $16, and I got a set of pins as well.) I hung them up using sticky hooks, so they won't damage anything in our apartment. Overall, I'd say it looks pretty nice. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhJoq6A4-_knf7fmLIsDyKgqdz52HLdjJMuxAgPyCktPGw-CX-IlznMXlbTiys6h7w8xHku5YAH9qviQRuiIJZJ1go6dJfypD34ZMKExQnGHOb6meAEGC9KSqu0cb3bjuPOhYFobKhwEHd/s1600/Picture+1028.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhJoq6A4-_knf7fmLIsDyKgqdz52HLdjJMuxAgPyCktPGw-CX-IlznMXlbTiys6h7w8xHku5YAH9qviQRuiIJZJ1go6dJfypD34ZMKExQnGHOb6meAEGC9KSqu0cb3bjuPOhYFobKhwEHd/s200/Picture+1028.jpg" /></a></div><br />
My final, and most ambitious project, was to make a nightgown for myself. Shane thinks it's silly, but I wanted something in which would be really easy to nurse. At the very least, when we have family visiting or go visiting other places, I'll need something that I'll be comfortable in. (I usually sleep either, um, naked, or wearing a big old t-shirt.) Anyway, I had a grand design in my head and thought that it wouldn't be too hard. And I was right! The hardest parts were simply that I don't have a great method of cutting out material, and that jersey is hard material to work with. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaXHF-_vmZ74KRgvR1X0ciqT1I-jPWHD3qBwxy88EiBLC76Tq99vtYB4GdE0BDIEySQT4J8PLrVrY32ZoAN7HQfPeHqjlQZmpZdAK4BzB9hqYOreRdQ7EIF_siuQ91xiioTjiGAVuFNklo/s1600/Picture+1020.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaXHF-_vmZ74KRgvR1X0ciqT1I-jPWHD3qBwxy88EiBLC76Tq99vtYB4GdE0BDIEySQT4J8PLrVrY32ZoAN7HQfPeHqjlQZmpZdAK4BzB9hqYOreRdQ7EIF_siuQ91xiioTjiGAVuFNklo/s200/Picture+1020.jpg" /></a></div> Also, I was making this for an approximation of my post-pregnancy body so I had to guess at some things. For a pattern, I cut an old t-shirt (with a number of small holes in it, so it wasn't in donatable condition) and used that to approximate my dimensions. As you can see, I drew on there some pattern ideas for the top using a Sharpie. Mostly, I wanted to be sure I knew where my boobs would be so that I didn't accidentally cut too little fabric.<br />
The belly part was easy, I just put a few gathers in under the empire waist. I put one in at the back, too, (just one) that I think looks rather nice. Overall, the skirt was the easiest part. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7qxIcPA7AUtAYziN_yfuw2kyom0Ao26-EZW07XTK7UETk1tNc5zTu_PIFTBb6kLlaiFcTBbNUUHu8SpZs-RQU6klxQhI1NGZsp0LeIhT9GQrRH6vlrqClu2wKKk5RFsLMj5uzSJ8XAFlW/s1600/Picture+1023.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7qxIcPA7AUtAYziN_yfuw2kyom0Ao26-EZW07XTK7UETk1tNc5zTu_PIFTBb6kLlaiFcTBbNUUHu8SpZs-RQU6klxQhI1NGZsp0LeIhT9GQrRH6vlrqClu2wKKk5RFsLMj5uzSJ8XAFlW/s200/Picture+1023.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Which means that the top is the hardest part. How to get things just right? How to make it look nice, or even decent? My first idea was to have two flaps overlaying each other so that I could just pull one aside at a time, but I didn't like that idea so much. So I did a scoop-neck instead. It's pretty low-cut, but that just means it'll be easier to pull aside for nursing.<br />
I also wasn't sure how to make the edges look so nice. For some things, like the bottom and the armpits, I really don't mind having the serged edges show. But for the neckline? I figure that, at least, should look cute. So I cut out some <i>very</i> long strips of the sheet and braided them together. I'm still in the process of hand-sewing them on. They'll also serve as the straps, since they're sturdier and less prone to stretching than one thin strap of jersey material would be. They'll still be easy to slide off my shoulders, though. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjieVn9xBWG3yVAagSA96kOnreyaQjHSd1s4VXRaRBP1h0gKxNcH7kQBNdAhsC4dFbxlIwfny7Wo9UvgERFjhY3tVsfq7ZkPF-U5bI7JDV7gbkYqVzS8P-xfNx1nxuzGgs3pTu-bes44OwF/s1600/Picture+1027.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjieVn9xBWG3yVAagSA96kOnreyaQjHSd1s4VXRaRBP1h0gKxNcH7kQBNdAhsC4dFbxlIwfny7Wo9UvgERFjhY3tVsfq7ZkPF-U5bI7JDV7gbkYqVzS8P-xfNx1nxuzGgs3pTu-bes44OwF/s200/Picture+1027.jpg" /></a></div><br />
When I showed Shane my project he thought it was rather silly that I felt the need to have a nightgown at all. (Until I reminded him about feeding the baby around friends and family, at least.) Then he said, "Wait, is that a sheet?" I said, "Yeah, would you rather that I had bought fabric for this?" He said, "No, but I still reserve the right to laugh at you." Fair enough.<br />
The nightgown is far from perfect. More than a short glance will show some places where the sewing could have been done better. But, considering my lack of experience with the serger and the fact that this is the most ambitious project I've ever tried, I feel pretty good about it. (I'd post a picture, but I'm still 9 months pregnant so it looks pretty silly on me at the moment.) Maybe I'll try making more nursing clothes for myself? I do still have about half a sheet of material left....<br /><br />
I still need to make some changing pads for diapering Baby, but I have plenty of the waterproof material for that. The only thing I'm not certain about is what else I want to use. Should I just use a layer or two of the flannel, with the waterproof material either under or in between? Or should I get a couple of towels at Value Village and use those? Should I do a different one for the diaper bag, since we might need to change her diaper on a hard surface, or will that not matter too much? I'll have to think about it some more, but quickly since according to my doctor I could go into labor at any time now. (Yay! But my due date isn't for another two weeks, and she also wouldn't be surprised if nothing happens before then. She told me to "just hang on and don't get discouraged.")<br />
I didn't do this yesterday, but I did make more dog booties this year. I mostly used materials I had leftover from last year, like the velcro, elastic, and canvas (so much of that left). Since I didn't have any fleece for the insides, though, I used some more bits of the flannel sheet which I'd cut up for baby wipes. The purpose isn't really to pad her feet, but to keep them from getting frostbitten in the cold, so the flannel will work well enough. And this year I learned from my mistakes: I used two layers of canvas on the bottoms. Hopefully these will hold together better. I'm always looking for ways to improve the design. One day, perhaps, I'll be able to make some dog booties which last for more than one winter's worth of walks and runs.<br />
If winter ever gets here, that is. Almost Halloween and no snow? Even worse, it was so warm that it was <i>raining</i> for a couple of weeks, even at night. What the hell? It's actually nice to have frosty days once again.SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-52956775549359795312013-10-24T16:42:00.000-08:002013-10-24T16:42:09.571-08:00Take the good with the badI have to admit, for the most part I've really enjoyed being pregnant. At the very least, it's fun digging into the biology behind what's going on and tracking the changes in myself. Seriously, it's magical to be able to make another human being.<br />
At its best, I realize in awe that no one else will ever get to have this experience of my child that I do. Not even Shane has gotten to know her yet as I have, through her kicks and rolls and how we respond to each other. I eat certain things and she turns into a little ninja, I think in appreciation. (Baby loves Thai food as much as I do!) I sing and she goes quiet, either sleeping or just appreciating. However, she kicked and rolled through all of my Symphony rehearsals as if she was dancing. I've had a few inordinately stressful moments at work over the past few months and every time I got really stressed out she started moving a whole bunch like she was trying to say, "Mom, chill out! It doesn't matter!" It's amazing, getting to know her this way.<br />
So most of my griping is because I'm just impatient. I dream about holding my Baby in my arms and I want to do it <i>right now</i>. We've technically reached full term (I'm almost 38 weeks) but still have a couple of weeks to go for optimum health. Still, when I'm alone I'll tell her that she can come out any time now, I'm ready.<br />
My other big gripe is how <i>other people</i> respond to me being pregnant. I thought the most annoying thing <i>ever</i> would be having others touch my belly. But, I realize that the people who do this are just excited and awed by what's going on. I even invite people to touch my belly when she's poking a knee or a foot out, so that they can experience it a little for themselves. And really, it's only been friends who've touched my belly. (Plus one coworker.) One friend gets teased for being "that guy" because every time he sees me he reaches out and gently lays a hand on my belly. But, the look in his eyes is so reverent. He just thinks it's so cool, and how can I be annoyed with that?<br />
