This was pretty much a great weekend. Yesterday morning I went to a friend's cabin for a lady's tea and jewelry swap. Despite only knowing two of the girls beforehand, I had a blast. We were all amazed at how much jewelry we had that we wanted to get rid of. It was only a small sampling of each of our collections, but put it all together and we could have done our own booth at a fair. (And since there were only seven of us, that was especially shocking.) I had even thought when I was first invited, "Oh, I don't really have anything to get rid of...." A quick peek through my jewelry revealed plenty of things I never wear. We went around the table picking one at a time (there were a few hotly contested items) and whatever wasn't chosen at the end was going to be donated or given to the hostess's Little Sister. (You know, from the Big Sister/Little Sister program.)
And yes, I did get a few "new" pieces of jewelry, but they're of a sort that I would want to get anyway sometime. Small-ish silver hoops, a beautiful necklace, some earrings that look like stained glass windows (and reminded me of my honeymoon)....
In the afternoon, I made a new catnip toy for my little guy. He was SO EXCITED. It provides endless entertainment to him and us, because we get to watch him throwing it around the house to chase after. And then he gets stoned, and starts staring at nothing, or chasing nothing (or chasing his tail), or just getting really mellow and letting us pet and hold him more than usual. Sometimes all of this happens within the span of about ten minutes. If you have cats, these toys are really easy to make and can be done with a scrap of yarn: crochet (or knit, I guess, but the small work would probably be difficult) a small tube, about the length of a finger. Grab a funnel and fill it with dried catnip pieces, then crochet the end together. I think I make them in about fifteen minutes, depending on how difficult it is to get the catnip down the tube. Yes it has holes, but this allows the nip to get out. Eventually all the nip is gotten out of them and it's time for a new one. Don't throw away the old one, though! When your cat is good and thoroughly stoned, it'll blow their mind to have a second toy thrown into the mix. :) If you use natural fiber yarn, they can get composted when you're done with them.
We went to J&L's last night to watch movies, but ended up leaving rather quickly. Apparently about two minutes before we got there, L was trying to fix some food for them but had an accident. They have (had) a cutting board that was essentially a leftover piece of the same material that makes up their counters. They also have a completely flat electric stove top. Can you see where I'm going? L placed the cutting board on the stove and turned on the wrong burner. Then she left the kitchen for a moment to take care of something and when she came back it was not burning, but smoking horribly. I'm not sure what the material was (some kind of laminate?) but the stench was beyond belief. And that was after a few minutes of having the windows open and the board itself on the porch. Amazingly, the part that was burned didn't actually burn and melt but turned into powder. So at least they won't have to replace the stove since it was easy enough to clean off. But we needed to evacuate, especially Baby, and give the house a chance to air out. Of course, "airing out" in the winter also has its difficulties because you don't want things to freeze. So we couldn't leave the windows open. We just had to let time do its thing. Even the few minutes we spent in there trying to get ready to leave again gave us all headaches. Shane, who was there longer than I was (he and J stayed behind a few minutes to close up the house while L and I raced Baby out of there) said that his vision was starting to blur before they left. Fantastic.
So it was back to my house. The dog, I'm pleased to report, is freaking out less and less at Baby. I even held Baby on my lap on the floor and let the dog come over and lick her face a little bit. (Mostly, she licked the pacifier.) And actually, Baby seemed to like it. The dog didn't even panic when Baby started to fuss a bit. I'm so proud of my dog. (She's been an angel lately!) Way later than usual, Baby finally fell asleep and we put her on our bed surrounded by blankets and pillows so she wouldn't fall off. (And since we don't have a frame for our bed, it's quite low and she probably wouldn't be hurt even if she had fallen off.) They left around midnight, with me and Shane both reminding them that we have a guest bedroom so if the chemicals were still too much for them, they could come stay at our house for the night. They didn't come back, so I assume all was well. (Although, I'm going to call L in a few minutes to confirm.) Poor lady, she beat herself up all evening about her "attempt to poison us". Shane and I both reminded her that we've done equally stupid things. I had to mark the knobs on our stove to show which ones were front or back (color-coded and written) because I would accidentally turn on the wrong burner and either leave an empty pot on it or something worse. Back when we were still buying industrial meats, I left a styrofoam package of chicken on a hot burner twice. Our kitchen towels have burn marks and holes in them because our old roommate several times left them on a hot burner. I think she was glad to know she wasn't alone in this.
So, our weekly total was: $0. After the glut of spending last weekend we really don't need groceries. The only caveat to that is that it's Valentine's Day this week so we wanted to make an extra special meal for each other. (Valentine's Day is our unofficial marker of how long we've been together, since our second date was on V-Day. Five years this year, and six months married!) I have no idea what Shane's planning to make for dinner, but dessert is mine. I'm making some apricot cookies from a book that L gave me. They're buttery and apricot-y and lemon-y and rich but not too sweet. Shane loves them, but since the ingredients are sort of expensive (here, at least--even bulk apricots are not cheap!) I don't make them that often. And since Tuesday I'm busy (Symphony rehearsal) we're celebrating tomorrow. I want to know what we'll have for dinner....
