Monday, November 19, 2012

Making walking in the cold fun

We've been eating soup for days. Seriously, days. Shane made salmon chowder last Thursday night and we've been eating it ever since. There was still a decent amount yesterday and we knew that it would either need to be eaten, frozen, or dumped. Since I find it unconscionable to waste food, and we were all sick of eating it, freezing it and making something else was what we went with. But what did we all want to eat before we leave on Wednesday? If we made one meal there was a chance we wouldn't have enough to last, and if we made two meals we'd most likely be leaving leftovers to go bad while we're all gone for the holiday. (Shane and I are going to visit my in-laws, my brother is going to a friend's house for a few days.) So we decided that making sandwiches would be the best way to go. Which meant going to the store for sandwich makings. (And, as it turns out, eggnog.)
The problem was, our truck still isn't running. We've tried getting various friends to come look at it, but between the cold temps and the busy-ness surrounding the holiday it hasn't happened. We tried calling our friend (and next-door neighbor) to see if we could borrow her car but no such luck. So, walking it was.
Shane hates walking places. We would have biked, but his tire died over the summer and while I bought a new tire for him, I forgot to get a new tube for it. So we only had one bike and neither of us was going to volunteer to be the solo adventurer. With the temp at 0F (with a windchill making it "feel like" -20F) it was safest to go in a pair anyway. So we walked.
It could have been so miserable. However, Shane managed to make the trip fun for both of us by acting as if we were arctic explorers. In between talking about other things, he'd randomly intersperse comments as if he was doing the voiceover for someone's journal entries. I caught on and we made ourselves giggle almost the whole way. Considering that it was a 2 hour trip, that's not bad. Here are a few of the funniest "journal entries".

Shane: "Journal Entry #1. Status report, morale is low. I hate walking."

Shane: "Journal Entry #2. My partner won't stop cackling and laughing at me. Insensitive bastard."

After a few minutes of silence...
Shane (in an NPR-announcer voice): "And now, the tasteful sideboob hour."
Me: "WTF? Journal entry #5. My partner seems to have gone insane. I fear for our expedition. It seems less and less likely that we will both make it safely to the end of our journey."

On the walk home....
Shane: "Status report, morale is even lower. I still fucking hate walking."
Me: "Waaaah! I'm Shane and I can't handle a little bit of hard work! Waaah!"
Shane: "Journal entry #8. My partner went missing in the night. An expedition was sent out but were forced to turn back. The outlook is grim."
Then he pushed me into a snowbank.

Just before I fell asleep last night I heard this...
Shane: "Journal entry #12. Readjusting to my normal life once again is proving difficult. Perhaps the expedition was unwise, as I now seem unfit for the real world...."

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