What I didn't expect was the number of people who would think that it's perfectly acceptable to tell me how huge I am. What...what the hell? Why would you ever say that to a person? If it's not acceptable to say to someone who's not pregnant, why would it suddenly be acceptable to say to a woman just because she is pregnant? You wouldn't tell a fat person how huge they are. (Or at least, you fall into the category of "giant douche" if you do.) Generally, you expect that an overweight person will know it. And you know what? I do too. I already feel like a whale <i>without</i> you needing to say it, thankyouverymuch. And while I generally have a healthy body image, and I understand that I've gained weight because <i>it's healthy when you're pregnant</i>, I do still have my fears. Will I ever be able to get back into the shape I was before I got pregnant? Will I have stretched out, saggy skin forever? I take solace in the fact that my stomach is stretch-mark free, not because stretch marks are so terrible but just because it's one thing to cling to and feel good about.<br />
These comments are all the more hurtful because I really haven't gained that much weight. 25 pounds is on the lower end of the recommended weight gain for someone who's not over- or under-weight. I measure exactly where I should be at every appointment, and there are no signs that I'm going to have a particularly big baby. No one at the doctor's office has said a word about my weight gain, since it's exactly what it's supposed to be. But, I'm short. Adding 25 lbs to my frame looks very different from adding that same weight to the frame of someone several inches taller. Also, I'm carrying all out front. I still have most of the inward curve to my waist when looked at from the front or back. So, yeah. The belly looks pretty big. But, there's also a tiny person in there. I made a fucking person. Back off about how big I am.<br />
I do understand that most of the women who've made comments about my size (yes, it's only been women--men KNOW not to tell a woman she's big) don't have any children of their own and so I can give them the benefit of the doubt that they don't quite understand how hurtful that statement can be. There are only two people who've said this that I know were being catty. One I can forgive, because she's a friend and I have no doubt she was just trying to make herself feel better for her own pregnancy weight gain. (Which doesn't mean I didn't <i>really</i> want to point out that at least I don't look like a dumpling, round all over, and I did avoid her for a few weeks to calm down.) The other woman...well, there's a history there that I won't go into. Needless to say, I already couldn't stand her so her bitchiness is far less hurtful than the comment from an acquaintance who said, "Weren't you supposed to have that baby already? No?! Oh. ...Well, you're going to have a <i>biiiiiig</i>, healthy baby."<br />
The other annoying question I get seems so innocent at first. But, <i>everyone</i> seems to ask it and I think it's about the dumbest question ever. "Are you getting excited?" What do they expect me to say, no? Of course I'm flipping excited! If I wasn't so huge, I'd be doing backflips to show how excited I am. It's right up there with people asking the gender and when I tell them they say, "Ooh, are you excited?" Once again, of course I am. But not because she's a girl, I'm just excited because I'm having a baby. A healthy baby, at that! That is something to celebrate, but it should be obvious and you don't need to ask me if I'm excited. Just trust me, I am.<br />
Men can be weird about it all, and in such varying ways. Most ignore it, some (like my friend who touches my belly) are super excited about it, some are leery (as if it might be catching?), and some are just plain weird. There was the creepy guy in my office the other day who kept asking me questions with a weird smile. Maybe he was just trying to be nice, but I was just trying to work and I didn't want to play 20 Questions About the Baby Belly. It doesn't help that he started, randomly, with "So, does this mean you're having a baby?" "This"? I should have said that it was a tumor.<br />
I did also have a friend of a friend (who, for background, was asking weird questions all night, including if anyone would mind if he lit up a joint, in a place where no smoking is allowed) ask me randomly who my doctor is. I reacted a bit harshly, in part because he'd been so strange all night and partly because I was so sick of answering questions. So I said, "I'm not going to tell you that. You've basically just asked me who's been poking around inside my vagina, and I don't feel like telling you." He got offended and only <i>afterward</i> explained that, apparently, his wife works in healthcare and knows a number of the OBs in town. It would have helped had he lead with that information, but it's still a weird question for a man to ask a woman. Or am I the only one who feels that way? I think it was also the suddenness of it, and the awkwardly confrontational manner in which he asked it. Not jovial, or silly, or curious. More of a command than a question, like he expected an answer, or deserved one. He was just as awkward and socially inept every other time he opened his mouth, so I was out of patience.<br />
The one thing I don't get sick of is hearing my brothers answer their phones with, "Baby time? Or not yet?" They're so excited to become uncles, and they will be fantastic at it. Also, adorable. They will be adorable uncles. :)<br />
I'm also overwhelmed by the number of friends and family who've sent things to us. I got a message from a cousin the other day which basically came down to, "What will be the most helpful thing you still need?" It was like a long-distance hug, I felt so loved. She's sending a box with a few things she'd kept from when her own babies were babies. So while we have lots of baby stuff, we've bought basically none of it. One dress and one infant onesie (but only because they're blue and we needed something to go against all the pink): $4, used. One nasal aspirator and one set of baby nail clippers: $5. That's it. If you count the gift card, we bought a humidifier but spent $0 of our own money. If you count the things I've needed while pregnant, we've bought some prenatal vitamins (about $30 total), some maternity clothes (all used, some given to me, so we only spent about $35), and the healthcare costs. I will be getting a breast pump, but that's paid for by my insurance. That's it, and with it we have enough stuff to see her at least through her first six months, except for bottles and I'll probably ask for those for Christmas. (We'll need those, at the latest, when I go back to work.) Wouldn't you be amazed and grateful for all of that help? I am so, so lucky to have such a supportive network of people around me and I just hope that I can pass the helpfulness along when more of my friends start having babies.<br />
Finally, I have the dates my mother will visit! I'm excited for all of the other family who will be here for Thanksgiving, of course, but my mom has been so amazingly helpful through everything. Calming, sympathetic when I need it, and (after having four kids of her own) so knowledgeable. She, more than just about anyone else, has given off the vibe of, "What do you need from me? What can I do that will be most helpful for you and Shane as new parents?" (Rather than, "How often can I see the baby? It's all about the baby! <i>BABY!!!!!</i>") So she'll be here for two weeks to help out and I really couldn't be more excited.SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-34070531635481151342013-10-15T12:54:00.000-08:002013-10-15T12:54:11.137-08:00Gift card queenI'm still plugging along with some of my projects, both for Baby's imminent arrival (less than a month until our due date!) and for other things. For instance, one of my goals for quite a while has been to work on and give away more warm knitted items. Some will go to charity, some to friends. A worthy goal, right? Except I haven't done pretty much any of the projects that I wanted to do. I've been lazy and pushed them off. But, our apartment really is feeling cluttered with stuff, particularly now that we're adding in so much baby stuff. (Holy crap, that kid has a lot of clothes already!) So, one small part of decluttering is to actually use up some of my yarn stash. I have tons of yarn. Approximately six large bags worth. It's silly. What's even worse is that I have a few half-finished projects but would need to buy more yarn to finish them! Oy. So I'm working on the things that I can, for now. I'm making a hat for one of my friends, some socks for baby (and if I can get the pattern right, more socks for friends and family who are having babies of their own), and some Christmas gifts. If I have time, I'd also like to make a quick mobile to hang in Baby's closet. Nothing fancy. I'm thinking I'll just make crocheted balls of different colors and hang them from an embroidery hoop.<br />