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Reusing plastic milk jugs
I've been wondering for a while what to do with our plastic milk jugs. It's not economical to buy milk in half-gallon containers (which, by the way, instead of being coated with wax the way they used to be, are now coated in plastic or a petroleum wax-like substance) and there's nowhere around here which does reusable containers. I think that they can go into the recycling on campus, but I'm not sure and in any case I was hoping to find inspiration about what to do with them instead, before they get trashed. I know they can be used as mini-greenhouses for plants, so I saved a few for that purpose. But, to be honest, summer is just so far away still. It seems like a lackluster and unnecessary project right now. Even today, when it's sunny and above zero and spring seems to be calling, I know that summer is still so far away. (We'll probably dip down into the -30s or -40s again at least once between now and the end of March.) I wanted to do something with them now. Have I mentioned before that I'm impatient?
I got inspiration from my one hanging plant. I've had this poor vine for three years now, and not only have I never transplanted it, I've let the soil in the pot slowly leak out the bottom when I water it. It was root-bound, and fading fast. It was the perfect project. Last Friday when I came home, I grabbed two of the milk jugs and cut the tops off at two different points. One was cut open near the top (leaving some of the plastic handle on) and the other one near the bottom. The top of that one will be saved for use as a greenhouse this summer.
For the bigger section, I poked several large holes in the bottom using a screwdriver. Then I poked two holes (up and down) with a large nail, and one in each of the corresponding sides of the smaller portion of milk jug. I used zip ties to attach the two pieces together and voila! One planter and an attached water container, making it suitable for hanging indoors.
The bottoms of the local milk jugs have a bump in the middle of them. To ensure enough room for water to gather, I made sure that the bump was going opposite ways on the two sections. It leaves a little less than an inch of space under the planter for excess water. I still need to be careful not to over-water, but that's always true.
That's all I really needed to do to get it ready to plant in. I put a layer of soil in it, then gently put my vine in and filled in around it with more soil. For the first watering I poured some over the top like usual, but for future waterings the opened portion of the handle on the side will make a wonderful spout so that the water goes directly to the roots.
To hang it up, I found a...well, a cord thing which I bought a while ago intending to use for hanging plants but could never find the proper pot to put in it. Nothing worked with it and it's just been sitting there for over a year. But the hooks on it made it perfect for hanging this container. I poked a few more holes in the top of the container for the hooks to go through (not too high, so the weight of it all pulls the hooks through the plastic, but not so low that I'd have a hard time actually getting the hooks through it) and that was really it. Very simple, and now I can train the vines to go up the cord rather than just hanging down in front of my other plants. If I hadn't already had the cord on hand, I would probably have used an old wire hanger. The other thing I've thought of doing (and will probably try next) is to crochet a little basket-type thing out of old plastic bags to hang the planter in. I'm a little worried about how sturdy that would be, though. When I try it, I'll let you know.
I must say, even Shane was impressed with me. I think he thought that me saving the milk jugs was another silly project that I'd never get around to actually using. Ha! I showed him.
I also want to get more hooks. There are some holes in the ceiling where it's obvious that a previous tenant used to have hooks for hanging plants so I don't need to worry about damaging the apartment. This will seriously help me fit more plants into our tiny space and I'm wondering what to plant next in our little indoor garden. I'm thinking two planters of assorted herbs, and maybe one of lettuce. Two of lettuce? It would be so nice to have fresh, homegrown lettuce before midsummer.
I asked my boss about the potential of hanging some at work (we have so much space which would be perfect for them!--lots of light, no other uses for that space, etc.) but because of the liability issues (what if they fell on someone?) I can't do it. I might try to sneak one or two in at the windows, though.
For summer, I'm going to substantially increase the amount of gardening space I have by making more of these planters and hanging them up under the eaves around the garage. I'm thinking strawberries would be wonderful and easy. :)
Now I'm itching to get my hands on more milk jugs! We go through about a gallon of milk per week, a little bit less if I don't need to make yogurt. So it's not like I have a bunch waiting to be "butchered" into planters. I've asked a friend who works at a local coffee shop to save a few milk jugs for me, since they go through about 30 per day. If I get too many for using as hanging baskets, I can always save some to start plants in, or just to use as regular pots around the house.
*It's actually been over a week since I did this project, but I wanted to add the pictures and because of our technical difficulties I had to wait. This plant already looks super healthy and happy with its new home.
I got inspiration from my one hanging plant. I've had this poor vine for three years now, and not only have I never transplanted it, I've let the soil in the pot slowly leak out the bottom when I water it. It was root-bound, and fading fast. It was the perfect project. Last Friday when I came home, I grabbed two of the milk jugs and cut the tops off at two different points. One was cut open near the top (leaving some of the plastic handle on) and the other one near the bottom. The top of that one will be saved for use as a greenhouse this summer.
For the bigger section, I poked several large holes in the bottom using a screwdriver. Then I poked two holes (up and down) with a large nail, and one in each of the corresponding sides of the smaller portion of milk jug. I used zip ties to attach the two pieces together and voila! One planter and an attached water container, making it suitable for hanging indoors.
That's all I really needed to do to get it ready to plant in. I put a layer of soil in it, then gently put my vine in and filled in around it with more soil. For the first watering I poured some over the top like usual, but for future waterings the opened portion of the handle on the side will make a wonderful spout so that the water goes directly to the roots.
I must say, even Shane was impressed with me. I think he thought that me saving the milk jugs was another silly project that I'd never get around to actually using. Ha! I showed him.
I also want to get more hooks. There are some holes in the ceiling where it's obvious that a previous tenant used to have hooks for hanging plants so I don't need to worry about damaging the apartment. This will seriously help me fit more plants into our tiny space and I'm wondering what to plant next in our little indoor garden. I'm thinking two planters of assorted herbs, and maybe one of lettuce. Two of lettuce? It would be so nice to have fresh, homegrown lettuce before midsummer.
I asked my boss about the potential of hanging some at work (we have so much space which would be perfect for them!--lots of light, no other uses for that space, etc.) but because of the liability issues (what if they fell on someone?) I can't do it. I might try to sneak one or two in at the windows, though.
For summer, I'm going to substantially increase the amount of gardening space I have by making more of these planters and hanging them up under the eaves around the garage. I'm thinking strawberries would be wonderful and easy. :)
Now I'm itching to get my hands on more milk jugs! We go through about a gallon of milk per week, a little bit less if I don't need to make yogurt. So it's not like I have a bunch waiting to be "butchered" into planters. I've asked a friend who works at a local coffee shop to save a few milk jugs for me, since they go through about 30 per day. If I get too many for using as hanging baskets, I can always save some to start plants in, or just to use as regular pots around the house.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Independence Days
So, what did I do this week to make my life a little more independent and sustainable? Not too much, but enough.
I ordered my seeds last weekend, and they should be here soon. Rather than the $100 I thought it would cost, it was only $55 (with shipping). Since there are way more seeds than I could ever plant here, I might have a few friends buy some from me. (For about $5.) My friend Hannah reminded me that it's not too early to start seeds for indoor growing, so I got some of my pots ready to plant and am on the lookout for more. The only planting I did this week was just replanting a vine I have (more about that tomorrow.) Since I used only things we already had in the house (and re-purposed a couple of things) I'm feeling pretty good about that one and I'm excited to share.
Of course, I didn't preserve anything, but we did make decent headway into the "eat the food" category. The dog spent a lot of time the other night showing me her big sad eyes until I fed her, because she knew we'd had halibut that night and she wanted some. I gave in. I made zucchini pancakes to use up some more of our saved squash, and we're almost out of our frozen blueberries. (No!!!!) Most of our upcoming meals (except maybe Valentine's Day--because I still don't know what Shane wants to make) are planned around things that we've already got, so we don't waste any of it.
I'm adding my own category here: health. Because any life in which you don't take care of yourself is not sustainable. Further, the medicines that we use are both incredibly resource intensive and involve a lot of transportation and waste. So what have I done to keep myself healthy? I walked for at least an hour and fifteen minutes every weekday. I exercised (not counting my walking) for forty minutes on four out of the last seven days. I started each day with a healthy breakfast (either a smoothie or a whole wheat scone) and I made sure to eat plenty of vegetables, fish, and nuts/seeds. I know I did all of this because I'm involved in a work health program that forces me to track my exercise and eating. :)
What have you done this week to make your life better?
I ordered my seeds last weekend, and they should be here soon. Rather than the $100 I thought it would cost, it was only $55 (with shipping). Since there are way more seeds than I could ever plant here, I might have a few friends buy some from me. (For about $5.) My friend Hannah reminded me that it's not too early to start seeds for indoor growing, so I got some of my pots ready to plant and am on the lookout for more. The only planting I did this week was just replanting a vine I have (more about that tomorrow.) Since I used only things we already had in the house (and re-purposed a couple of things) I'm feeling pretty good about that one and I'm excited to share.
Of course, I didn't preserve anything, but we did make decent headway into the "eat the food" category. The dog spent a lot of time the other night showing me her big sad eyes until I fed her, because she knew we'd had halibut that night and she wanted some. I gave in. I made zucchini pancakes to use up some more of our saved squash, and we're almost out of our frozen blueberries. (No!!!!) Most of our upcoming meals (except maybe Valentine's Day--because I still don't know what Shane wants to make) are planned around things that we've already got, so we don't waste any of it.
I'm adding my own category here: health. Because any life in which you don't take care of yourself is not sustainable. Further, the medicines that we use are both incredibly resource intensive and involve a lot of transportation and waste. So what have I done to keep myself healthy? I walked for at least an hour and fifteen minutes every weekday. I exercised (not counting my walking) for forty minutes on four out of the last seven days. I started each day with a healthy breakfast (either a smoothie or a whole wheat scone) and I made sure to eat plenty of vegetables, fish, and nuts/seeds. I know I did all of this because I'm involved in a work health program that forces me to track my exercise and eating. :)
What have you done this week to make your life better?
Technical difficulties
Oh boy. When it rains, it pours. Am I right? Quite a while ago (like, before Christmas) the power supply in Shane's computer exploded. (And I mean that in the literal sense. Thankfully, it was small. I slept right through it.) Then, when he was cleaning out my computer, he broke my processor by accident. Not a big deal, in the grand scheme of things. Since his computer was already broken he merely traded out his working part for my non-working part. He has a laptop, which was his graduation gift from his parents. I know, I know, three computers for our household of two! But it has been nice to have the laptop around for things like going on our honeymoon and now, for use when the other computer is dead.