I did actually get started on reorganizing our room and closet to make space for Baby. It seemed like such a daunting, cyclical task. I have to do X before Y, before Z, before A, before B...but that one requires X task be finished, otherwise it would be a huge mess. So I finally picked a spot and just started there. All of our baby clothes until about 3 months are washed, organized, and in our closet. Our nice clothes are in the closet in the spare bedroom (since we don't wear them that often) and our everyday clothes are now in the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Whitmor-6070-1723-Storage-Cubes-Black/dp/B000LRBSFI">wire cube things</a> next to the desk. (We've used the wire storage cubes as our clothing organizer for years now, rather than a bulky dresser, and it works out pretty well.) Not only this, but it's now doubling as a cat perch, so hopefully our cat will hang out with us more when we're back in the bedroom. (Usually he lurks in the hallway, staring in at me--not Shane, just me--and being a little creepy.) The one drawback to this: this morning he didn't want to let me get my underwear (in a basket in the top cube) and kept batting at my hands. I had to bop him (gently) on the head to get him to leave me alone. (He wasn't hurt, just offended.)<br />
I still need to make and set up the curtains to go over the closet, and we need to move the cradle in. (It needs some wood glue first, just to reinforce it.) We still need to figure out something for where to put dirty cloth diapers and wipes, where to keep baby blankets (the pets have tried to claim them, and I don't want them getting ruined by cat claws or the dog's incessant need to create a nest whenever she lies down), and what to do for changing diapers. We could use some baskets or something to keep a few items in the living room, except we don't have baskets and I don't feel like buying any. (It's not in our budget!) But, I'm sure that we'll get the necessary things done before Baby's arrival and the rest can be figured out after she's here.<br />
Because we had to move things around, it did necessitate a little bit more decluttering. I realized that there were a few clothes I owned which I could part with since I was mostly keeping them around because they're still in fine condition so I might as well, right? Never mind the fact that I didn't like them much and only ever wore them because I felt like I should. Not anymore, they're gone. I also have a couple of t-shirts which I wanted to hang onto but they don't look good on me. So, they're waiting for me to decide if they're really worth storing or if I should donate one and toss the other (not in donatable condition).<br />
I got Shane to help me pull down a box from the spare bedroom closet, one I've assumed was full of his stuff, only to find out that it was full of <i>my things</i>. Even better, when he pulled it down a bag full of empty soda bottles came down with it, which my little brother must have left in the room when he moved out. (Thanks.) And we found two small boxes of the Boy's stuff, as well. The things in my box all went immediately into the donate pile, the bottles into the recycling stash in the garage, and the boxes of the Boy's things are waiting for my parents to take them home to him when they visit. Even just going through that small amount of stuff is making me feel lighter, though. Better. It's amazing how getting rid of stuff can make you feel more organized, even if you really aren't.<br />
This doesn't really help with decluttering, but we do have a number of gift cards that we've received over the years and have never gotten around to using for one reason or another. Generally, it's because there isn't that store in town. Shane's family is big on sending gift cards, but terrible about remembering what stores we actually have in Fairbanks. *Shrug* But, I can't argue that they're not useful. We've just been a bit lazy about using them. I can't remember if I mentioned it or not, but we had an incredibly generous gift card to a certain home store that someone gave us for our wedding. Since we've accumulated plenty of kitchen items we either wanted to upgrade (bread pans, thermometer, measuring spoons) or didn't have (muffin pans, 4-cup Pyrex measuring cup) we went ahead and used it. We got some really nice, incredibly useful kitchen items and spent a grand total of $1 of our own money. (And the things which they're replacing, such as the bread pans, are getting donated.) They arrived only about a month ago and we've already used the least used of them (the muffin pans) three times. You can imagine how often the nice measuring spoons have been used! (Always, always get glass or metal kitchen utensils whenever possible. Plastic ones just suck.)<br />
We also need a humidifier. Our big old one that we have grew mold and we can't find any replacement filters. It's from the 70's (I think), enormous, probably a huge energy hog, and at this point pretty useless. So it's time to get rid of it. But a humidifier is very, very nice to have here. Already my hands are starting to peel and even crack because of the dry air. And that's after a rainy night! It gets much, much worse over the winter. So I used a gift card to another clothing/home store and found a humidifier. With shipping, there was $.24 left over on the gift card so $0 spent on our part. That makes me very happy.<br />
We have other gift cards, including two for other home/clothing stores. I'm keeping an eye out for flannel sheets, since we don't have any and the jersey sheets we got as a wedding gift have already worn out. I'll hang onto them and use the material for other projects as needed, but they've got a few large holes in them that make them not so nice for bedding anymore and that means we're effectively down to two sets of sheets, one for our bed and one for the guest bed. Not the worst situation, but since we have the means to fix it, why not? And, it's hard to argue against having a set of flannel sheets in Fairbanks.<br />SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-21199529632065720102013-09-30T14:34:00.000-08:002013-09-30T14:34:35.082-08:00Safe sex and meal planning. Not at the same time.Since the start of the new semester, I've noticed that a pregnant woman gets <i>A LOT</i> of attention on a college campus. I mean, my baby belly gets a lot of attention everywhere, but particularly here on campus where it's relatively rare to see. Add in the fact that I look like I could be a student and I get a lot of odd looks. There are smiles from older people, some smiles from young women and some sideways stares as if they're wondering if I'm pregnant because I'm trampy and slept around. Almost uniformly, however, young men give me a stare more like this: O_o I sincerely hope it's accompanied by the thought, "Oh, crap. Maybe I <i>should</i> go get some condoms, just in case...."<br />
Speaking of which, I got to be the condom fairy a few weeks ago. Strange thing, but it made me happy. When cleaning our apartment I found a few condoms from, well, before, and (after checking the expiration date) decided that we really don't need them. So how to get rid of them? Easy. When we went to the Pub one night I stuffed them in my purse. Carried my purse into the bathroom and left them in one of the stalls so that someone who might need them could anonymously take them. And take them someone did, since they were gone by the end of the evening. So here's to promoting safe sex, even in subtle ways.<br /><br />
We're finally getting some of the major reorganization projects done around the house. Well, one. It was a busy weekend, with one friend coming into town and another friend having a birthday party. So when Sunday rolled around we were both pretty tired and just wanted to have a lazy day. That didn't happen. Shane had a meeting for a project, I met with people for a "going away" lunch for the friend who was in town (and since I'd had breakfast only about an hour before, I didn't even order anything), and then there were myriad things around the house to take care of. Of course there were. If I'd known when I was a kid how many house chores were involved in being a grownup, I might not have considered the trade-off of "autonomy" vs. "chores" to be quite so one-sided.<br />
All this to say, we got the garage cleaned out! We have an interior place to park for the winter, which means no plugging in our car. Woo! This makes me so very happy, as it also means no running the car for a half hour before going anywhere to warm up the engine.<br />
We still haven't organized the closet, and I still haven't done anything about making curtains to block off Baby's area. But I'm really feeling the push to get things done and I know those will happen in the next week or two.<br /><br />