Well, last week the power supply for the laptop died. Since it's sort of a specialty laptop (marketed to gamers, like Shane) it's not like he could just go to the store and get a new power supply. It's thankfully still under warranty, so he sent it back to be refurbished. And our house was down to only one working computer.
On Wednesday, I got a call from Shane in the afternoon. "Your computer isn't starting up. I think something is wrong with your operating system and I'm going to have to do a complete re-install. You don't have anything important on that drive, do you?" Naturally I didn't think, "Yes! All of my photos, all of my important documents..." I said, "No, I don't think so." *Facepalm*
What Shane thinks happened is that the night before, when he was going to bed, it was taking forever to shut itself off and in a fit of impatience he did a hard shutdown via the power strip. What he failed to realize at the time was that it was taking so long to shut down because it was installing updates. He killed it.
So for a while, we went from three working computers to none. Thankfully, Shane was able to get mine up and running again. And our most important photos (like the ones from our honeymoon) were still on the camera. Others I can get from family and friends, or even from Facebook. Most of my important documents have backups (thanks, Dad!) so it's not a complete loss. Just a lot of time that I'm going to need to spend, putting things back in order.
Both of our birthdays are coming up, and we've agreed that it's sort of silly to get presents for each other. "Here, look what our money got you!" or Shane's comment, "You worked really hard, dear, so I spent some of that money you earned." I think our gifts to each other will be more like "You have my permission to go buy a couple of books" or "You have my permission to go ahead and buy new parts for your computer". It's the stuff of jewelry commercials and romance novels, right?
It has been interesting, though, to see how much we rely on our computers. I like to think that I spend less than the average amount of screen time (Shane makes up for it with his massive amounts of screen time, thanks to playing video games) but I felt rather bereft when we didn't have any computers to entertain us. Normally if Shane was doing something like installing an operating system (a long and boring process) we would have turned on a movie on someone else's computer. But of course, we couldn't do that. I couldn't do my normal workout because the video is played on my computer. So we read our books and it was very quiet in the house. I took the dog for a walk to get some exercise, but it's warm enough that I've been doing that in addition to my workout lately and it wasn't a replacement. (Little girl got two walks yesterday because I took her to meet Shane when he was walking home from work, then I took her out again after my workout. She even found some bread in the road that someone had spilled and ate it before I could stop her. It was a good evening to be a dog.)
Whatever computer parts we have to get rid of will be sent to an e-waste recycler. I know that most of the time they just ship the stuff to places like China, because they have lax environmental laws. So I will do my best to find a responsible recycling route. It's not the best option, or even really a good option. I'll need to figure out more what the best and most responsible, sustainable, option is.
Well, last week the power supply for the laptop died. Since it's sort of a specialty laptop (marketed to gamers, like Shane) it's not like he could just go to the store and get a new power supply. It's thankfully still under warranty, so he sent it back to be refurbished. And our house was down to only one working computer.
On Wednesday, I got a call from Shane in the afternoon. "Your computer isn't starting up. I think something is wrong with your operating system and I'm going to have to do a complete re-install. You don't have anything important on that drive, do you?" Naturally I didn't think, "Yes! All of my photos, all of my important documents..." I said, "No, I don't think so." *Facepalm*
What Shane thinks happened is that the night before, when he was going to bed, it was taking forever to shut itself off and in a fit of impatience he did a hard shutdown via the power strip. What he failed to realize at the time was that it was taking so long to shut down because it was installing updates. He killed it.
So for a while, we went from three working computers to none. Thankfully, Shane was able to get mine up and running again. And our most important photos (like the ones from our honeymoon) were still on the camera. Others I can get from family and friends, or even from Facebook. Most of my important documents have backups (thanks, Dad!) so it's not a complete loss. Just a lot of time that I'm going to need to spend, putting things back in order.
Both of our birthdays are coming up, and we've agreed that it's sort of silly to get presents for each other. "Here, look what our money got you!" or Shane's comment, "You worked really hard, dear, so I spent some of that money you earned." I think our gifts to each other will be more like "You have my permission to go buy a couple of books" or "You have my permission to go ahead and buy new parts for your computer". It's the stuff of jewelry commercials and romance novels, right?
It has been interesting, though, to see how much we rely on our computers. I like to think that I spend less than the average amount of screen time (Shane makes up for it with his massive amounts of screen time, thanks to playing video games) but I felt rather bereft when we didn't have any computers to entertain us. Normally if Shane was doing something like installing an operating system (a long and boring process) we would have turned on a movie on someone else's computer. But of course, we couldn't do that. I couldn't do my normal workout because the video is played on my computer. So we read our books and it was very quiet in the house. I took the dog for a walk to get some exercise, but it's warm enough that I've been doing that in addition to my workout lately and it wasn't a replacement. (Little girl got two walks yesterday because I took her to meet Shane when he was walking home from work, then I took her out again after my workout. She even found some bread in the road that someone had spilled and ate it before I could stop her. It was a good evening to be a dog.)