With the change in my schedule, and with Shane's crazy semester schedule, cooking is something which could fall through the cracks. However, we can't afford to get takeout every night, or even every week (or every month....) so I'm making a serious effort to really plan out our week's meals in advance and to be highly organized so that we have both dinners and lunches (leftovers!). The CrockPot is my savior, once again. And I'm trying some new recipes, just so we've got plenty of variety. Today's is <a href="http://www.amazingsouprecipes.com/stew-recipes/beef-stew/crock-pot-beef-stew-and-herb-dumplings/#.UknzndIqjzZ">this beef stew</a>, and later this week <a href="http://recipes.prevention.com/Recipe/apple-parsnip-soup.aspx">this apple-parsnip soup</a>. (Shane's not a fan of parsnips so he's wary. Also, he doesn't like the texture of pureed soups so to add a bit of texture I'm going to throw some chicken-apple sausages in there.) A friend sent me a recipe for Mexican chicken soup, so that will be going on our menu soon too, along with <a href="http://thecheapskatecook.com/2011/09/21/easy-slow-cooker-tomato-soup/">this tomato soup</a> and <a href="http://www.amazingsouprecipes.com/soup-recipes/potato-soup/easy-potato-soup-recipe/cream-of-potato-soup-with-bacon/#.Uknz-tIqjzY">this cream of potato soup with bacon</a>. Because bacon.<br />
If I need a quick bread pairing with any of these soups (other than the tomato soup, which will of course have the traditional grilled cheese with it), I've got <a href="http://moneysavingmom.com/2013/02/homemade-freezer-biscuits-recipe.html#_a5y_p=904948">these freezer biscuits</a> which will be super easy to make. And of course, I'll let you know which of these recipes are winners. Because everyone could do with a few extra easy meals in their repertoire.<br />
I did try making <a href="http://www.chubbyveganmom.com/2012/10/pumpkin-cinnamon-buns-courtesy-of-your.html">these pumpkin cinnamon rolls</a>, which were deemed half successful. I thought they were ok, Shane didn't. I'll make them again sometime, but I'll try baking them like regular cinnamon rolls, rather than in the Crockpot, and see if that helps. Also, since they're from a vegan blog and we are most assuredly not vegan, I changed the recipe to this:<br /><br />
<b>Pumpkin Cinnamon Rolls</b><br />
3 1/2 cups flour, plus enough extra to make it properly doughy/roll out<br />
1/4 cup sugar<br />
1 tsp yeast<br />
1/2 cup milk<br />
1 tsp vanilla<br />
3/4 cup pumpkin<br />
1 egg<br /><br />
Filling:<br />
1/3 cup butter<br />
1/3 cup brown sugar<br />
cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves to taste (a bit heavier on cinnamon and nutmeg, lighter on the cloves)<br /><br />
I suggest baking them (probably at 350^ until done) and then smothering them with cream cheese frosting. For health.<br />
I don't want to give the impression that we're only eating from the CrockPot. Whenever we've got time, or can make time, we actually cook. Last Thursday, Shane decided that since he hadn't cooked in nearly two weeks, and missed it, he wanted to make dinner. This meant starting dinner at 9:00. So I snacked in the afternoon (but was still plenty hungry by dinnertime) and got everything chopped, prepped and ready for him. It could have sucked, eating so late, but it didn't. And it was not only nice for him to do something he enjoyed toward the end of a crazy, busy week but also for me to have a bit of a break from the kitchen. (Yes, at this point *only* chopping vegetables constitutes a break from the kitchen.)<br /><br />
After the first snowfall I had Shane bring my small carrot boxes inside, but the large planter boxes were far too large to carry into the garage so I left them out there figuring that the next time I needed carrots I'd go pull them from there. I finally did that. Only six of my large carrots actually germinated, so it wasn't the greatest haul. However, I did get a good laugh since all but one of them was mutated in some way!
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUHSvbZpk9RihEDvbZJ0yf5oQdlD7_kskeOoSDynddvLM9HhYVx-STgkpR_Wjucl-_FD6VbqoavW0SSD6V7KLgD9S5r1FNs9snkrQ6buFvddsmQjA-ZZ3ghyaBmpqjzWepFDeiGzNSX2pM/s1600/IMG_0188%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUHSvbZpk9RihEDvbZJ0yf5oQdlD7_kskeOoSDynddvLM9HhYVx-STgkpR_Wjucl-_FD6VbqoavW0SSD6V7KLgD9S5r1FNs9snkrQ6buFvddsmQjA-ZZ3ghyaBmpqjzWepFDeiGzNSX2pM/s320/IMG_0188%5B1%5D.JPG" /></a></div><br />
I love the small round one which looks kind of like a bear claw. Even better, Shane came home and when he saw them lying on the counter asked, "Where the heck did you buy these carrots from?" :)SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-63299768057829323192013-09-24T10:09:00.003-08:002013-09-24T10:09:52.892-08:00Millions of tiny happinessesMy library ebook copy of Gretchen Rubin's "The Happiness Project" is finally mine (for a short time) and I've been very much enjoying reading it. Like, 'I would recommend this book to pretty much anyone' levels of enjoyment. Why? What makes reading about someone else's project to be just a bit happier so rewarding? Well, lots of things. For starters, it's a helpful place to think about your own happiness (and she repeatedly outlines why this is a worthy goal--such as the facts that happier people tend to make those around them happier, and they are more generous). Are you happy? If so, why or why not? What makes you happy and why don't you do more of it? Like Gretchen herself, I struggle with these sometimes. I push off the things which make me happy for the things which I <i>should</i> do instead. And there is happiness in having a clean house, but there is also happiness in taking a relaxing bath when I need it and I don't do that nearly enough.<br />
Some of what she says are her weaknesses, her faults, resonate with me. Probably the biggest was when she described herself as a score-keeper, particularly with her spouse. I have to admit, I <i>really</i> hate this quality about myself, but I'm also a score keeper with Shane. He is with me as well, but of the two of us I'm probably far worse. I'm sure that on my end it has something to do with growing up as one of four siblings, learning to keep track and keep score so that I don't miss out on my fair share of good things (dessert!) or end up with a disproportionate amount of bad things like chores. However, this isn't an excuse for keeping score <i>in my marriage</i>. Really, it's a horrible way to look at things. "I did X chore, so it's not fair that I should also have to do Y chore as well." It's a "wah! poor me!" attitude and I really want to break myself of it, but of course a change such as that, a change in your entire attitude, is hard to do. Probably if I worked on it every day for the next year I would still find it hard at the end of that year.<br />
Compounding this, I am pregnant. 33 weeks! The end is in sight (and yet, that makes for the beginning of another tough but rewarding chapter in life: motherhood). I have zero stamina, lots to do, insomnia because I'm the size of a hippo so I'm tired all the time, and dammit, <i>I deserve a little extra special treatment!</i> Everyone tells me so. I tell myself that.<br />
But...doesn't Shane deserve a bit of coddling too? He's taking seventeen credits of classes this semester. All told, between class and homework, it's more than a full-time job, <i>and</i> he's working on top of it. (Still helping our elderly friends up the hill to clear their trees, and got a few hours a week in the computer lab--at least he's allowed to do homework during the lab time when someone doesn't need his help!) Not only is he putting so much effort into this semester, but it's not even the fun classes. Three of them are hard, and only tangentially related to the programming that he's interested in: physics, calc 3, and statistics. These classes suck. Physics sucks even more because of the way the class is structured (it's an evening class and homework is due by midnight the night of class...so 5 hours to get it all done, and that's true even for the Friday night class!) and because the professor...well, I'm not in the class so I don't know if he's got tenure and has just stopped caring, or if his teaching style just isn't for Shane, but it's hard. Even with a friend's help, the homework takes hours every week. My poor guy looks so frazzled. Just because things are a little harder on me doesn't mean I should add to his burden. So what if I had to do all of the hand washing, <i>again</i>, because he was too busy, you know, <i>doing homework</i>? What makes my contribution to the household more special or more worthy than his?<br />
On top of everything else, we don't get to spend much time together right now, for obvious reasons. When I have time, he doesn't. When he's free, I'm working or doing homework. Between Monday and Friday of last week, I'd estimate that we only got to spend about 3 hours of quality time together, and most of that was while we ate dinner for a few quick minutes or did a little bit of cleaning up together. Wheeeee. On Friday night, we ended up snapping at each other a couple of times, not because we were mad at each other but because we were frustrated by the situation. Thankfully, we did each explain ourselves so what could easily have devolved into an argument turned into hugs and sympathy for how hard we've each been working.<br />
So this leads to the biggest reason why I'm enjoying this book: it's making me think more about gratitude. Instead of being upset by these hardships, I'm going to do my best to undertake a more grateful way of thinking about them. Instead of mentally whinging because we <i>only</i> got to spend a few minutes together eating a dinner that <i>I</i> had to make, <i>again</i>, I would like to be grateful that I have a husband who will take a few minutes out of his busy day to eat dinner with me, even if it means staying up that much later to finish his homework, and who is grateful in return that I took time out of my busy, tiring day to make dinner and have it waiting for him when he got home.<br />
As the saying goes, instead of being upset that I have to do the dishes, I should be thankful for what those dishes represent: food on the table and someone I love to share it with. Not everyone gets to say the same.<br />
Along with gratitude needs to come that buzzword which I really dislike for some reason, but which really fits: mindfulness. Since we'd spent so much time apart last week, when Shane asked me what I wanted to do on Saturday night I told him that, honestly, I wanted to hang out at home with him. Instead of saying that he wanted to go out and see people, which he usually does after a hermit-like week of schoolwork, he said, "Sounds great! There are a few movies we haven't seen yet that I'd like to watch." So we sat in bed the entire evening and watched movies. We cuddled the dog, we made hot chocolate from scratch, and it was beautiful. I just didn't realize how great it was until this morning when I was wishing that I was back in bed, cuddled up with him and sipping cocoa, laughing about something together. At the time, I was so tired from the week that I didn't stop to fully appreciate how wonderful those moments were. Now that I can't get them back is when I'm realizing just how good I had it.<br />
I must admit, it's easier at this time of year for me to be grateful. I know it just officially became autumn according to the calendar, but we've already had our first couple of light dustings of snow, which didn't stick but are a poignant reminder of how fleeting the seasons are. The trees are still in their golden glory, but not for much longer. The air is chilled and perfect. It's my favorite time of year, when I'm so happy to snuggle into sweaters once again, and to curl up with a good book and something hot to drink--warm milk and honey, hot cocoa, hot apple cider.... It's the time of year to make gingerbread cookies and to really savor all of the flavors of the season. So many good things are coming my way. And the holidays, while still distant, will be upon us before we know it, with all the attendant fun activities and family time. How could that not foster gratitude?SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-66973134693693359982013-09-19T11:54:00.000-08:002013-09-19T11:54:35.374-08:00How to make the most of your library experience: Don't piss off the librarianI don't usually think of my job as a "customer service" job. It is, and I do know that, but tucked away in our little corner of the University, most people don't even realize we exist. The people who do know about us are generally so happy that we exist, and use our resources so much, that they love us. Consequently, I avoid roughly 95% of all "customer service" related bullshit. In over four years of working here, I've only had to deal with a handful of truly rude or annoying patrons.<br />
Which is not to say that I don't have problem patrons. It's just not the major problems that other places have. We get the little annoyances, the things that people without severe mental or emotional problems (I've had to deal with a few of those) bring to the library without seeming to realize it. Pretty much anyone who's going to read this will, I assume, be smart enough to know not to go to the library drunk. Most people will understand that, while looking at porn on a library computer is not technically illegal, it is gross. Doing more than just watching said porn, however, is completely illegal. (That doesn't stop people from doing it.) There are serious, gross, and flat-out creepy problems which librarians have to deal with and which most people don't even think of. Several of our librarians had to go on a hunt for whoever was downloading and printing pictures of child porn. When they called police and caught the guy, it turned out that he had an outstanding warrant on a charge of child molestation. Lovely, right? <i>This didn't even occur at a public library. This was a University library.</i> Public librarians have it so, so much worse.<br />
There are entire meetings I've been to discussing the porn policy (where does the line get drawn between legitimate research--there are a few classes which could/do require students to look at what would otherwise be questionable material, and not all students have personal computers--and someone just getting their jollies watching porn in public?) or discussing what to do if someone's passed out. Are they drunk, or could it be a serious medical condition making them appear so? Where do these lines get drawn?<br />
What I'm talking about are not the gray areas. These are things which people should know how to do, and just don't. These are the things which piss me off. Give me ten people with mental illnesses over one person who comes to me with a combative attitude, acting like I'm their servant.<br />
To be clear, I am not, strictly speaking, a librarian. I haven't gotten my MLS (master's of library science) degree. I'm just a lowly library technician. A staff person. However, I sit at the front circulation desk. Our librarian handles the major issues, while my coworker and I handle the day-to-day running of our little demesne, including dealing with the patrons. Even better, mine is the first desk people get to when they need to speak to someone. So when we do get a lousy, annoying, or just plain rude patron, they come to me first.<br />
So here are just a few problems that I've had over the years, and why they are problems.<br /><br />
1. It's such a simple thing, but <b>push in your chairs</b>. Seriously, you should have learned how to do this in kindergarten. I don't understand it, but very few people actual feel that they need to bother pushing in their chairs at the library. Consequently, they block aisles and create a less welcoming atmosphere for everyone. Every time I get up from my desk I end up walking around pushing in chairs that people have left strewn everywhere. It's annoying.<br /><br />
2. <b>Don't be rude to your fellow patrons.</b> I'm not talking about outright rudeness, here, (which is a huge problem but also falls under the heading of "I'm sure if you're reading this, you already know not to do these things" category outlined above) but about small rudenesses. Don't chat loudly on your cell phone. Don't take up lots of space <i>because you can</i>, spreading your bag, coat, laptop, etc., all around over several different desks, chairs, or tables. Someone else might need that space. Someone else might want to get through that aisle. Don't be a dick.<br /><br />
3. <b>Don't whine about how hard you've got it and why that exempts you from the rules.</b> Seriously. This is probably the most common type of complaint we get. One woman is so infamous for it that we groan when she comes in. My favorite is her complaint, "But <i>I have children</i>." This excuse has been used for everything from why she can't turn in any book on time to why we're jerks for sending an ILL book back to the library which owns it before she could pick it up, even though she had a month in which to come pick it up before it was due. Congrats on your fertility, lady! That doesn't exempt you from library rules. You are not special. Your failure to plan ahead is not our fault, so don't try to make it our problem. We will not sympathize.<br /><br />
4. <b>Read the signs we have posted. They're posted for a reason.</b> It amazes me how many people come into the library and just...don't read things. We have pretty much all of our rules posted somewhere or another. We've got signs up <i>everywhere</i> in an effort to show people where things are. We definitely have patrons who never need to interact with us unless they're checking out items, because they've actually read the signs. Then there are the patrons who won't even read the colorful sign I have posted on the front of my desk, and get pouty when I point it out to them. It's a sign asking people to stand <i>in front</i> of my desk, rather than coming around to stand by my side, both because it's creepy when they invade my space and, more importantly, for privacy issues. Speaking of privacy issues....<br /><br />