Whatever computer parts we have to get rid of will be sent to an e-waste recycler. I know that most of the time they just ship the stuff to places like China, because they have lax environmental laws. So I will do my best to find a responsible recycling route. It's not the best option, or even really a good option. I'll need to figure out more what the best and most responsible, sustainable, option is.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
What you're not supposed to say...or think
I'm a feminist, and proud to claim that title. In fact most of us are feminists, even men. The word has been co-opted by people who want to give it a bad reputation for their own (usually economic) gain. Those are the people who make you visualize some woman claiming that women are superior to men in every way. This is not feminism. Feminism is merely the belief (I would say rather, knowledge) that men and women are equal. Oh, I concede that we have differences. Unless I try really hard to bulk up, I will probably never be as strong as most men. On the flip side, they will never get to feel a child growing inside of them, kicking and squirming and squishing their bladder. We're not equal in the sense that "I must be the same as you to be equal". But men are no smarter than me (except on an individual basis), and no morally better or worse than me. They don't deserve more freedoms and rights than me simply because they have a penis and I have, instead, a vagina.
The dirty little secret that I hold, which I'm not supposed to think or feel or want...is that my greatest dream is actually to be a homemaker. A housewife. A stay-at-home mom. Except that I hate these titles. They imply that a woman who doesn't work outside the home doesn't really work. I think that the work a woman (or a man) who is a homemaker does is some of the hardest and most valuable work that there is. Raising a family, feeding them well, keeping accounts and family budgets, doing all of the shopping, and often mending clothes, gardening, and even keeping livestock...how is this not valuable to a family? Though I would never want to go back to the days when, in school, girls learned about homemaking and boys took shop, there is a reason the class was called "home economics". The work done at home is severely undervalued in our society. By some estimates, the informal economy makes up 75% of the world economy. It's hidden, though, because it's hard to measure and include it in the GDP.
Sharon Astyk (yes, her again) has a wonderful article in which she argues that the version of feminism that came to dominate our thoughts is the one which was framed to be the most profitable for corporations. Instead of spending time and energy on the home economy, women were now told that to be productive, to be good little feminists, means to Produce and be Productive in Society. Which means getting out of the home, getting a job for a corporation. (As Astyk put it, trading the "slavery and drudgery" of the home for the slavery and drudgery of someone else, who will now be timing your bathroom breaks.) I think that this is an excellent point. Feminism wasn't an idea spurred, necessarily, by the desire to get jobs outside of the home. What was it then? It was the desire to not be looked down upon as the "weaker sex", to want the acknowledgement that we are people too, with valuable thoughts, ideas, and experiences. It was born out of the desire for basic protections for women: protection against predators (rapists and sexual harassers), protection from abusive husbands, protection over our own bodies (the right to say "no", the right to birth control and abortion), the right to equal work from our spouses and partners. More economic opportunity. Not just "money", but the right to own property and to not be dependent on male family members to make decisions for us. That is what feminism is about, not whether we work outside the home or not. Freedom is the underlying principle, and by claiming that the only way we can be "free" is to work outside the home, we're undermining our own cause.
Yes, I think it's a tragedy how few women are CEOs of major corporations, or how few progress from middle management at all. I think it's reprehensible that no matter what job I hold, I will only earn approximately 75% of what a similarly qualified man would make for the same work. I think it's utterly stupid that we even have to have the term "mommy track", and that women are the ones forced to choose between advancing their careers and their families, and that most women don't have paid maternity leave (if they do have it at all). (On the flip side, I also think it's horrible that men don't get paternity leave. They might not be the ones actually carrying the children, but having kids is still a big deal for men and I think that in this regard our society is stuck in the old model of the man as provider. Why would the big strong man need to take any time off just for a kid? That's women's work.)
If we have daughters, I would like to see them one day have even more opportunity in terms of work than I do. I hope that they will grow up in a world where it's actually written into the U.S. Constitution that women have as many rights as men and minorities. (It's not currently in there. Write your legislators and support the Equal Rights Amendment!) But I think that freedom of choice is the most important thing they can have. The freedom to not be looked down upon if they choose to stay at home "rather than work" and the freedom to make the best decision for them and their families. I just don't see that for women right now, and sadly a lot of the judgment comes from other women. Instead of being the strongest force mankind (yep, I meant that word in the patriarchal sense) has ever seen, we've allowed ourselves to be divided into camps. "I'm a good mom because I stay at home/earn money for my family. I'm a better woman because I work. I'm better because I cloth diaper/never spank my kids/discipline them strictly/take them to Disneyland every year." We measure ourselves against each other and rather than supporting each other, or making allowances for differences of beliefs, morals, situation, and temperament, we insist on judging each other harshly. That needs to stop.
So why do I want to be a homemaker? Well, lots of reasons. For one thing, I love babies and children and when we have them, I'd want to be home with them. (This is absolutely not a judgment on working mothers. My own worked almost my entire childhood--and if you count getting a master's degree as work, the whole time I was growing up--and some mothers prefer to work, enjoying the escape from Babyland every day.) The most fun job I've ever had was when I was sort of nannying for four different families. (The moms were all stay-at-home, so they just needed a few hours of help for different reasons. One mom runs marathons and wanted time to exercise. One mom had a five year old and infant twins, and lots of chaos. Stuff like that.) Until that point, I'd always thought that my goal for being a Grownup was getting a job and making money. I realized that the "making money" part wasn't so important to me, and now that I'm at a Real Job I realize how depressing it is when you have memories of playing the days away instead. And no, that job wasn't easy. I was a supplement to those parents so I disciplined and ran them to activities and went grocery shopping and cleaned. But my biggest memories are of playing with and reading to the kids. I want to have those same kinds of memories about my own kids.