5. <b>Don't assume that we're keeping things from you to be jerks. There are an amazing number of legal issues surrounding libraries and the information we have access to.</b> We have an incredible amount of personal information about people in our database: names, phone numbers, addresses--all to get in touch with people when we need to, but still personal info--and since we're a University, ID #s which can access all kinds of other personal scholarly information, such as transcripts. Not to mention, information on what books people have checked out (yes, that information is legally protected). People are always shocked and generally a little pissed off when I can't do something for them which would infringe on someone else's library information. We had a woman in the other day asking if her husband had checked out a book. When I told her that I couldn't legally answer that question she said, "But he's my husband!" Sure. But you don't have proof of that, and even if you did I still wouldn't be able to tell you because there are laws protecting that information. Yes, even from spouses.<br />
We also have patrons asking to check out books that are on hold for other people, on the other person's behalf. We can't let you do that for a variety of reasons, including those pesky privacy laws again. I realize it can be inconvenient, but you're not only asking me to break library rules for you, you're asking me to break the law.<br /><br />
6. <b>Don't, for the love of all things holy, assume that we will do all of your work for you.</b> The one thing I see most commonly, and which drives me craziest, are the people who walk up to my desk first thing and say, "Where do I find this?" My first question for them is, "Have you tried looking in the catalog?" Half the time they say no, and I mentally categorize them (fairly or not) as lazy. Sometimes, I do realize, it's a matter of telling them how to get access to the catalog. (It's online, just like everything else these days.) But I actually had one conversation go like this:<br />
Me: Did you look in the catalog?<br />
Patron: No.<br />
Me: Well, you can look it up in the online library catalog from any of those computers over there. It will be the homepage, so it's really easy.<br />
Patron: But I wanted you to do it.<br />
Me: ...But I'm showing you how to do it, so that you don't need to come and ask me every time you want to look up a book.<br />
Patron: Yeah, I still want you to do it for me.<br />
At this point, I was super annoyed and wanted to tell this guy, "Go fuck off, it's not my job to coddle you and enable your laziness." Of course, I couldn't say that. I ended up looking up the book for him, but I did let my annoyance show through. It would have taken this guy less time to look it up himself than he spent arguing with me about who should look it up. I got the impression that he was being a douche because he could, and because he thought it should be my job to cater to him. That is not, ever, the purpose of a librarian. Yes, we're here to help. But using a library correctly is not difficult, and it is a skill that all people should learn. When you don't bother to try learning, you're not going to get the most helpful service.<br /><br />
7. <b>Don't ever think that you know more about the library's resources than the library worker you're talking to.</b> This one happened just this morning, as it turns out. The very first thing I had to deal with when I got to work was an angry phone call from someone who was <i>pissed</i> that he couldn't find the information he needed. I realized pretty quickly that he was looking in the wrong place on the website but every time I tried to explain how to get to the information he needed he swore he was looking at the place I wanted to navigate him to and would rant for a bit about how awful our website is. ("When I type in the title of this journal, it's not even the first thing that comes up! It's, like the seventh, and that's just crazy." I wanted to ask if he'd ever used a database before, and if he understood how they work. Do you always accept your first Google hit?) If he'd have shut up for 30 seconds, it would have been a much faster and more pleasant conversation. As it was, I had to endure several minutes of him talking about how horrible our website is, and by extension the library and everyone who works here. Not productive, dude. I finally got him to listen to me, explained a few things to him, and then how to get what he wanted. All the while, I had to endure more verbal abuse about how bad our service is. Thanks. Once again, if you're willing to learn then I'm willing to teach you. If you're not willing to learn how to use the library resources properly, then there's really nothing I can do for you. You're going to have a bad time, and it's going to be all your fault. I just can't say it that way to you.<br /><br />
8. <b>Don't lie to us.</b> It's pure stupidity on your part to assume that we can't see through your lies. Just because we don't call you on them every time doesn't mean that we believe you. The third time you come in with some lame and generally convoluted story about <i>why</i> you can't turn in something on time, I'm not going to be happy with you and I will let it show. Because the why isn't actually my problem. You checked out the item, and by doing so you need to understand that....<br /><br />
9. <b>Checking out a library item is sort of like signing a contract.</b> You agree to borrow it for a certain amount of time, and we should have a reasonable expectation that you will bring it back at least close to the time it's due. We explain when an item might have a fine attached to it so that you know beforehand. And usually, we're pretty nice. We'll waive fees all the time, knowing that a) students are poor and b) life happens. But when it's a consistent problem on your end, then expect the library to have a problem with you. You are not the only person in the world, nor are you the only person who might want to borrow the item you've taken out. We have rules about borrowing periods for a reason. If you're not following them, that's your fault. You knew what you were getting into when you checked the item out.<br /><br />
10. <b>Understand that we have lives outside of the library.</b> When I tell you that the library is closing, I mean that it's closing. I have a home and a family to get back to, and you're infringing on that. When I say "we're closed", I don't mean 15 minutes from now, I mean now. The fact that you didn't get all of your online shopping done before the library closed is not my problem, but you're making it mine. And I'm not being a douche for saying that I'll call security to have them escort you out, I'm trying to let you understand what a douche you're being <i>to me</i>. Once again, we have our hours signs posted all over the place. If you ask, we'll tell you when we close. I go around the library before closing to let people know, hey, we're closing up soon. It is not a surprise, and once again you don't get to be the special exempted person for whom the rules don't apply. You're just being an ass. Now get the fuck out of my library and let me go home.SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-14216912982025386982013-09-18T14:47:00.000-08:002013-09-18T14:47:38.348-08:00ShoweredThis last Saturday, my friends threw a baby shower for me. It was actually held at my apartment, and I consulted a lot with the friend who was organizing it, so I guess I sort of threw it for myself too.<br />
I'm not sure how I feel about baby showers and wedding showers and such. I know a lot of minimalists decry the tradition, and having the attention on me makes me uncomfortable, but I do also understand that some people <i>love</i> the tradition and don't feel right about things unless a woman has a baby shower or wedding shower or whatever. And I'm not opposed to it, necessarily, just because I feel awkward about being the center of attention for doing nothing more than procreating. Yeah, it's a big deal to have a baby in one sense (yay, babies!), but in another...women all over the world do this all the time. It's special, and yet it's not. I think this, and the blatant consumerism which is encouraged by baby showers, is where my ambivalence comes from.<br />
Part of what makes a shower awkward for me is the expectation that people will bring gifts. Not only am I the center of attention, but I really, really hate the idea of making my friends feel obligated to give me things. So I tried to make that very clear, but no one seems to have taken me seriously since they all brought gifts anyway. I'm not complaining here, they gave us wonderful and useful things. Books for Baby (good ones, too, like Dr. Seuss books and The Berenstain Bears), bibs, socks, a blanket with monsters on the fabric. The <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fred-FIER-Mustache-Pacifier/dp/B007M2OG86">mustachifier</a>. Even baby wash/shampoo, which is always handy.<br />
Shane has been complaining for a while that we don't have any bath toys. Seriously. He's kept an old squirt bottle which used to hold body wash so that he can play around with squirting water in the shower. My ridiculous spouse will never grow up. Well, now he's got some bath toys. I'm pretty sure that I will never get to give our daughter a bath because Shane will be so excited to play with the toys that he'll take over. (Again, not complaining!)<br />
The biggest thing we got was one that I was starting to get nervous about not having: a carseat. This came from Shane's parents, of course, (his mom came up for the shower) and I feel a little guilty that they spent so much money but, at the same time, incredibly, unspeakably grateful to them. It's the carseat I wanted, which is a combination seat and not just a strictly infant seat like some. This one will be good until about the time Baby needs to move into a booster.<br />
Being among the first of our friends in Fairbanks to have a kid means that a lot of the bigger items can't come second hand. I didn't really have to decide about how I'd feel about a used carseat because it wasn't an option at all. When I first got pregnant, I thought perhaps we could borrow an infant seat from our friends, until it turned out that they were also expecting another little one. It's going to be the same thing when the time comes for us to need something like a highchair, and a slightly bigger crib. However, for those things I have zero qualms about buying used.<br />
Anyway, the shower was such fun. A bunch of fun ladies gathered together for an afternoon/evening to chat and eat and have a grand time together. The spouses and boyfriends and a few other people gathered at someone else's house to play cards. I got to have a hilarious moment when Shane was gathering stuff together to head out because he told a friend over the phone that we had a bottle of rum which he could bring. I said, "Hey! I wanted that for the baby shower!" I got a dropped jaw and stuttered, "Wh...what?" Until I started laughing, that is, and he realized that I was joking.<br />
Instead of playing baby shower games (have you ever looked at those? they're <i>horrible</i>!!) my friend bought some stuff so that we could make a quilt. Everyone decorated squares with fabric pens. Mine, of course, said, "Welcome, tiny overlord." My friends have skills, though, and they did some really adorable squares. We joked about writing very adult messages on there, things like, "Don't drink and drive" or "Never sign a contract without reading the fine print". Like horrible baby names, I think it's much funnier to joke about that than actually do it.<br />
My poor dog didn't understand what was going on at all, so of course she got nervous. She spent a good portion of the party thrusting her head at me for reassuring pets. The cat simply hid in a cabinet in the kitchen. Our friend had to bring her 2-year-old, which of course no one minded (she's adorable!) and had brought some balloons as decoration. The 2-year-old couldn't get enough of those balloons. When I fed our pets, I thought perhaps that people had been around long enough that I could lure the cat out of hiding and it seemed like it would work, until the 2-year-old started banging on the balloons and cackling loudly. Nope, cat was back in the deepest recesses of the cabinet. So I fed him in there.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKvhrn1BJDe7JHDbLN9mHldRN0sew3TE5WhHYXw1PNUrRdVG3gPRJejaH_AGy21NigbaBwydxe4JPJUAM-MATshrdWZkCFGfhPWZkUDZ38HhCx8NlN6V9jWB-MNmOtFFSokdT6Ny7ptgkz/s1600/Picture+1011.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKvhrn1BJDe7JHDbLN9mHldRN0sew3TE5WhHYXw1PNUrRdVG3gPRJejaH_AGy21NigbaBwydxe4JPJUAM-MATshrdWZkCFGfhPWZkUDZ38HhCx8NlN6V9jWB-MNmOtFFSokdT6Ny7ptgkz/s320/Picture+1011.jpg" /></a></div><br />
At the end of the day, when everyone went home, I went for a walk with the dog and my MIL, then we watched "Despicable Me" (she'd never seen it before!) and went to bed. It was a lovely ending to the day. Shane woke me up when he got home and we chatted for probably about an hour in the wee hours of the morning. For some reason, I love those moments. The quiet house, the lateness of the hour making it seem sneaky and forbidden but we're up anyway, alone in our little world together. I hope that feeling carries through to when I'm waking up at night to feed and change Baby.<br /><br /><br />
I still need to clean out our closet so that we can move the baby stuff in there. Shane keeps saying, "I'm waiting until the last minute for that," and I keep trying to convince him that, at 32 weeks, this <i>is</i> the last minute.<br /><br /><br />
We had our first snowfall this morning. It didn't stick around, but it's a clear sign that winter is almost upon us. So many things are changing, but they're good and happy changes. I'm excited for the new season, and the new direction my life is going to take very soon.SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-30977702354874146092013-09-16T21:23:00.001-08:002013-09-16T21:23:33.121-08:00One old sheetTrying to re-thread my serger makes me think of this silly quote: "Like Sisyphus, I am bound to Hell." My serger was a hand-me-down from my MIL, who bought a new one in the last year or so and gave me her old one. (She was under the impression that a new one would solve some of the frustrations she had with the old one, only to find out that, no, those are simply serger frustrations and had nothing to do with the age of the machine.) I'd pulled it out a few weeks ago determined to get some of my projects done, only to end up (45 minutes later) frustrated and angry with the machine, with not a single thing sewn. I put it away for a bit, knowing that my MIL would be in town this weekend, for my baby shower, and that I could ask for her help re-threading it then.<br />
Well, thankfully it wasn't just me. I mentioned the serger problems to a friend who does quite a bit of sewing and she commiserated with me about what a pain in the butt sergers are to thread. So I felt a little less incompetent. And my MIL did help, which took about another 45 minutes of threading and re-threading and re-threading...until we finally got it working properly. Then we had to rush off and get her to the airport. :)<br />
Even after all of that, I only managed to do about half of what I wanted to get done before one of the spools ran out of thread. Shane wanted to go across town to the beer supply store anyway so he could start a new brew, and it happens to be right next to the craft store so we went together and I got new thread. (I even had a couple of 40% off coupons which I got to use!) Which meant having to re-thread the serger, again and again and again.... I got it working and a few small items later, another spool ran out of thread. I'd seen it coming, though, and bought several spools of thread, so it was no big deal except for the re-threading. Shane was in the living room working on his bike (the derailleur cable broke, so he was putting in a new one) while I was re-threading the serger and he kept laughing at me while I was cursing the machine and yelling at it. "You're threaded, dammit, WORK! Oh, you sonofabitch machine...." Not that Shane was really any better, either, muttering to his bike and sighing over the cable. But we both prevailed and got our things working.<br />
In any case, though it took most of an afternoon, I got the projects I'd had waiting finished. Wooo! All of them came from one old, queen-sized top sheet. The bottom sheet had ripped horribly (Shane's fault, of course) several years ago and I kept the top sheet because it might be useful "someday". And it has been, don't get me wrong. When we had to cage our cat after <a href="http://sisterx83.blogspot.com/2012/10/its-trauma-for-whole-family.html">he broke his femur</a> last year, we used this sheet in the bottom of the <a href="http://sisterx83.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-saddest-sight.html">recovery palace</a>. When we've needed a dropcloth for non-greasy projects, this sheet has been pulled out. But it's nothing that I feel bad about cutting up, either. So about half the sheet has now been cut into small-ish pieces for several different projects.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPrLLHDGP5kgB5GKkmvaqdToE36vTrqRq_IXPHZAF362Nk1dUB7wJ7VzYYkP_9wLOQVlvMtnpT-qk2sVQgPqk6FeGnUycS7X42o5id2za__osyQMGQpxnJp3UHjjuVeqNxAmsrRBXDuQJR/s1600/Picture+1012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPrLLHDGP5kgB5GKkmvaqdToE36vTrqRq_IXPHZAF362Nk1dUB7wJ7VzYYkP_9wLOQVlvMtnpT-qk2sVQgPqk6FeGnUycS7X42o5id2za__osyQMGQpxnJp3UHjjuVeqNxAmsrRBXDuQJR/s200/Picture+1012.jpg" /></a></div>