The other main reason is because I think that in the future, I can have as big an economic impact on our little family at home as I currently have at work. I have dreams of gardens that produce almost all of our vegetables. Of keeping bees, raising chickens and goats. These are time-consuming things that are not easy to do when both partners work full time. There are already plenty of things that I want to do, but which I find I don't have the time for or the energy for. ("I could go pull those weeds...but it's a weeknight and I don't want to do anything more taxing than read a book and snuggle my pets.") I want to knit socks (I started some, but only one is half-finished) and sweaters and learn to quilt and sew. I really, truly enjoy all of the home economics stuff. I love cooking elaborate meals, baking, and figuring out ways to reduce our grocery bills or to make something stretch just a little bit farther.
Shane is not like me. He sits home all day playing video games, bored to tears by unemployment. Where I see opportunity, he just sees that he's not contributing economically. Yes, he's taken on extra chores to compensate. But where I would throw myself into all sorts of home projects, he withers and is less and less inclined to make work for himself. (This is, apparently, quite common when comparing women's unemployment to men's. Also, it worries me because of impacts to his long-term health and life expectancy.) This role reversal in what we'd like to do is difficult. The one who's more suited to staying home has to work, and the one anxious to work has to stay home. It's hard at times to bite my tongue, to not criticize or suggest new projects for him. (He complimented me the other day--undeservedly, I feel--for not criticizing him while he's unemployed. If he only knew how many times I wanted to bash him over the head and yell, "Do something besides playing your f-ing video games all day!!!") It's also hard not to try to take over all of the home stuff, too, and completely wear myself out. Shane doesn't shop at all the way I do. If he goes when he's hungry, he buys things like Pizza Rolls. He has never yet remembered the reusable bags, even when I've sent him a reminder text. (Is he really that oblivious, or is it just because he doesn't care?) He will occasionally get the organic option, but usually he doesn't bother. And I bite my tongue again. I remind myself that staying home is not something he wants to do so it's hard enough. I remind myself that just because I feel that I've figured out the perfect way to do things doesn't mean that he thinks they're perfect. Nor does it mean that he's any more inclined to take on my projects.
It's very hard to see the other person in the role that we want to take on. But for now, we don't really have a choice in the matter. This is one case where hard work and persistence really haven't paid off, and might not for a long time. We'll just have to keep on keeping on, and look forward to a day when things will be different.
The dirty little secret that I hold, which I'm not supposed to think or feel or want...is that my greatest dream is actually to be a homemaker. A housewife. A stay-at-home mom. Except that I hate these titles. They imply that a woman who doesn't work outside the home doesn't really work. I think that the work a woman (or a man) who is a homemaker does is some of the hardest and most valuable work that there is. Raising a family, feeding them well, keeping accounts and family budgets, doing all of the shopping, and often mending clothes, gardening, and even keeping livestock...how is this not valuable to a family? Though I would never want to go back to the days when, in school, girls learned about homemaking and boys took shop, there is a reason the class was called "home economics". The work done at home is severely undervalued in our society. By some estimates, the informal economy makes up 75% of the world economy. It's hidden, though, because it's hard to measure and include it in the GDP.
Sharon Astyk (yes, her again) has a wonderful article in which she argues that the version of feminism that came to dominate our thoughts is the one which was framed to be the most profitable for corporations. Instead of spending time and energy on the home economy, women were now told that to be productive, to be good little feminists, means to Produce and be Productive in Society. Which means getting out of the home, getting a job for a corporation. (As Astyk put it, trading the "slavery and drudgery" of the home for the slavery and drudgery of someone else, who will now be timing your bathroom breaks.) I think that this is an excellent point. Feminism wasn't an idea spurred, necessarily, by the desire to get jobs outside of the home. What was it then? It was the desire to not be looked down upon as the "weaker sex", to want the acknowledgement that we are people too, with valuable thoughts, ideas, and experiences. It was born out of the desire for basic protections for women: protection against predators (rapists and sexual harassers), protection from abusive husbands, protection over our own bodies (the right to say "no", the right to birth control and abortion), the right to equal work from our spouses and partners. More economic opportunity. Not just "money", but the right to own property and to not be dependent on male family members to make decisions for us. That is what feminism is about, not whether we work outside the home or not. Freedom is the underlying principle, and by claiming that the only way we can be "free" is to work outside the home, we're undermining our own cause.
Yes, I think it's a tragedy how few women are CEOs of major corporations, or how few progress from middle management at all. I think it's reprehensible that no matter what job I hold, I will only earn approximately 75% of what a similarly qualified man would make for the same work. I think it's utterly stupid that we even have to have the term "mommy track", and that women are the ones forced to choose between advancing their careers and their families, and that most women don't have paid maternity leave (if they do have it at all). (On the flip side, I also think it's horrible that men don't get paternity leave. They might not be the ones actually carrying the children, but having kids is still a big deal for men and I think that in this regard our society is stuck in the old model of the man as provider. Why would the big strong man need to take any time off just for a kid? That's women's work.)