The first is that I wanted to make reusable cloth baby butt wipes. If we're going for cloth diapers, might as well go all the way and use cloth wipes, right? And it's not like they're hard to make. Even for a beginning sewer such as myself, these were ridiculously easy. I cut out squares of fabric and simply serged the edges. That's it. We now have a nice stack of baby wipes, which can get washed along with the cloth diapers. As for what goes on them and makes them wipes, from what I've read all you need at first is just a bit of water. (After all, it's more than we adults do for ourselves!) You can add a bit of baby wash to the water as well, but it's not totally necessary, especially for newborns. We'll figure out what works best for us once she's here. But this is one less thing that we need to buy.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsmPp1WvDtViw50sopOnC6iID72FUQyV8pdo66zOOkxgMtY_9aQHHGpN2jQL0ZnIzzUf2Umz3paev1WQHE-kDlC3bJ2nlB9lJmarOShaATt8v533yq3D5TpnEz0d0ha41N9C02EALG7e9j/s1600/Picture+1013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsmPp1WvDtViw50sopOnC6iID72FUQyV8pdo66zOOkxgMtY_9aQHHGpN2jQL0ZnIzzUf2Umz3paev1WQHE-kDlC3bJ2nlB9lJmarOShaATt8v533yq3D5TpnEz0d0ha41N9C02EALG7e9j/s200/Picture+1013.jpg" /></a></div>
And to be clear, I'm certain that there will be times and circumstances for which we'll buy disposable wipes and diapers. I've accepted that fact. But with all of this planning and prep, we'll have to buy far fewer of those items than the average family, which will not only save lots of money but will prevent garbage as well. I like both of those things.<br />
The second item I made was a rice heating pad for my back. It's not aching as much as it was at one point, but I figure it's hard to go wrong with having a heating pad on hand. Apparently a lot of nursing mothers end up with aching backs too, and, well, life causes aches and pains. Now we can fix ourselves. [Picture to the lower left is halfway through making the heating pad. I sectioned it so that the rice doesn't all fall to one side.]<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirkwkoauk9kR0QrnR2N5N1kqzDdkvNgLYM74w5junfXWZyzBm35DwaAH9G3nLgFlLwOy8G6ANchNVfCPBC8cnOacu2m3pNoHHnEnsh-yS9JlNck89bOCeVeyWOM4NUvHWwUt9TZv2eQmIO/s1600/Picture+1014.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirkwkoauk9kR0QrnR2N5N1kqzDdkvNgLYM74w5junfXWZyzBm35DwaAH9G3nLgFlLwOy8G6ANchNVfCPBC8cnOacu2m3pNoHHnEnsh-yS9JlNck89bOCeVeyWOM4NUvHWwUt9TZv2eQmIO/s200/Picture+1014.jpg" /></a></div>
I used a lot of rice yesterday. Not that it's terrible, since rice is so cheap, but I still cringed a little. The final item I made was a rice draft dodger for under the front door. There's a decent sized gap and in the winter we can feel a draft at foot level. We had a towel that we put in front of the door, but this is a more elegant solution, and easier to deal with. Since it was so long and I knew I'd use lots of rice, I also stuffed it in a few places with fabric scraps from my earlier projects. It's not much, but it displaced a little bit of the rice and, again, kept me from throwing that fabric away.<br />
I'm so excited to have the serger working that I'm wondering what other things I can make? Beginner projects only, of course. One idea is to make a couple of baby changing pads for around the house, but for that I need to buy some towels from Value Village first. (Also, if I don't get around to actually making a cute little changing pad and instead just have towels on the floor, it's not a big deal to us, so this isn't a priority.) We also don't have anywhere to put said cloth diapers and wipes yet, so I'm thinking of going to the craft store and finding some water resistant/waterproof fabric and an embroidery hoop to line an old pillowcase (we have lots of those, too). It would <a href="http://www.laundrybags.com/t-pillowcase_laundry_bag.aspx">look something like this</a> and I could just throw the whole thing in the washing machine with the diapers. Also, since it would hang in the closet, it would keep things off the floor and out of temptation range for the dog.<br />
In the meantime, I'm going to work on making some baby socks. I'll post the pattern later, if I can get it to work, but I'm basing it roughly on the sock pattern I used for my <a href="http://sisterx83.blogspot.com/2012/09/socks.html">Forty-Below Socks</a> (which are the knee-high socks in one of the Stitch 'N Bitch books). Of course, I'm using much, <i>much</i> thinner yarn and size two needles for these socks, rather than sweater-weight yarn and size 5 needles as I did before. We'll see how they turn out. If it works well, I know I'll have plenty of yarn leftover so I'll make a few pairs as gifts for friends and family who are having babies.SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3659095897820469614.post-73479844506450163972013-09-09T14:25:00.000-08:002013-09-09T14:25:00.482-08:00BoomMe: "She's getting enormous."<br />
Shane: "Stop talking about yourself in the third person."<br /><br /><br /><br />
31 weeks, and I'm starting to get a bit weary of being pregnant. Mostly, the waiting. I'm not a patient person in general, and waiting for something so momentous which, really, I can't plan for as much as I'd like (I don't get to pick my due date, or how I'll react to the pain, etc.) is getting tiresome. Even Shane said the other day, "Yeah, now that the shock of 'holy shit, I'm going to be a dad' has worn off, I just want it to start already."<br />
Of course, the aches and pains, the not being able to breathe or bend over very far, the not sleeping well because of all of this, and the subsequent exhaustion are starting to take their toll as well. That might have something to do with my impatience. And still, I am so lucky because this has been relatively easy on me! No health problems for either of us, no excessive weight gain for me, etc. So I do, constantly, remind myself of that. But at this stage, being pregnant will never be easy.<br />
I still have plans for organizing and decluttering and getting ready for Baby's big arrival that I want to set in motion and yet...I have no motivation for most of it. I'm so tired. Can't I just lie down and read for the next two months?<br />
My usual marathon of preserving food is more like a 3-legged race for turtles this year. A bit derpy, not quite sure what direction I want to go, and very, very slow. My laziness has paid off in one way, though: I finally used my food processor in the way it should be used. I had TONS of rhubarb to process, so that I can make Ginger Rhubarb Marmalade (recipe courtesy of my MIL), and instead of chopping or cutting it all by hand I took the lazy/easy way and pulled out the food processor. Because this is exactly the kind of thing we got it for. I feel ridiculous for not using it as much in the past because it made chopping the rhubarb the work of about 10 minutes.<br />
And when I say tons of rhubarb, it's not too much of an exaggeration. Some of this will get given away as gifts, the rest will stay with me and go on muffins and toast and all kinds of other yummy things. Because it's amazing, and tasty, and perfect.<br />
I'm just waiting for the stores to get more crystalized ginger candy in bulk.<br /><br /><br />
Thanks to our recent Costco run, we have tons of food in the house. Other than needing a few perishables every week (fruit, milk) we don't have to buy really anything. We've got two weeks' worth of menu items simply with what we have on hand.<br />
BUT...<br />
Oh boy. Saturday night, we decided to make salmon chowder. It's Shane's recipe, but I generally act as sous chef when he cooks. (He does the same for me a lot, too.) The way we make it, the salmon fillet gets cooked in the oven first, while the vegetables cook and get soft in the soup pot, then the salmon gets added to the soup along with the cream base and everything simmers for about 20 minutes before we eat. Well, Shane pulled out the Pyrex baking dish and set it on the stove, not realizing that he'd left the burner under it on after making the roux. After getting everything set up to simmer, we fed the pets and I decided to do a load of dishes to clean up a bit pre-dinner and BOOM! The Pyrex exploded everywhere. I mean everywhere. The poor cat was gone in a heartbeat, terrified out of his mind. The dog, after one stunned minute, tried to go back to eating her dinner (there were salmon skins in it!) and we had to pull her away because there was glass in her bowl. We even had to throw away our entire pot of soup (16 cups of chowder!) because of the glass that almost certainly got in it. We tried to justify eating it. "Maybe if we chew very carefully? No, no."<br />
To make a long story short, after 45 minutes of cleaning, when it was past 8:00, weary from cleaning and more than a little shell shocked, we decided that instead of trying to thaw something out and start dinner all over again we'd just go out to eat. So much for our streak of frugal meals. And now we're down a baking dish on top of it all.<br />
At least no one was hurt. Shane called his brother later on and started the conversation with, "So, I tried to blow up my pregnant wife tonight...."SisterX_83http://www.blogger.com/profile/03159006386821530156noreply@blogger.com0