If we have daughters, I would like to see them one day have even more opportunity in terms of work than I do. I hope that they will grow up in a world where it's actually written into the U.S. Constitution that women have as many rights as men and minorities. (It's not currently in there. Write your legislators and support the Equal Rights Amendment!) But I think that freedom of choice is the most important thing they can have. The freedom to not be looked down upon if they choose to stay at home "rather than work" and the freedom to make the best decision for them and their families. I just don't see that for women right now, and sadly a lot of the judgment comes from other women. Instead of being the strongest force mankind (yep, I meant that word in the patriarchal sense) has ever seen, we've allowed ourselves to be divided into camps. "I'm a good mom because I stay at home/earn money for my family. I'm a better woman because I work. I'm better because I cloth diaper/never spank my kids/discipline them strictly/take them to Disneyland every year." We measure ourselves against each other and rather than supporting each other, or making allowances for differences of beliefs, morals, situation, and temperament, we insist on judging each other harshly. That needs to stop.
So why do I want to be a homemaker? Well, lots of reasons. For one thing, I love babies and children and when we have them, I'd want to be home with them. (This is absolutely not a judgment on working mothers. My own worked almost my entire childhood--and if you count getting a master's degree as work, the whole time I was growing up--and some mothers prefer to work, enjoying the escape from Babyland every day.) The most fun job I've ever had was when I was sort of nannying for four different families. (The moms were all stay-at-home, so they just needed a few hours of help for different reasons. One mom runs marathons and wanted time to exercise. One mom had a five year old and infant twins, and lots of chaos. Stuff like that.) Until that point, I'd always thought that my goal for being a Grownup was getting a job and making money. I realized that the "making money" part wasn't so important to me, and now that I'm at a Real Job I realize how depressing it is when you have memories of playing the days away instead. And no, that job wasn't easy. I was a supplement to those parents so I disciplined and ran them to activities and went grocery shopping and cleaned. But my biggest memories are of playing with and reading to the kids. I want to have those same kinds of memories about my own kids.
The other main reason is because I think that in the future, I can have as big an economic impact on our little family at home as I currently have at work. I have dreams of gardens that produce almost all of our vegetables. Of keeping bees, raising chickens and goats. These are time-consuming things that are not easy to do when both partners work full time. There are already plenty of things that I want to do, but which I find I don't have the time for or the energy for. ("I could go pull those weeds...but it's a weeknight and I don't want to do anything more taxing than read a book and snuggle my pets.") I want to knit socks (I started some, but only one is half-finished) and sweaters and learn to quilt and sew. I really, truly enjoy all of the home economics stuff. I love cooking elaborate meals, baking, and figuring out ways to reduce our grocery bills or to make something stretch just a little bit farther.
Shane is not like me. He sits home all day playing video games, bored to tears by unemployment. Where I see opportunity, he just sees that he's not contributing economically. Yes, he's taken on extra chores to compensate. But where I would throw myself into all sorts of home projects, he withers and is less and less inclined to make work for himself. (This is, apparently, quite common when comparing women's unemployment to men's. Also, it worries me because of impacts to his long-term health and life expectancy.) This role reversal in what we'd like to do is difficult. The one who's more suited to staying home has to work, and the one anxious to work has to stay home. It's hard at times to bite my tongue, to not criticize or suggest new projects for him. (He complimented me the other day--undeservedly, I feel--for not criticizing him while he's unemployed. If he only knew how many times I wanted to bash him over the head and yell, "Do something besides playing your f-ing video games all day!!!") It's also hard not to try to take over all of the home stuff, too, and completely wear myself out. Shane doesn't shop at all the way I do. If he goes when he's hungry, he buys things like Pizza Rolls. He has never yet remembered the reusable bags, even when I've sent him a reminder text. (Is he really that oblivious, or is it just because he doesn't care?) He will occasionally get the organic option, but usually he doesn't bother. And I bite my tongue again. I remind myself that staying home is not something he wants to do so it's hard enough. I remind myself that just because I feel that I've figured out the perfect way to do things doesn't mean that he thinks they're perfect. Nor does it mean that he's any more inclined to take on my projects.
It's very hard to see the other person in the role that we want to take on. But for now, we don't really have a choice in the matter. This is one case where hard work and persistence really haven't paid off, and might not for a long time. We'll just have to keep on keeping on, and look forward to a day when things will be different.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Red beans and rice
Three winters of walking through the woods to work and this one is the only one in which I've seen moose. I saw number four today. As I was rounding a corner I hummed a little but it wasn't truly necessary because I could already see the moose, about 30 feet off the path. It looked at me, I looked at it, and we stared at each other for a long time. Finally, it went back to eating trees and I walked up the path, looking over my shoulder to be sure it wouldn't suddenly start chasing me.
But moose aren't really what I wanted to write about today. I want to talk about something so simple, and yet so wonderful and filling. Red beans and rice. It's the quintessential poor person's meal. I'm sad to say, though, that I never really thought about making it. For one thing, I'm not actually a huge fan of beans. They're fine, sometimes, but I guess I've never really known what to do with them. How to make them good. I love lentil soup, but Shane does not. So we haven't really made beans that much, even though they're both super nutritious and cheap.
The other reason is: rice. For all of my mad baking skillz, I never actually learned how to cook rice. Every time I had rice, someone else ended up making it for me. When we've made fried rice, it's most definitely Shane's dish to prepare. (And he's excellent at it.)
All that is now changed. Over a month ago, a friend sent me a recipe for slow cooker red beans and rice, and I finally got around to making it this week. I was a little wary...would I actually like it? Would I undercook the beans?
But it was so easy, how could I not at least try it? Even making my own spice mix, it was a simple recipe that was plenty easy to set up the night before in about ten minutes. (To give it all a slightly different aspect, I suspect you could mix in ginger instead of cayenne pepper and also come up with something tasty. Play with the amounts, though, since you wouldn't want it to be overwhelmingly ginger-y.)
I won't give you the whole recipe here, since you can just go to the website and read it. I was using dried beans, so I put everything (onion, red pepper, celery, beans, spices, and water) into the pot the night before to let the beans soak and to give the flavors some more time to mix together. (I forgot the sausage, so that went in in the morning.) Then I cooked it on "low" during the day, rather than "high" as was recommended. I was worried that the beans would end up too hard, but doing it my way they ended up perfectly textured. The other worry was that the celery would break down too much, but it had just enough crunch left to let me know it's there and to not have the whole meal be mushy.
As for the sausage, I used summer sausage because we happened to have some on hand (courtesy of Shane's grandfather). I didn't use much, either, just half the sausage. Enough to let you know that it's there but not enough to take over the whole dish. This sausage hasn't been our favorite, but it did well in this dish. If you're trying to go meatless or just eat less meat, it would be simple enough to leave out the meat and it would still be delicious.
Shane had to direct me in making the rice, but now I know how. For this meal, I made three cups of dried rice (it cooked up to about 9 cups) and that seems to be about the perfect amount. Make a little more if you want the meal to be less soup-like. We'll get at least four meals out of this, though, even though we fed my little brother last night and I had seconds the first night. It's that good.
I suspect that another good, nutritious addition would be some cabbage. Shane hates cooked cabbage, so I need to keep him in mind. If I add the cabbage at the end while I'm cooking the rice (essentially blanching it) it should remain nice and firm, but still be cooked through enough to not seem totally out of place. I might try that next time....
If anyone else has easy, yummy Crock Pot recipes, please share! I'd love to try them out.
But moose aren't really what I wanted to write about today. I want to talk about something so simple, and yet so wonderful and filling. Red beans and rice. It's the quintessential poor person's meal. I'm sad to say, though, that I never really thought about making it. For one thing, I'm not actually a huge fan of beans. They're fine, sometimes, but I guess I've never really known what to do with them. How to make them good. I love lentil soup, but Shane does not. So we haven't really made beans that much, even though they're both super nutritious and cheap.
The other reason is: rice. For all of my mad baking skillz, I never actually learned how to cook rice. Every time I had rice, someone else ended up making it for me. When we've made fried rice, it's most definitely Shane's dish to prepare. (And he's excellent at it.)
All that is now changed. Over a month ago, a friend sent me a recipe for slow cooker red beans and rice, and I finally got around to making it this week. I was a little wary...would I actually like it? Would I undercook the beans?
But it was so easy, how could I not at least try it? Even making my own spice mix, it was a simple recipe that was plenty easy to set up the night before in about ten minutes. (To give it all a slightly different aspect, I suspect you could mix in ginger instead of cayenne pepper and also come up with something tasty. Play with the amounts, though, since you wouldn't want it to be overwhelmingly ginger-y.)
I won't give you the whole recipe here, since you can just go to the website and read it. I was using dried beans, so I put everything (onion, red pepper, celery, beans, spices, and water) into the pot the night before to let the beans soak and to give the flavors some more time to mix together. (I forgot the sausage, so that went in in the morning.) Then I cooked it on "low" during the day, rather than "high" as was recommended. I was worried that the beans would end up too hard, but doing it my way they ended up perfectly textured. The other worry was that the celery would break down too much, but it had just enough crunch left to let me know it's there and to not have the whole meal be mushy.
As for the sausage, I used summer sausage because we happened to have some on hand (courtesy of Shane's grandfather). I didn't use much, either, just half the sausage. Enough to let you know that it's there but not enough to take over the whole dish. This sausage hasn't been our favorite, but it did well in this dish. If you're trying to go meatless or just eat less meat, it would be simple enough to leave out the meat and it would still be delicious.
Shane had to direct me in making the rice, but now I know how. For this meal, I made three cups of dried rice (it cooked up to about 9 cups) and that seems to be about the perfect amount. Make a little more if you want the meal to be less soup-like. We'll get at least four meals out of this, though, even though we fed my little brother last night and I had seconds the first night. It's that good.
I suspect that another good, nutritious addition would be some cabbage. Shane hates cooked cabbage, so I need to keep him in mind. If I add the cabbage at the end while I'm cooking the rice (essentially blanching it) it should remain nice and firm, but still be cooked through enough to not seem totally out of place. I might try that next time....
If anyone else has easy, yummy Crock Pot recipes, please share! I'd love to try them out.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Real quick....
I just wanted to highlight this article from Greenpeace. It ties together a number of issues and while it mostly focuses on Canada, it has implications for the U.S. and the world. Very much worth a read. Also, this is why political action is important.
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